Hi friends. Welcome to the Life with Loverly podcast. I’m Brittany, a wife, mom and lifestyle entrepreneur here to help you discover your best daily style and encourage you to try new things when getting dressed each day. I took a tiny following on social media and turned it into a community of over one million amazing women, and I am so glad you’re here. I’ll be sharing my heart with you beyond the 15 seconds on Instagram, so we’ll be diving into things like personal growth, friendships, motherhood, marriage, and of course, the business of blogging. Really, this space here to serve as your go – to resource to building a life you adore while sprinkling some kindness to others along the way. Grab an iced coffee and let’s do life together. I’m Brittany and this is the Life With Loverly podcast. Hi friends. Welcome back to today’s episode of the Life With Loverly Podcast. I have my mom in the studio today and I’m so excited. Hi mom, how are you?

I am wonderful. Thank you. How are you?

I’m good. We’re fresh off of your birthday weekend, Mother’s Day. I feel like the start of May, which is just the month of insanity and kind of always has been in our house. But I feel like now it’s for different reasons. So when I was growing up, my dad was the women’s tennis coach at the University of Georgia and May was always their NCAA month, but it’s my mom’s birthday, Mother’s Day, my brother’s birthday. I feel like so many times it was just like May is the craziest month ever.

It really is. It really was. But it was exciting. There was a lot of great things going on, so it was always fun.

Well, and how crazy is it that Collins is graduating kindergarten this week?

I know. I cannot believe it. I feel like this is grown up.

Well, it’s actually really funny that we’re doing this podcast episode today or for this week because I remember when she was starting kindergarten that week, I’m pretty sure you sat down and that was the last time you recorded with me because we were talking about beginning of school year. Absolutely, yes. And going to school and now it’s kind of crazy that here you are back at the studio just at the end of the school year.

Well, thank you. I’m glad to be here.

I know. So today we are going to kind of go through a few themes of this episode. We’re going to talk about routines, staying active, positive mindset, friendship and fulfillment. So I’m going to do this a little bit like a Q&A style and then at the end of the episode, we’ll kind of go back and forth and answer some questions, but it’ll be really conversational. The listeners and my followers always love hearing your advice and just knowing what it is that you are doing as a lady in your 60s. And so I just figured it would be a great time to chat. Well, let’s do it. Okay. So we’re going to start out with routines and how they’ve evolved. What would you say your typical day looks like now?

Well, I would say that it’s pretty relaxed, which is really nice. We just get up in the morning, coffee, devotion time. I just kind of just chill and dad and I get together and talk about what our day looks like. And so it’s pretty relaxed. And then we figure out what we’re doing in our day and we usually work out first and then just get our day started or figure out when we’re going to work out through the day. Sometimes we may go golf or we may have pickleball or something.

And because you’ve been retired for like 10 plus years at this point, and I feel like your routine was a little bit more kind of specific to you. And dad has just been retired for almost two years now. And so how has that shifted having him home and y’all both being retired and now it’s not just like your morning routine, it’s like his and yours.

Correct, exactly. And I feel like it’s going really well. What we do usually is we have an office together in the front room and we actually face each other like we are now. And that was really good. A lot more when he wasn’t retired, we would sit there because we didn’t see each other a whole lot. So then when he was home and had some things to do, I would sit across and we’d chat and talk and whatever. Now in the mornings, that’s where dad goes to sit, but I don’t go there. So I think it’s important for us to have our own time. And so I just go into the kitchen by the fire. I just usually sit there and do my devotion, have my coffee, just kind of relax. And dad does the same thing over in his office or our office. And then we’ll get up and we’ll get over there. I’ll go over there and I’ll sit down. And that’s when we’re like, okay, what’s –

Let’s figure out our plan.

Yeah. Is this what we’re doing today? Because we usually kind of know what we’re doing, but we’ll just talk about it.

Yeah. Well, I feel like you’ve always been kind of a morning person. Obviously now you don’t have to wake up at a certain time, which is nice.

Yes.

But thinking back to when I was younger and when I was growing up, did you have a specific routine and something that you did before we woke up?

Absolutely. I used to set my alarm for 4:30 in the morning because I knew that I needed to get up and I needed to have some me time because that’s when I was teaching and everything. So I’d have that bit of time, do my devotion, coffee. Then I would try to go through my emails, my school emails for the most part, just to make sure that I didn’t have anything from a parent or something that I needed to take care of before I got to school. I did not like to do that at school. Yeah.

It’s so easy to get distracted.

Absolutely. Absolutely. When you’re teaching with all different kids coming up with things that they need. So I just needed that to be done so that I could get to school and just cater to them when they needed.

So how did you balance it all back then? Because I think of I try to set an alarm for early and I’m like, snooze, snooze. And then I will rush around with the kids.

I did that too early on, but I learned that by taking more time to have that time for myself before you guys woke up, that when you did wake up and you came in, I was just more relaxed. I was more prepared to handle whatever it was that you needed versus us all going crazy at the same time or something, trying to get out the door, which that happened too. But I aimed for trying to get that early routine in. And it was hard, but that was just something I knew I needed to do because we were so busy. Our lives were busy. And so I think it’s really important as a mom to make sure you’re taking care of yourself because then you can be the person and the mom that you need to be for your family and your kids. And you’ll know when you’re not because things will start going crazy a bit and you’ll have to go set yourself a goal and take a step back and say, how can we make this better?

So would you say, are there any goals that you try to achieve each day, like certain amount of water, steps or anything like that?

Yes, I do. And I definitely try to get my water in. Dad is so good about drinking water. He loves to make sure that he gets the amount of water. So I’m watching him and going, okay. I see his water jug going down and I’m like, okay, how much have I had today? So I’m like making sure it’s very important that you drink water for so many reasons, but just staying hydrated. And so I watch him and then he’s also, he’s a creature of habit, dad is very much so. And one of the things that he’s been doing since he retired is he is like, I’m working out. I’ve got to do this. And he does the same thing, but maybe a different routine when he’s doing his workout upstairs, but it’s the same. He’s going up there and doing it and blah, blah, blah. So it kind of helps me to stay in step with, okay, I got to get my workout on today. Whereas before when he wasn’t retired, I was trying to do that myself as well, but I would be like, oh, do I really feel like doing that today? Or I’m going to go do this instead or this. So I feel like since he’s been retired, I’ve been

Kind of doing the same.

Exactly.

You’re like, okay, this is the time we’re going to do that.

Exactly. And if I don’t get it in earlier because something else, then I’m trying to figure out, okay, I got to get this in before dinner. So I’ll go for a walk or whatever. But yeah.

Is there something about my current lifestyle that reminds you of yourself?

Absolutely. It’s so funny because I’ll sit back and I’ll watch you. I love watching you go through your day. And then when I’m over there with the kids, or if we’re at the beach together or something, watching you have to go through your day and get the things done that you need to get done. And I giggle inside because I’m sitting here going, “Oh my gosh.” And I’m going, “Did I not take enough breaks or was I too busy?” Because I’m thinking that’s what you watched. You saw busyness. And so I’m constantly going, “Maybe I was too busy. Maybe I didn’t take enough time or whatever.” So I do kind of laugh about that because I remember being like that when I was teaching and then I was coaching and your dad’s out of town and we have sports things to get to and all this other stuff. And then tennis matches to be at. And so it was kind of crazy. So I look at that sometimes and just laugh.

Yeah. I think about that sometimes too. But it probably prepared me to be able to handle just a lot of balls in the air at the same time.

Well, absolutely. And I watched my mom and dad because we owned businesses growing up. And so they were both really driven and both were in their business. My dad had a store and across the street from my dad’s market was my mom’s store. And so I saw them just trying to figure out that whole thing and keep our schedules going and everybody getting home and everybody having their little jobs. I had to have the potatoes peeled and in the pot and just the vegetables on the pot, but nothing to turn on. That was my job. But we all had to just kind of do our thing. So I kind of looked at that when you guys were growing up and I was like, “My mom and dad did this. I could do it too.” So it gave me courage and hope to just kind of keep moving forward when even at times it felt like I was going crazy. Mom and dad did it. I can do it. I got this. Let’s go.

You’re like, okay, there’s somebody before me did this and it’s fine.

Okay. So let’s kind of talk about friendships and social priorities. Who are some of your closest friends in your 30s and how did you stay connected?

Well, my cousin, Suzanne, we brought you guys up together. She had three boys, the three boys, and then I had you and Jared. And so we were always together. We did things together all the time. So I was very close with her. And then our other friends like Ellen and Joanne and Jennifer and Tom Foster, all of those people we did stuff together with before we were married. And then we all started having babies and we still would get together. We would have play dates and we would just get together and birthday parties. I think the birthday parties were more for the adults than they were for the kids because it was like we were together so it was fun. I feel like it changed when everybody started getting into their different schools and then their different sports because you were so busy kind of going in a different direction. So it was harder to get together. And we stayed in contact, but it was just harder to get together as we got busier and busier.

Well, I always think too, I mean, there were certain times I just felt like seasons where you were just so busy. Or when we were doing something that would be like friend time, it was like you were with dad or catching up with him. But when I was younger, there were other times you had the Christian women’s club that you did. And then, I don’t know, but then different seasons were different times and levels of friendship that you could pour into just because their bandwidth was only so much.

Exactly. And in the summertime, we spent a lot of time at the lake and we had that group of friends up there who we were very close to. And so those were the people that surrounded us and that we were just able to spend a lot of time with. Totally.

Yeah. Do you feel like it was hard to maintain friendships while you were raising a family? Obviously just the different times, people going to different schools, different sports and stuff. Did you ever feel like that was hard?

Yeah, it did because I thought about it at times when we weren’t able to be with other people. I’m thinking about for Alan and Joanne, we couldn’t always because we were starting to do things very separately. So then you miss those people and you’re trying to figure out how can we get together? And so it was harder to do that, but we just tried to give a call. For us, it was calling somebody on the phone. It wasn’t like text, “How are you doing?” Pick up the phone and call them. Yeah. Some of those people are now, because all the kids have gone through school, now everybody’s kind of on their own and stuff. And so it’s fun because we’re getting back together with those people, which is so fun. It’s almost like before we had the kids, it’s like, “We’re free again.”

I can totally tell that it feels like y’all are back together with your old friends and then you have even more friends. How would you say if you were giving advice to somebody who was in their 60s, retired, was like, “I just want to know how to meet new friends,” what advice would you give?

Right, right. Well, I think for us, we joined Athens Country Club when dad retired. We didn’t do that earlier because we had the lake house and we were always up at the lake. So that kind of was our escape and getaway. So that really helped joining the country club because we met so many people, people that have been in Athens all the years that we were, but we just had never cross paths. So that’s been fun to do that. And I would say that and then church. It’s always great to meet new people at church.

Well, and you’re so active still. So I feel like you get together and go play pickleball and then next thing you know it’s like you’re meeting all these ladies who are also in the same just path of life and they’re like, “Let’s keep this up.” And you get to know them from that. And it’s just easy friendships are built.

Pickleball has really brought a lot of people together because it is such a great sport that it really doesn’t matter your age or your level a lot of times. Yeah. You can start out, you can play with different levels and then you can continue to develop into a higher level or just stay where you are. But there’s a lot of people playing pickleball. Yeah, that’s a lot of fun. Yeah. Great way to stay active.

What advice would you give me about choosing the right people to keep close?

Well, I think it would be being close to people that you feel like you have stuff in common with. People who are, I think, honest with you, who will tell you things that you need to hear, but maybe things that you don’t need to hear as well. People that have the same values as you.

Well, I think it’s so important too, just people who want to raise their kids in a similar way because I think that’s something I’ve just even found as I’ve gotten older and as we’ve gotten a friend group and there’s friends that are outside of that group, but just the way that people parent and it can become hard to be around certain people who parent completely different because then it’s like, okay. And not anything against anybody who does that, but I guess to really pick who you’re going to spend a lot of time with and super close, it’s like there has to be an alignment there.

I think so too. And I think as a mom that is just around other moms too, you got to give grace to your friends because they’re going to handle things differently than you might.

Totally.

And when you are around situations like that, I think that, and we were too just growing up, but I think that you then have to communicate with your kids maybe after the situation. How do you think we should handle this when this kind of thing happens? Maybe making it in a whole different example. But what do we do if… Just making it so that they can pick up on and remember your values and your rules and the things that you want them to do. And just because they’re around somebody else that maybe isn’t doing that, that you still have to try to remember that this is the way that we like to go and do it.

Do you think that women today put more or less presure on their social lives than your generation did?

Yes. I think that women today do put more pressure on their social life because it seems like I see people trying to get together and do things together. And I think that’s great, but I think that your number one goal needs to be making sure that you’re taking care of your family. If you see that your family’s having a tough week or the kids aren’t somebody’s sick or this or that, then I think as a parent, you just have to maybe pull back on that week and just say, we can’t show up or we can’t do this. But I feel like small groups have really helped people get together. I think those are really important too. I just think that each parent has to just make sure that they’re taking care of their family too and not getting too busy doing.

Because I feel like it’s so easy to just, “Oh, let’s do this with them and then this with them and this with them.” And then it’s like, oh, we haven’t had sit down together family meal in a week because we’ve been going crazy or whatever. I definitely feel like I’m constantly getting together with my girlfriends for going to dinner or something. And I don’t remember at this, or maybe, I don’t know, maybe when I was in elementary school, I just feel like I don’t remember

Me doing that.

You always doing that.

I really couldn’t. I really couldn’t. Because your dad was away.

I actually remember one time you were gone and it was more of dad’s babysitting us instead of dad’s our father.

Right, right.

Just because he traveled all the time.

Yes, yes.

And I remember we walked outside to let the dog out or something and there was a raccoon or some thing on

Or – was it an armadillo?

Yes.

Yeah, a possum or something.

Something. It was not a raccoon, but it was like an animal like that. And he’s like, “Get the encyclopedia.” This was literally before the internet. We didn’t have cell phones. And he’s like, “Get the encyclopedia. What do we do with this?” And then Jared and I are so young and we’re just like, “What?” And he’s like, “Okay, well, I’m going to teach you how to find something in an encyclopedia.” And I just remember being like, “When’s mom coming home. What is happening?”

I would just shoot it off with a broom or something.

But it’s just funny because that whereas I feel like all the time we’re, oh, two times a month it’s going to girls’ dinner. And my kids are just so used to all of my friends and knowing all of them.

And that’s a great thing. That’s a great thing. I just didn’t feel like I could put that into my schedule because of the fact that dad was gone a lot. So I was like, “I can’t. I can’t do that too because I can’t.”

Well, and I feel like one reason I feel like I can is because Chris is home and able.

Exactly. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I had a Bonco group that I did.

Yeah, I remember that.

And I had Bible studies that I went to and I would do those, but then dad was at home. He would be taking care of you.

Babysitting.

Yeah.

Very true. I mean, he would even say that.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But anyway.

It’s just interesting how I feel like at times I almost want to go back to like, “Nope, I’m going to keep our sacred time with my nuclear family.” I don’t feel like I have to say yes. I want us to just stay. I mean, I just feel like things go around in a circle generationally. The way that we were raised, I feel like some of those tendencies and things are coming back and we’re starting to raise our kids those same ways instead of going to what society has to say.

Right, right.

Okay. Is there a friend from the past that you still think about often?

Yes, I do. My very best friend growing up, she’s no longer with us, but I think of her all the time because we spent so much time together in high school. So I think of her all the time. And I had another really close friend that I’m still friends with from high school and I ran with her in Canada, Karen.

Oh, Karen.

Karen Hummel.

Oh –

Yes.

I was like, “Wait, the other Karen.”

And the other one was Karen too. Yes. Yeah, so those are pretty much my two friends. And then I still have friends when I came to Georgia and I had girls, friends on the team that I ran with. And Joanne and I are still very close. Joanne was on the team with us. And Lori, Aunt Lori, who’s your wedding –

I was in her wedding. I was her flower girl.

That’s right. And she was at your wedding.

Yeah,

She came. And so I stay in contact with her and that’s it. So, there’s a few that, yeah.

Well, and it’s funny because obviously Shay and I are very close now because we live next door to each other. But there was times even after college where I was in Atlanta, she was in Alabama, she was here, that I wouldn’t talk to her for a while just because of work or whatever. And it’s like as soon as you pick back up the phone, it’s just like nothing ever stopped. You pick the conversation back up.

Absolutely. And that’s such a great sign of a true friend. Nothing really has to stop.

Okay. So I know the answer to this. You and dad still go out on dates?

Yes.

All the time.

Yes.

I feel like at least once a week.

Yeah. I mean, it’s fun and we’ll get dressed up and we’ll –

Yeah. But you also go out with your supper clubs. Yeah. They had this group called TNT, Tuesday Night Tasters, and it was six of them. And they would go around Athens and try every restaurant. And I don’t know, y’all have a way of picking who gets to pick. And they would try new restaurants, repeat restaurants. I mean, but that went on for years.

It’s still going on. We’re still doing it. And wonderful, great friends of ours, Jim and Kara Moncreef, and then Ben and Julie Patrick who were our neighbors at the lake. So we have done this for almost 30 years. 25, 30 years.

Yeah. It’s so crazy.

Yeah. And we do it now it’s cut back a bit to maybe twice a month, but we would be every Tuesday night and we would take turns on who chose to go where. So one of us would do it one week, the next week, somebody else, and then the next week. And then we’d just rotate and we just keep doing that and doing it and doing it.

So fun.

Yeah, it was fun. And we’re still very close with them. We go to football games together. We do tailgating together.

Totally.

Yeah, they’re wonderful.

I love that. I love that you and dad are still together still. While we’re not there and we are out of the house, but it feels like y’all are each other’s person.

I feel like we’ve always been really close. I’m so blessed and fortunate because maybe that’s not always, but we put a lot of effort into our relationship. I think that’s important. And I think time spent together is really important. That’s where you’re going to learn to be together.

Yeah, for sure.

And I think the other thing, it’s really important to have things to do together. Dad and I have always run together. We’ve always like –

Or go on walks.

Walks. Yeah. We’re doing more walking now than we are running, but we’d go on walks all the time. Or even if we’re really frustrated about something like I’m thinking one way on something and he’s thinking the other way on something, then we’ll just be at our wit’s end and we just need to go, okay, we need to just

Go for a walk.

Go for a walk. Or we’ll just kind of give each other a little bit of space for a bit, but then we’ll come back and we’ll go, “Okay, do you want to go for a walk?” And then we’ll go for a walk and it’s amazing because we’ll just talk things out through the walk.

Well, it’s interesting too. I feel like I read a study where it talks about having an argument or a discussion while you’re on a walk. You’re together, but you’re not forced to look at the person.

Correct.

So then you’re able to just say maybe what you’re feeling a little bit more because it’s not directly to their face. It’s almost like you have an even field of fighting because it’s like, “I’m just saying this because I’m going forward and it feels like maybe a softer delivery because it’s not looking them in the eyes.

I agree 100%. And I also think the tone of voice stays the same because you know how sometimes you can get mad at your… ” Your tone of voice might change, but when you’re on a walk, it’s like you’re not going to raise your voice and be walking, raising your voice because people driving by, you’re thinking about that. Okay, we’ve got to kind of… But that’s the way you should be talking anyways when you love somebody and you’re out of love. I mean, we’re supposed to do that. But sometimes when things are a little crazy, you might want to say a little bit more in a certain tone of voice. Walking is good for that.

I always feel like that is one thing I think back on if y’all were ever upset or something and y’all would go for a walk and then y’all would come back and the problem was to be solved or it was worked out. I always think about that, how that was something y’all always did and still do.

Yeah, I think so. And it was and the other thing when you guys were little, I remember that if we were kind of not on the same page with something, then it was not something we were going to be really talking about in front of you as much as we could help to do that. It was like we would be, now’s not the time. We need to talk about this later. Because we just didn’t want you guys to see us. We didn’t want this picture to think that you guys were painted, that we could never make any mistakes, but I think it was good for us to not carry out and have agreements and disagreements and arguing in front of you guys. Yeah. Not to say it never happened, but we though about that a lot.

I remember like being mostly behind closed doors, which then I feel like it kind of jaded me a little bit because I was like, this is just how relationships are going to be. They’re just going to be respectful to each other. And then I’d be like, okay, my standards are so high.

Yeah. Well, but that’s a good thing.

Okay. So moving on to our next section, which is staying active. I know lots of people are always like, “Oh my gosh, your mom, what is she doing to stay active?” So let’s take it back a little bit. What are some of your favorite ways to stay active when you were raising us?

When I was raising you guys, I had a baby jogger, which was the greatest thing because that just… And I had a double baby jogger because you guys were 21 months apart and I was like, I knew that when dad was away, I still needed to get my run-in because that was my thing. I just needed to do it. Yeah, my sanity. And so I would either put you guys in the baby jogger and off we went or I would call a babysitter. Usually I call the babysitter and have them come while you were taking a nap and it might run into a little bit after that, but I would try to do it during that time because again, there was a lot of time that dad wasn’t there because of being out of town or that I felt that I needed to be there too just because he wasn’t. And so I would go ahead and do that. I think it’s really important to be able to give yourself some time. And if that means getting a babysitter, then yeah, just get a babysitter.

Shay does that a lot now with Shep still being at home and she realized after, probably after he turned one, she was like, “I’ve got to prioritize.” And so she does that a lot. But I mean, you ran track and cross country at Georgia. You have always been a very active person, runner. So I mean, the fact that you’ve continued that, I feel like it’s just also in your blood.

I think it is too. That’s where I’m at my happiest. I don’t know if I’m just struggling with something, going out for a walk or just running, I just feel like this is my happy place. But I think it’s because I’ve done it for so many years that it’s just something that’s so normal and part of me. Yeah. Might not be as fast as I used to but.

That’s okay. Okay. So now, are there other ways besides running or walking that you stay active and how do you keep it fun or sustainable?

Yeah. Now I have pickleball that I’ve put in the mix up of everything and I’m now golf. So I just try to balance it throughout the week and just make sure that I am doing like on my pickleball days I might just go for a walk, but it won’t be just not that long of a walk. I’ve started doing more weightlifting, like weights three or four days a week. And I’ve usually just get that from different Instagram people that I follow that are my age and they just have great 20 minute routines that are so easy to just grab a couple of weights and just do this routine. And there’s so many that you can follow.

You’re going to need to share some of these accounts with us because I’m sure that people are going to be like, “Wait.” They’re always like, “Well, who does your mom follow?”

Yeah. I’ll give you the people that I follow for the workout routines because they are really, really good. So I’ve just kind of been mixing it up.

Yeah. How would you motivate someone to begin an exercise routine in their 50s or 60s if this isn’t a common practice for them right now?

I would say walk. Start out walking. Just go out and walk. If you can just go walk for 10 or 15 minutes, just go walk. Get a walk in and then look up some of these online 20 minute workouts or 10 minute workouts and just grab a couple of weights. Just get some weights in there.

Yeah, you can get them at Target.

Yeah. Or TJ Max.

Big TJ. Big Maxinista over here.

And so you can just grab 10 pounds or five pounds and just start out with something light. Or you can actually even just use your body weight. You don’t have to start with the weights, just start moving. I think the key is to move and try to move every day. And you’ll find I think that the more you go out and go for a walk that you’ll just increase it. Soon your 15 minutes will become 20 and then 30. And then just keep adding to it and just realize that it’s a really good thing for you to do.

Yeah. Well, I also think I love listening to audiobooks or podcasts. And so sometimes I’m like, “This is a great time. I’m just going to walk for the duration of this podcast or whatever.” Exactly. And so then it’s like you feel like you’re hearing something, you’re doing something, you’re walking. It’s nice too.

Yeah, exactly. And you can even, while you’re walking, if you want to make it a little bit more active than while you’re walking, just go ahead and maybe after the first five minutes or so, just start walking a little faster. So look at your watch and for five minutes, walk at a little bit faster pace and then drop back down to just a normal walk. So you can slowly just incorporate stuff like that just to get in. And I think just getting in a routine. If you can do something like that, start out with three days a week and then maybe do four days a week.

Yeah, that’ll be a good place to start at least. Now we’re going to go into keeping a positive mindset. So you’ve always seemed to be somebody who’s very optimistic. How do you maintain that attitude?

I don’t know. I think it’s because I’m a problem sover. And I think being a teacher too and in the teaching field, I feel like I always had to… If a child came up and they were distressed or something was going on, it was like I problem solved. I’m like, okay, how are we going to make this better? What can we do to make you smile again? Or what can we do to this was a crazy situation that just happened. Okay. Well, what would be better? Or how could… So I think that being in that field has really helped a lot, but I just try to think of things positively. Things are going to happen in life, good things and bad. And I think that we just kind of have to be prepared for all things. And when something does happen, we can either stay in that woe with me, oh my goodness, frame of mind. And that’s not bad. At times you might have to do that, but then you got to come out of that. How can we be happy again? What can we do to…

Yeah. Well, and I mean, I think you just enjoy living in the happy version of yourself and happy vibes.That’s just more exciting.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

It’s funny. I feel like I remember having friends spend the night and they would always be like, “Oh, I just love when your mom comes and wakes us up in the morning because she’s just so, Hi sweetie. How did you sleep?” Just so encouraging from the start. And they’re like at my house, it’s like, “Get up.” She’s so aggressive. And so it’s just always funny. I always think about that. We would just so gently like, “Good morning.”

Good morning, sunshine. No, I think I say that to the girls a lot too when they wake up, “Good morning, sunshine.” They’ll come walking down the stairs.

And I try to do that with the kids too, where I’m just like give them a soft, happy start to the day.

Absolutely.

It’s just like happiness.

Absolutely. It just feels like – The days can be crazy. They can go to school and their friends might not be nice or whatever, but they know that when they wake up in the morning, mommy’s going to be just happy. Or when they see you at the end of the day, the first time you see your kids at the end of the day.

Yeah. So sweet. It’s very true.

It’s so true. Yeah.

What were some of your mental or emotional challenges when you were my age?

I think just trying to keep everything together was really… And it wasn’t a struggle. I grew up in, like I said, both my parents were working. So we were on a pretty tight schedule. I think when you’re in school too, you’re just on a tight schedule because you have to be there. You have to blah, blah, blah. So I think just trying to keep things going no matter what. Even by myself, I feel like when dad was away and I was by myself, I really had an appreciation for single parents because I really could understand this is tough. You got to do everything on your own. And it’s like, whew. So I think just trying to keep it together sometimes was hard, but it was something you just kind of had to keep doing.

Yeah. Who or what did you lean on when life feels overwhelming?

I go completely to God. I just stop and pray. I feel like I carry on conversations with God, and I think that’s important too. And so I’ll go to him first and I just pray for peace and just a calmness to, okay, I know you’re with me and I know that we can get through this. And I’ve just seen hi come through so many times in my life that there’s not a doubt in my mind that that’s the first place I should go to.

Back when you were my age, I mean, I don’t think I really ever recognized this if you did, but I feel like so many people, myself included nowadays feel so much more anxious and have anxiety. Did you feel that back in your 30s?

Yeah, I did. I did. And I remember that. And I think a lot of that was usually when I put too many things on my plate. That’s about right. And so you kind of live and learn. And I’ve kind of learned over the years now I don’t do that at all. But I don’t have you guys at home anymore or anything and things are just a little bit different, but I just don’t go there. But if I did it while you guys were young, it might’ve been, okay, someone would say, oh, can you do this? Sure. Whatever. And it’s like I had to learn to just say no. And it was always you put too many things and you got all anxious when you had too much going on. And then what I found was I would take that back home and that’s not the person I want to be at home. So I had to –

And then you’re mad at your kids because they’re just being kids, but you’re overstimulated and so anxious.

From something else that it just is… Yeah, exactly. So I think just not putting too much on your plate and I learned that it was okay to say no. Or instead of having to give somebody an answer right then, I would just say, “Let me think about it. Let me talk to my husband or let me look at my calendar and I’ll get back to you.” And that way it gave me time to be away from that person and just really figure out whether or not I could do something.

Yeah, that’s smart. Like not giving an immediate answer.

Yeah, you don’t have to. You don’t have to. At first, I thought I had to. Then I learned I don’t really have to do that. And it really was kind of freeing.

No kidding. What would you say, I mean, you kind of mentioned this, how you do your Bible study in the mornings. Do you have specific books you like to do or what is your go – to devotional or Bible study time?

Well, right now I have the Bible app and I love that. I love it. I did read the Bible in a year last year and then this year

Charlie Cobble.

Yes. I know. I love her. And then this year I did something. I’m just doing the New Testament. So we’re diving deep into that. And so I’m doing that this year, but then there’s so many things in that app that can just… You can go into a different plan for how you’re feeling. So you’re going through, let’s say you’re going through a time of sorrow, you’re going through some really bad times. Then there’s plans for that. So you can just click on sorrow and go to… And it has a list of plans that are maybe like five-day plans, six-day plans, seven-day plans, but it’s the specific time that you’re going through and it’s so helpful. So along with my yearly one that I’m in, I usually I’ll pop into – Just pick a plan. Yeah, I’ll pop into there’s some on marriage, there’s some on children, there’s so many of them. And so it’s really, really cool. I just love it. The second year I’ve been doing it and it’s just been great. And then I have two little devotion books. That little pink one that I love that one.

She was always taking pictures and being like, “Just read this this morning. I love you sweetie.” And I’ll read it or whatever. But it’s always so sweet.

Well, and it’s so applicable to life. I swear I can get into this thing and it’ll just be… I’m like, “How did they know?” And I’m just like, “Okay, God.”

So true. I interviewed Cleere Reeves from Cleerelystated and she, I was talking to her one time and I was like, “I just don’t understand.” So many times, whatever message you put up that morning is like, I needed to hear that. I’m like, “Do you pre-do these?” And she’s like, “No. I write out the day. Those happen in the morning. The Lord tells me what to put out and then that’s what it is.”

Yeah, that’s amazing. That’s so fascinating. A wonderful calling and what a privilege for her. That’s awesome. Well, that’s really – Well, it’s so helpful for so many people on this.

Oh my goodness. Totally.

It really is.

Well, and it’s so interesting about the Bible app because how many times are you… Or for me, I know sometimes I’ll just be like, “Gosh, I really need to just sit down with my Bible and open it up. I’m struggling with X, Y, Z.” But then I’m like, “What am I going to do? The James.” It’s like I don’t exactly know where to go, but I just know I need to be in the Bible. So having something where you can go to a specific theme or this is what I’m feeling.

Absolutely.

And then a guide will help, but it’s at your fingers. Everybody could get the Bible app.

Everybody can. It’s really been life-changing for me.

I have to check that out.

Yeah, I’ve loved it. And it does have the Bible, of course. So the little things at the bottom, you can click just on Bible and just read right up the Bible. Because I’ll get the little pink devotion that I do. I do that daily, but then there’s scripture at the bottom and it’s just the scripture. So I go into the Bible app, I read it. Yeah. So it puts me into the word as well, that little devotional that I have.

Okay. I have a few kind of rapid fire questions and some of these we can answer together. What is a one word that you would use to describe each other? So I guess both of us.

Oh, calm to you. I think of you as calm. You calm me.

Wow.

Yeah, you really do. You give me a peace. Yeah, a sense of calm.

I don’t really feel calm in my head a lot of the time.

I know, which is really great because I’ll look at you sometimes and I’m just like, “Oh, she’s still calm.”

So funny.

Yeah.

I feel like the first word that came to my mind is caring. You can always tell if just with anybody, you’re always like, “Okay, what’s going on?” You can get to the heart of the… But I think you’re an Enneagram two.

Okay. I don’t know what Enneagram I am. I really need to read the Enneagram test.

I think you’re a two because you’re a fixer and a helper. Most teachers are. But anyway, some of those, you’re just caring. It’s my first word for you. Okay, a go-to comfort meal from your childhood.

My mom’s spaghetti. Yeah. Yeah. Friday nights were spaghetti night. And it was amazing.

I remember grandma’s spaghetti recipe.

She made the best spaghetti sauce. Yeah.

I also feel like spaghetti pie was like a –

Spaghetti pie was a go-to meal for you for sure. Yeah.

It’s funny. Actually, we learned over Thanksgiving, we thought the spaghetti pie recipe was from this one person that they’ve been accrediting the spaghetti pie recipe.

To Lori Friedland, one of the girls on dad’s team. Yeah.

And for 20 or 30 years because she’s gotten it. And, my parents told her, “Oh, we’ve been making your spaghetti pie recipe.” And she’s like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

So we did it. Didn’t we do it over Thanksgiving? Yeah. And then we FaceTimed Lori and said, “Oh yeah, we’re making your spaghetti pie.” And she goes, “What?” And it was her sister’s recipe. But while she was on our team, while she was on dad’s team, we all had dinner at our house and she, I guess her sister gave her the recipe.

Her the recipe

And said this. So then Lori brought it and was like, “This is the recipe for spaghetti pie or this is spaghetti pie.”

And then we just were like making it as like a family forever.

Yeah. So it was really funny. We had a good laugh over that.

She’s like, “I think you sent this to the wrong person.” And we were like, “No.”

We have been giving you credit. Yeah.

That is funny.

It was great.

Who’s more of a morning person? You or me? I would probably say you still.

I think I am. I think I am.

Yeah. But you now can sleep in.

Well, yeah. So now, well, all the books that I love to read are all on health. And because I’ve really dive into that, I know the importance of sleep. So when I go to bed at night, depending on the time it is, I’m like, okay, so it’s 10 o’clock. So now I guess eight hours later I got to get my eight hours of sleep so I can get up anytime after six. But if we don’t go to bed till midnight, let’s say we’ve gone out.

She can’t get up till eight.

Right. Then I can’t get… No, then I don’t even, I won’t.

I know there’s definitely times where I’m like, “Hey, the kid’s going to FaceTime.” Or I’ll just be calling and you’re like –

Just waking up.

Waking up. Yeah. I’m like, “Ugh, must be nice.”

Well, yeah. And it wasn’t always that way. So now that’s the luxury of being retired.

Being on the other side.

Being on the other side. It is kind of nice, but I still get up in the morning and I’m ready to roll. So I kind of like that.

I feel like I am more a morning person than I am a night person.

100%. I think you are too.

But I could also sleep more. I’m always like six or 6:30. How crazy are we feeling this week?

Yeah.

Or it’s mostly like, if I don’t have to wash my hair, okay, then that –

Then I can give a little bit more time.

Yeah.

Yeah. That’s funny.

It’ll change, I think. It just kind of… and it has because I used to get up super early and then I feel like when I had kids, I could sleep a little bit more and I was just tired.

Yeah.

Okay. What’s a habit that we’ve picked up from each other over the years?

Oh man.

Chris would probably… And I’m going to find it. One of Chris’s pet peeves about me is I’ll start a sentence and then we’ll just stop in the middle of the sentence because I’m doing something else. And he’s like – Can you finish it? What was the question? I’m like, “Oh yeah.” And I think you do that.

I definitely do that. The other thing that I think we do that, and this is kind of funny, but I have always gritted my teeth when I’m doing something and hard and stuff. And I’ve done that since I was a kid. And then you do it and now Collins, I’ve noticed Collins kind of does it too. And I’m like, “Oh my gosh, this is so crazy.”

Like opening a can or something where it’s like you’re exerting a lot of energy. That’s funny.

So yeah, I just kind of laugh.

Okay. This one I guess is more directed to me, but what’s one piece of advice that stuck with you from your mom? Although I guess you could answer it because you also had a mom at one point. So what’s one piece of advice that stuck with you from your mom?

Oh goodness. Again, the thing that I always felt around her was a sense of calm as well. I mean, she just was, no matter what anything was going on, she was just never frazzled by it. Yeah, it was really a wonderful thing.

Maybe that’s where I get it from.

I mean, I think you might.

Grandma.

Yeah. Yep.

What’s a moment you’ve shared that always makes you both laugh?

Oh, I know. Well, I think we laugh about things that have gone on after college. That’s what I tend to laugh about when I think.

Like what?

The newspaper guy.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, that’s not… I was so traumatized.

You were traumatized, but I’ve never laughed so hard about something that had happened that you were so traumatized on. And also the squirrels, all your squirrels situations.

All the quirls.

When those were going on. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

The squirrels just love me.

And the spider then we were camping. Stuff like that.

I feel like it’s more stuff we can look back on. Oh, me too. That is like, oh my goodness. Or do you remember I used to do this thing coming down the hill at the lake and it would be like, “Buckle your seatbelt. We’re going for a ride.

We’re going for a ride.”

And I have no idea where that came from, but we would do that and we would just die laughing because I don’t know why.

Well, we used to do that when you were little and we were in the car. I would say, “Buckle your seatbelt, buckle your seatbelt.”

But it was like you say it with this voice.

Buckle your seatbelt. We’re going for a ride.

Yeah. Yeah. Those are some, just being at the lake and doing diferent things. Yeah. I do feel like middle schoolers today don’t understand the awkwardness of just figuring things out. We didn’t have cell phones or the internet. And so you just made up games and if it was dumb, it just didn’t matter. But it was like you were trying to make people laugh. Nobody… I don’t know. That’s just not how it is today.

I know. I know.

And there’s so many times where it was like we were just doing dumb stuff to be entertained.

Right, right. Exactly. Yeah.

That’s funny.

I think games and puzzles and things like that that you can do with your kids now are teaching them.

Yeah,

I know. To just do something else but the phone because the phones, but it’s part of our lives. It’s part of everybody’s lives.

I know.

So they’ll always have that, but just the ability to be able to put it down. So important. Yeah.

Okay. These are a little bit more fast-paced questions. Do you prefer wearing flats or heels?

Platforms. Sorry.

I agree. I’m like, she was going to say platform. I feel like a heel.

Okay. You like a heel?

I wear heels just more.

Yeah. Heels are not… They weren’t very comfortable the other night when…

You’re like mad you didn’t have a Bandaid.

Right. I well… And I was like, “What did I say to you?” I said, “I wish I would’ve worn platforms.”

Yeah.

Yeah.

You did.

I was like, “Why didn’t know if we were walking this far, I would’ve… Didn’t know how much we were walking.” Right.

Neutral colors or bold colors?

Neutral.

Same.

I’ve grown to that though because I think I used to be a little bit more into the bold stuff. I kind of like the bold kind of things, but I’m really loving neutrals. That’s probably because of you.

Yeah, probably. Okay. Coffee or tea?

Coffee.

Coffee. Coffee all the way. I mean, I just can’t even imagine.

No, life without it.

And you are the coffee queen. You’re who got me so into it.

I know. Well, and you can cut back on… I found a really good decaf coffee that’s good too. Because I like to have it in the afternoons too. This afternoon when I go home because it’s rainy and stuff, I’ll probably just have a –

I know. I will have coffee on the way home.

Yeah. Yeah. But if I have decaf… The reason why I say decaf is because when you get my age, then any caffeine after 12 o’clock noon just keeps me up. I just cannot. It’s just crazy.

Yeah, that is wild.

Yeah, it is. So that’s why I found a really good decaf. Decaf’s usually really bland, but I found one that’s really strong.

That one like, what is it called?

Well, I don’t know the name of it, but it comes in that brown K-cup.

Yeah, but it’s like the net. It’s not like a plastic K-cup, right?

No, the one that I’m talking about is a dark brown.

Oh.

But I do have the other one that I like has the little net. Yeah. And that’s just biodegradable. Yeah. Rather than having the plastic. So if I could find a good decaf in that one.

Yeah.

Like with the other coffee

You would do that.

Yeah. I would do that too just because all the plastic, there’s so many plastic pieces, but do what you can.

This is very true. Um, okay. One word to describe your personal style.

I don’t know. I want to say classic, but not. I think that’s what I really like to be classic and simple, but I don’t know if I’m that… I don’t know.

I feel like you’re more… I mean, you’re not quite eclectic, but you’re not like… I think of classic as button downs and like Nantucket.

Yeah. I might not be that. Yeah.

You’re okay to try trends, but –

Absolutely. But I do kind of have my own…

It’s very like you. There’s things that you put on that I’m like, “Where did you even find that?” But it works on you.

Yeah, exactly.

It’s mostly from TJ Maxx.

Now I’ve started mixing, and you do this, but patterns.

Yeah.

And as long as they’re the same color, you can have different patterns.

Yeah.

So it’s a very fun way to live.

Okay. When you look back at your life so far, what moments feel the most meaningful?

I think the most meaningful was finding a husband, finding your dad, that was the most meaningful. And then having you guys and just raising a family. That was most meaningful to me was that, just being able to experience that joy and that much love. And then when you guys… And you know this from having kids too now that you have your first and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, this is the greatest.” And then you find out you’re pregnant again, you’re kind of scary because you’re thinking, “How can I love another thing? How can I do this?” And then you can. And so just loving and having a family is the most meaningful. That was the biggest and the most. And then doing the one thing that I wanted to do since I was younger and that was be a teacher. So I had that opportunity to do that too and that was wonderful. But I’d say family first for sure.

What does a fulfilled life mean to you?

I think a fulfilled life is being able to spend time with family, do the things that dad and I want to do together, being able to enjoy the things that we like to do separately as well. And then just making sure that again, family’s first and spending time with you guys and the grandkids.

Is there something that you wish that you’d embraced earlier in life?

Yeah. I think I wish that I would’ve been able to slow down and be a little… I don’t know. I felt like our life was just so fast paced and I’m sure everybody does that in that time of life when they’re going a million miles an hour. But I wish that I would’ve, if I could go back to those days, I wish that I would’ve realized that I could just relax and not be so uptight about doing this this way or getting this done. I just wish I would’ve been able to, I don’t know, maybe handle things differently or just maybe given myself a little bit more grace because I think you can get really hard on yourself too. Yeah, it’s true. If things don’t fall in place or if you put a lot of guilt on yourself, I’m not doing this or maybe I need to be doing this.

I mean, I guess this kind of goes along with that, but if you could write a note to your 35-year-old self, what would it say?

Slow down. Slow down and enjoy every moment. I think enjoy every moment that you have with your kids is that because it gets so quick. It’s so fast. And I’m thankful that we get that opportunity to enjoy the grandkids now. And that’s what I think any grandparent would probably say is, oh my gosh, this is why they say grandparenting is the greatest because we’re not going a million miles an hour.

You can like sit and do the things and like

Right. Yeah. So if I could say to you or to Jared or whatever, when everything seems busy and everything like that, even taking a minute or two minutes to sit on the ground and just say, give a hug or just say, “I just love you so much,” or whatever. Because at the time you’re going a million miles an hour, you’re in your head going, “Okay, I got to get this done and this and then dinner. And then you have to be at the sports place at this time and we have to do this and that and everything.” I know. So it’s just those little minutes and it doesn’t have to take a long time, just a minute or two. Because I think for kids, that probably would really mean a lot for you guys. I don’t know if you remember the times when things were crazy and were all over the place. How great would it have been to just stop for a minute? Everybody sit on the ground, chill, whatever, two minutes, just chill. We probably would’ve laughed or whatever. You know what I mean? I look back and I go, “Oh my gosh, what could we have done?” And it really wouldn’t have taken that much.

I think if you would’ve done that, I probably would’ve been like

Laughing.

A yoga instructor somewhere. Like I would be like too calm.

Right.

That’s so funny.

So anyways.

Well, thank you for coming on the podcast and for sharing some of your expertise with us.

Wow, you’re so welcome.

I feel like we need to go do another one and just dive more into all your thoughts on supplements and healthy eating and all of that because we don’t have time today, but that’s a whole other excellent topic that we could just like you’re incredibly knowledgeable on.

Well, I think there’s a lot of information that is on Instagram and stuff and there’s so many things. And the only thing I really do is I think that’s really important because there are so many things on is to really kind of dig deep. You can go down rabbit holes a lot, but to dig deep and don’t think that just because you read it on Instagram, that’s the truth.

Totally. Like get your own research and stuff like that.

Do your own research. Look it up and then make your decisions based on that.

We’ll have to get you back in the studio and we can talk about that next time.

Love to. Thank you.

Well, I am so thankful for you and I am just so glad that you shared all this wisdom and knowledge and fun conversation with us. For those of you guys who follow along on Instagram, we will share some of my mom’s favorite things and some items that she mentioned in this episode. If there’s something from this episode that you have questions about, please feel free to email or direct message us, but we’ll try to get some of your favorite things out for the people and listeners and followers to get access to. Perfect. Okay. All right. All right friends, until next time. Hi friend. If you’re loving the show, will you go find that follow button on your podcast app? This will ensure that you won’t miss a single episode. I love having you in this community. Until next time. This season of Life with Loverly is produced by Elizabeth Evans Media Productions.