Hi friends. Welcome to the Life with Loverly podcast. I’m Brittany, a wife, mom, and lifestyle entrepreneur here to help you discover your best daily style and encourage you to try new things when getting dressed each day. I took a tiny following on social media and turned it into a community of over one million amazing women, and I am so glad you’re here. I’ll be sharing my heart with you beyond the 15 seconds on Instagram, so we’ll be diving into things like personal growth, friendships, motherhood, marriage, and of course, the business of blogging. Really, this space is here to serve as your go-to resource to building a life you adore while sprinkling some kindness to others along the way. Grab an iced coffee and let’s do life together. I’m Brittany, and this is the Life With Loverly Podcast. Hi, friends. Welcome back to the Life with Loverly Podcast. We’ve had a little bit of a break, and while we are still in an off season, I wanted to do a really special episode because a dear friend of mine has some exciting news to share, and she’s been on the podcast before, and I think you guys will love hearing this information she’s going to share with us today. And there’s some really great lessons and I’ve kind of missed y’all, so we were looking for an excuse to get back on the podcast. So this is a really fun, special little mini episode. But today, not in the studio, but in my keeping room at my house, I have my friend Laura Whitaker with us.

Hey.

How are you?

This is fun.

I know. Well, last time we were in the studio, and this feels like so much more cozy, and we’re sitting by a Christmas tree, which you guys can’t see, but it’s like just –

It feels right.

Yes, it really does. I think we might start doing the podcast from here too. I love it. So this is a good test run. Yeah. Okay. Well, for those of you guys who might not have listened to our last episode or even have known that I have another episode with Laura, which we will link in the show notes because I think that’s such a great episode to go back and listen to and get some backstory. But Laura, can you share a high level just what ESP is and who it serves and how long you’ve been the CEO?

Yeah, so we exist to create transformative experiences for people with disabilities and their families, and we’re a nonprofit that’s changing communities for the better. So we serve individuals with disabilities all the way from the time they were born, all the way through adulthood, and the time they get their job with JavaJoy. So we wrap around the family, provide additional support. And what we’ve seen is that we are almost in our fifth community. So we are changing communities for the better with people of all abilities. I have been there actually on Monday, it will be 20 years that I’ve been in leadership at ESP. That’s crazy. 21 years since I walked in as a little 18-year-old. And so really half my lifetime, which is pretty crazy.

Isn’t it wild to just think of all the things that you’ve just accomplished as an individual, as a mom? She has three kids, you’re married. I just feel like you’ve had so many other life things.

Yes.

And on top of that have still been in this very involved CEO role.

Yes.

It’s kind of crazy.

Well, I think the organization has evolved every couple years or else I probably still wouldn’t be there because people like you and I, we need to build things. And it’s been truly the joy of a lifetime to watch my kids grow up in this community, just like your girls are growing up in this community and watch the humans they’re becoming now in adulthood. My son’s 17 and watching who he is becoming because of ESP. So yeah, to think about all the people that we’ve met and all the work that we’ve done, but then just with my children and my family, what a gift it’s been to be around ESP.

Well, and that’s one reason I feel like Chris and I really wanted to get involved, just raising our kids around people of all abilities. And it’s kind of interesting because this is a little bit different, but my brother, he’s got one prosthetic leg. And so my kids are always like, “What happened, Uncle Jared’s leg?” And so they see that difference already. But then taking them out in the community, taking them to the ESP playground and seeing them swinging next to a friend who is in a wheelchair who’s like mom had to pick her up and put her in the special swing, it just, I feel like is giving them inclusion that they don’t even know they’re building yet.

Yes.

It’s funny because they were actually wanting to go to ESP playground today, and this morning it was raining. And so I was like, “We got to pivot a little bit,” but that’s one of their staples, which I’m so excited that they want to go to a place and that ESP has created a place where people of all abilities want to go and spend time. And so it’s just opening their eyes to everybody around them.

Yes. And it’s crazy to think that they will never not understand a world without people with disabilities. They’re always going to have people with disabilities in their life. You trace back to their memory and because the choice that you and Chris have made to be around ESP and to be around people with different abilities, they’re always going to remember that. They’re never going to have to unlearn something, which I think is really powerful and super cool.

And I feel like even growing up, we didn’t have the opportunity. I mean, I knew somebody who worked with my mom had a daughter with special needs, actually Hannah. Gosh, what’s her last name?

Baird?

Yes.

Yes. I didn’t realize that.

Yeah. Hannah was at Madison County Schools and my mom was an elementary school teacher at Comer Elementary, and that’s where their paths crossed. But she was one of the first people with Down syndrome that I ever knew or ever met. And I feel like my kids just get to see so much more. But we also take them to camp or put them in like places –

You guys are very intentional about it.

Yes. Where I’m like, “Let’s help.” So then they’re just kind of like, “This is normal.” And Chris and I have absolutely loved just getting to share a little bit more travel time with you guys. And we’ve gone to London two times, which has been so much fun. I mean, honestly, I think everybody should put on their bucket list traveling with somebody that has special needs because you get to see the world through a different set of eyes. Traveling with Nikki and Lily. It’s fun.

It’s so joyful. Yes. Yes. And then normal nuances that may annoy you about travel just don’t. And I feel like Nikki and Liz and Lily, they’re so grateful and thankful. And like you said, they see things differently and it just makes you appreciate every moment, even if it is a long flight or an annoying taxi driver or things don’t go the right way. The beautiful silver linings that came from those trips are really fun.

I know. And I’ll never forget Liz’s first time using chopsticks. And every time I am either teaching the kids to use chopsticks or using them myself, I think back to how we were teaching her to use them and then she did it and we were like, “Yes.” There’s those little things that you would take for granted. It just also makes you realize life, it doesn’t have to be that serious sometimes.

Yes. Yes. It’s my favorite thing that ESP has taught me is that when you’re young and you’re a child, you laugh so much. And I think this statistic is something like 70 times a day when you’re a child. And then you fast-forward to when you’re an adult, and sometimes it’s one time a day. And people with different abilities oftentimes never lose that. And so that joy, that delight in one another, the humor, the enjoyment of being together is really what I’ve learned. And now what I’m passionate about sharing with the rest of the world is it’s not just about ESP, it’s about the fact that people of all abilities have something to teach the rest of us about life. And it’s been really cool to be the recipient of that. Absolutely. I know you have been too, and then now to put a microphone up and say, “This is what we’ve learned and this is what the rest of the world can learn from it.”

It’s so true. Okay, so let’s talk about this pretty major announcement that you just made last week. You wrote a book.

I did.

Crazy. Did you feel like that was on your bingo card a few years ago?

No. A mentor told me, it was 2020, I had gone on a sabbatical. I came back and we had started growing ESP into other communities. And he said to me something along the lines of like, “Laura, you need to take this further than you can walk. Right now, communities are changing, but only as fast as you can grow to each community. The rest of the world can also change too. The rest of the world can shift their perspective on people with disabilities. You need to take this further than you can walk. Go speak, go write a book, go do something.” And that really kind of planted the seed for me. And then I started writing stories down here and there, but it really wasn’t until this time last year I started the process, and it is totally different than what I though it was going to be writing a book. It’s nothing that I expected, and I’m very thankful to have gone through the process, but it really makes you respect and appreciate a book when you hold it after going through this process.

Well, and I even remember we were meeting about something, or maybe it was having a meeting prior to London, and you were like, “Yeah, the book is due tomorrow.” Everybody was like, “Okay, the book is due tomorrow. We can’t talk about anything else until submit happens.”

Yes.

And it was such like a, “The book is due tomorrow.” I just remember that.

Yes, because also this isn’t my only job. I’m trying to grow organizations and lead a team of 200 people and build communities and then also meet my deadline. And so yeah, it’s interesting. I wrote 150,000 words and I was contracted with my publisher for 55,000 words. So I essentially, the book that is being published is a third of the book that I actually wrote.

So we could get a part two, a part three

Coming someday. Totally. And it was crushing. I mean, honestly, that was the hardest part, was cutting things out.

Yeah, peeling it back.

And I love the social science and the psychology. And I’ll never forget, my editor was like Laura, when he was taking a lot of that out, and I was like, “Oh, but all that research and all that goodness, and I loved learning it, and other people are going to love learning it.” And he was like, “It’s still in there.” And it informed how you wrote. And so yeah, there might be some extra things. I think I’m going to publish a chapter that I never wrote of a story that really is meaningful to me. But I don’t know, there might be a second or third one just because there’s so much goodness in there.

I know. Okay. So the book is called The Joy Exchange, and you are sharing unconventional human-centered leadership principles that you learned directly from ESP participants, which I think is really great because you’ve even said this book isn’t necessarily for families who have somebody with a disability. It’s for everybody else.

That’s right. That’s right.

Which I think is so great. And then there’s that leadership component in it. Tell me a little bit about the leadership style you outline in the book and the three overarching sections.

Yeah. So I wanted this book to be for me and you, for people outside of the disability community that may feel awkward, may not have experiences. They may have been separated in school from people with disabilities. And it’s all of those lessons that we’ve been talking about that I wanted to be able to hand over the lessons I’ve learned the last 20 years. So it is a leadership and self-help book. So it’s really for anyone. It’s for the 19-year-old. I mean, I took over the organization when I was 19. So I talk about comparison and I talk about the awkwardness of college and finding the best version of myself on the other side of service. So there’s kind of that component. But then it talks about culture and conformity, and it talks about the awkwardness of leadership and what it looks like to lean in, and the humanity around being a leader. In one of the chapters, I talk about a lot of leadership mistakes that I had early on in my career. And I’m the type of person that likes to delegate something and then let people go, forgetting that people really needed me to lean in. They needed me to ask the hard questions. They needed candor and openness. They needed to be reminded what we were doing and what we were building for. And so I made a lot of mistakes, and so it’s all in there. I mean, I completely just kind of let it all out in there. And I think it could be really helpful for the employee who might be new in management and go like, “How do I do this? How do I lean in? How am I a manager and a friend and a leader all in one?” Or even large businesses that want to include people of all abilities in their business. We talk about job of joy and the importance of culture and human touch. I mean, I wrote one chapter about a hug and the science of human touch and how when we went to San Francisco, there was an organization that wanted us to take the hug out.

We were like, “No.”

And I thought about it for a minute and they were like, “It’s not age appropriate.” And I really wrestled with that. And our motto is coffee, hug and joint. So I’m like –

This is part of the whole thing.

This is kind of the shtick here. And it was right after COVID and around. And what I figured out in that process was particularly people of all abilities never lost that human touch. And if you look at every other creature in humanity, they’re constantly touching one another. And we get awkward and weird and we don’t want to touch each other, but it’s really what our minds and our bodies crave. And so yeah, I talk about touch and business as a leader. So it kind of spans everybody. I talk about moms and dads and what it’s like to raise inclusive kids. So I think it can touch a little bit of everybody, but I’m excited to see what other people think.

And I mean, really cool that you’ve had some awesome people endorse the book, Bob Golf, Kirby Smart. What has that meant to you?

Yeah. When you go through this process, the publisher asks you, who do you want to endorse your book? And I mean, ESP has been very fortunate in that it’s kind of been a magnet for some really amazing people. And honestly, one time I heard that faith is looking for evidence of God’s goodness. And I feel like in this book process, that has been the case. This has always been kind of an act of worship. I never really had it on my bucket list to write a book. And I just felt like the Lord was like, “This is the next thing you’re going to do.” And so I was like, “Okay, this is an act of obedience.” And every time I wrote, I would put my hands up. But similarly, I’m like, “Okay, God, who do you want to be a voice? Who do you want to endorse this book?” And so Bob was early in the writing process, Bob Goff was a part of my process, which was really beautiful. And I went to a couple of his workshops and learned from him, and he’s funny and whimsical and just a joy. And Love does a book that he wrote was a huge inspiration to me and a good comp for the Joy Exchange. And then Kirby, of course, so I write a chapter, it’s called The Stage in the book. And I talk about Big Hearts, which is one of our events, and how it brings some of the football players like Aaron Murray and Jake Fromm and some of those guys to volunteer. And so because of that, the football team, the EJ football team has been involved. And Kirby’s just been. We do an event called Bulldogs and Buddies with them, and it’s beautiful to watch that relationship. And one time he said, I said, “Thank you so much for making this a priority.” And he said, “No, Laura, this is a priority for the football team.This is not just something good that we’re doing for ESP. This is important because the football team needs it.” And I think that’s the joy exchange. These players are going thinking that they’re giving and they end up –

Receiving so much. I know. Because that event was maybe what, four weeks ago or three or four weeks ago. It was recent. And I remember after being like, “I want to go. I want to be there.” Because everybody was smiling. Every football player was lifting a kid up, throwing a ball, pushing somebody on a wheelchair. And the joy in every person’s face was just so evident, and it looked like a room that you want to be in.

Yes. Yes. Because that’s what we’re all craving. And I mean, you hit it. And why I called it the joy exchange is we are constantly looking for happiness. We’re constantly searching. Our brains are searching. And really, the research behind it is that joy is looking for someone who is happy to be with you. It is delighting in the person that is right in front of you. And so these football players, they’re exhausted from the practice and Kirby’s been yelling at them. And then you have these humans, people of different abilities who are looking at them with adoration and love, unconditional love, and that’s joy. And then the football players are doing it in return. And so everyone’s smiling and joyful because they’re delighting in one another. It’s fascinating because the right side of our brain is our leader and is our guide. And the left side of our brain understands language right now, but how we are feeling with one another determines our health and our happiness and our oxytocin levels. And that can only happen through a connection.

Totally.

It’s like, I want to be with you right now. You can see it in my eyes. You can hear it in my tone of voice. And that’s what happens on the Big Heart stage. It’s what happens every day at ESP. It’s what happens at Bulldogs and Buddies. And I believe we all have that option, whether you’re with someone with a disability or not. They were the guides. They were the teachers that taught me that. And then the research confirms it. But I think we all have the option to delight in one another and find that joy. We just have to change our brains and our perspectives to actually see it.

Totally. And I think even back to just attending Flagg and just the different events that happen at ESP every day, which is so wonderful that there’s even that opportunity. And it’s just as ESP has been going into different communities and you guys have been talking to new communities about potentially opening another ESP location. It’s like, I’m sure you wish you could just be like, “Trust me, your community needs this.” But even just seeing the gathering together, doing a few chants, the happiness that everybody there gets to experience the volunteers. I mean, you guys have a crazy wait list to be a volunteer at ESP because so many people are just like. I have babysitters who are like, “Oh yeah, I volunteer at ESP.” And I’m like, “Good for you.” It just is such a place.

Because it’s good for them. They want to be there. Yes. They want to be. And I think particularly now in a world that’s constantly looking down, I think it gives all of us, but particularly when you’re 18, 19, 20, an opportunity to put your phone down. And there’s a chapter in the book that everything is exchanged this for that. So it’s a choice that we have. You exchange this for that. And one of them is exchanging hesitation for hospitality. And I think as an 18-year-old, I learned what hospitality looks like. Bright eyes, warmth, happy to see you. At ESP, every individual’s name is known. And they may be dancing, this 18-year-olds may be dancing in a banana costume. You’ve seen them. Crazy dancing. But oftentimes the individuals that we serve have never been warmly welcomed like that. And I talk about how a lot of times hospitality is reserved for the privileged. One time early in my career, a board member gave me and Joseph a trip to the Ritz, and it was the first Ritz experience I had ever. And when I walked in and they were like, “Are you Ms. Whitaker?” I was like-

“Yes!”

“They knew my name.” And then it was the cold towels and the water that is infused with whatever. And I write about the impact of hospitality. And what if we did, with the least of these, what if we did exchange hesitation for hospitality and how we greet one another? And what would the world look like if we chose to extend that level of hospitality to everyone of every ability? And I think these 18-year-olds get to experience and learn that at a really young and impressionable age.

Totally.

Yeah.

And even just, it’s so fun to watch the volunteers just get so into it. You can tell they need it just as much as the participants need it, which is so cool to see because it’s like they’ve left the awkwardness at the door. They’re like, “I’m dancing in this banana costume,” or, “At camp, I’m going to let all these kids put different ice cream and sprinkles, and it’s my birthday, and I’m choosing to be here as a camp counselor, and here’s all this fun that we’re going to get to have.” I just feel like there’s not a lot of places that people can just be themselves and be kids again. And that is something that you guys offer.

Enjoy life. Totally. Truly enjoy. And I think we have that opportunity even when we’re 40 or close to 40 or 50 or 60. We have the opportunity to. I believe that life was meant to be enjoyed.

Totally.

And even Jesus says, “I’ve come to give you life to the full.” And I think sometimes we get in our own way.

For sure.

Because we are awkward or we’re hesitant or we’re comparing ourself to someone else. And at ESP, like you said, I mean, one of the chapters is exchanging awkward for awe. And it’s like the awe on the other side of the awkward that’s the power. Instead of culture says, “It’s awkward, pull back.” You know that emoji? The emoji. And my anthem and what I’ve learned from people of all abilities is it’s awkward lean in. And the awe is on the other side of the awkwardness if you choose to lean into it.

Well, and I’ve even learned that from just being traveling with Liz or Nikki last year, and then Lily and Nikki this year. Sometimes it’s like, “What are we going to talk about? What do I have to say?” And then as soon as you just let that awkwardness go, it’s like, oh, there’s so much to say. There’s so much to talk about. In fact, I just want to listen to you.What do you want to talk about? I mean, I could talk to Nikki all day about hair products, what type of Ziti he’s baking, recipes.

Loves to be in the kitchen.

I mean, I have thought so many times about how I’m going to put the baby carrier on him and just let little girl be in. And I just feel like he’s going to just bounce around.

He has bounced all three of my kids at one point.

Yeah.

Yes, you’re so right. And I think the more, again, and that could be not just people with disabilities, that could also be the awkward coworker. For sure. Or the coworker that’s a couple generations away from us, or the family member that you just don’t have a whole lot in common with. I think we are getting more and more segregated in our individual interests and surrounding ourselves with people that think like us or act like us. And I think this book really gives a different perspective on what your life could look like, your perspective, how enriching it is to surround yourself with people who are different and lean into the awkwardness.

For sure. Okay. Which chapter was the hardest for you to write?

So there is a chapter called The Jump, and it is about our skydiving fundraiser. And you would think the skydiving would be the hard part. It wasn’t. I actually talk about this really remarkable human. His name is Matthew. He has cerebral palsy and he jumps. I think he jumped a total of nine times and has no use of his arms and legs. And it’s what he wanted to do for his 18th birthday. And he actually has a famous dad or a famous grandfather and he gets his grandfather to jump and he gets his dad to jump and he pins him against each other. It’s a great story. But in the story, I talk about momentum and I talk about courage, and it’s exchanging cowardice for courage. And there’s kind of this continuum. There’s cowardice on one side and courage on the other. And most people think courage is like getting up on the stage or jumping out of an airplane. And really what I talk about in that chapter is the challenge that I had in leadership when people didn’t have the same vision that we had. And something humiliating, the most humiliating part of my entire 20 years is in that chapter. And I had to relive it as I was writing it. And I even just feel like I want to throw up even talking about it. But it’s so real and it’s so humiliating. And it was such an important part of. I think anyone who leads anything goes through these processes of feeling misunderstood, goes through a process where they’re like, “It’s not worth it. I’d rather just be the doer. I don’t want to be the leader. I don’t want to be the person in the front.” And then what happened when I essentially told my board chair I quit. And she was like, “No, no, you’re not.” And really it was my husband that was like, “No, you were designed for this and you’re going to get up tomorrow.” And it’s something I read that really inspired me that you’re going to be talked about and you’re going to be gossiped about and people aren’t going to understand. And when you’re in a position of leadership, it is a hard place to be for sure. And I know you understand that people don’t always understand who you are and your heart behind something. And you may not say things the right way and you may make the wrong decisions and I did. So that chapter was excruciating to write, but I think we’ll give the reader For a really fresh and raw perspective of what leadership looks like and what it looked like at the heart of our organization before we really began to grow.

Right. Yeah. Well, and I think there’s probably so many lessons that people can take from just your rawness and realness in a chapter that will be like, “Oh, that a situation happened to me similar to that. If I would’ve done this perspective or maybe I can bounce back from this.” I’m sure there will be some hope that comes along with sharing that part of the story.

I think so. And again, what’s on the other side when you push through it. Or when you choose to listen to the people that are the most important to you, the people that understand or understand the calling or understand the bigger vision. If I would’ve quit that day, we likely would’ve never been in the building that we’re in with the playground that your little girls get to play on. I mean, I think back to that time and I think that is God’s goodness and courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s just waking up the next day and moving forward regardless of what other people think.

Totally.

Yeah.

Is there a moment from the early days of ESP that taught you something about worth or identity that has shaped the way that you parent?

So the first time I walked into ESP, I was 18. I’m the second girl. My older sister was the perfect child. And I love talking to middle children or second girls because I’m just the quintessential second girl. A little louder, a little more rough around the edges, always in trouble. And I remember walking into ESP completely consumed with comparison, just like every other 18-year-old. Who am I? What am I here for? I’m not driving that. I’m not wearing this. I’m not. And walking into ESP, and my very first interaction, I talk about this in the book, was Ruthie. And Ruthie has down syndrome and she has the biggest smile, glasses. She’s one of our jewelrys. And she could care less what I was wearing, what I was driving, who my older sister was. She just looked at me and saw me, and I lost myself while I was there and found myself all at the same time. And I learned through my first couple years that I can teach my kids a lot of things. They’re going to go to school and they’re going to learn a lot of things.

Totally.

But it’s truly them experiencing people and trying out their abilities of where they’re going to truly find themselves. And like I did, I found the best version of myself at ESP and service and doing things outside of school and outside of even church, getting to serve people and be around people is how you can figure out what your abilities are. And they’re different than me. And so I think with my kids, service isn’t like something to put on their transcript. It’s not something to help them look good. It’s not something that we should do because we’re privileged and we’re just. It’s like, no, I want them to find the best version of themselves. I want them to try out the gift of compassion or leadership or sweat. That’s how I found the best version of myself. And so now that’s kind of how I’ve carried it through with my kids. So I want them to find that too.

Yeah. That’s really sweet. And I feel like your kids, you have great kids. My girls would spend all day with Finley if they could.

She’s pretty cool. She’s pretty cool.

She is.

And my son on Saturday, he played a playoff game. He’s in orchestra, playoff game, in AP classes, all that kind of stuff. But the thing I was the most proud of this past weekend after winning a playoff game, taking an AP exam Saturday morning, he works at Chick-fil-A. And by the way, I really believe kids should work early. I started working when I was 13.

Same.

There’s just something similar to service. You are exercising this muscle of interacting with people, working hard. It’s something that’s kind of lost in today’s world. For sure. And people say, “Well, they don’t have time.” Well, Owen’s in AP classes and on the football team and an orchestra too, but he works and he was working at Chick-fil-A, and I went in before I left town, and his manager stopped me. And she was like, “Oh, are you Owen’s mom?” And I was like, “Yeah.” And she goes, “I had to tell you, Owen is one of my favorite employees.” And she said, “He’s so kind and so respectful.” And I told him later, I’m like, “I don’t care what you got on your AP exam, and I’m really proud of you for your playoff game that you won. You’re an amazing tight end. But you know what I’m the most proud of is that you are kind. And how you make people feel, that is what matters to me. And so I think that’s a little bit of what they’re getting at ESP. For sure. I mean, I credit that back to ESP, honestly, not good parenting. It’s just ESP. And the Lord’s goodness through the community that they’ve been raised with. Yeah.

It’s so true though. I mean, I think any type of those comments or compliments that come from people about your kids that you’re just like, oh my goodness, I’m doing something right. Those are the things that raising good humans is so important. That feels like such a win.

And we all want inclusive children.

For sure.

I think that’s something I put in the book. No one sits around and thinks, I want my kid to be the one that excludes the kid with a disability in the lunchroom. But the truth is we as parents don’t know how to talk to our kids. We don’t know how to have the awkward conversations. We don’t know how to talk to our kids about people with disabilities. And so I think that’s one of the reasons I felt so passionate about this book is I want to arm parents to know how to talk to their kids about people with disabilities so they can feel confident to model that.

For sure.

If they see someone in the grocery store or in a restaurant stemming because they have autism, what do you say? How do you interact? How do you communicate? How do you lean in? And I think that’s how we’re going to raise children who are inclusive and kind is by modeling it ourselves. And I think the book can help people learn how to model that.

Yeah. So that leads me into my next question, which you might’ve sort of answered, but how do you hope people are changed by the book?

I think I’m aware enough to know that one book is not going to completely change people’s lives. It’s a book. But I did have one of the early readers. It’s a guy in the business world and he’s a leader and owns his own business. And he called me a couple weeks ago and he said, “Laura, I went to volunteer with ESP at a family dinner and there was a new member there and I felt so awkward.” And he was like, and I could hear the book in the back of my mind saying, “Lean in. Lean in.” There’s all on the other side of awkward. And so he leans in and he meets the member’s parents and he hears their entire story. Then he begins to engage and practice that level of engagement. This member had autism, and he said by the end, he was so blessed and had been given such a gift because this kid became his best friend. And they were attached by the end of it and had celebrated the member’s birthday. And he was like, “Had I had not read your book, I wouldn’t have had that push to lean in.” And so I think that’s my hope. It’s like if it benefits ESP, which it does, 100% of it benefits ESP, I’m thankful for that. But my real hope is there’s somebody in Colorado, there’s somebody in Texas, there’s someone in California who’s never had an experience with someone with a different ability and they want to, and they want to know what to do. And my hope is that they read it, they feel equipped, or even just to lean in with an awkward colleague and they find the goodness on the other side of that. And then that gives them a rep that then they begin to practice. And slowly that habit changes the way that they see people and maybe the way that they value them and who their circles are.

(39:06)
True.

So that’s my hope. Well, and I feel like that even goes back to parenting. Maybe some people don’t feel equipped to have these conversations with their kids, but the reading the book could be a really great starting point

Yes.

Of modeling some of these things so that your kids see the way you are acting around people of different abilities.

Yes.

Or somebody who’s just, there’s so many lessons to be learned from the book. So I really think it will encourage so many people.

I hope so.

It’s very emotional too. So go ahead and pre-order the book and then get a box of tissues to arrive at the same time. Chris, he read an advanced digital copy a few months ago, and he set himself to do one chapter a day. He gets up early and preps for working out. And so he read a chapter a day for a certain amount of days. And he was like, “The amount of times I cried on those days was I was not expecting tears.” And I was kind of like, “Really?” And so to hear, it’s just very emotional and touching, but I think there’s so much that can be relatable in the book.

Yes.

You can think about situations you write about that then it brings the reader like, “Ooh, I’ve done that before,” or, “This is how I could have done that a little differently.” It just tugs on heartstrings. But I think sometimes that’s necessary.

I think so too. And it’s breaking down some of those layers that culture has built for us. And in our emotion, and there’s parts in there you’ll laugh and I make fun of myself. I tell another really embarrassing story you guys will laugh about that has to do with a colonoscopy and running across a football field with my infant in the cleansing process.

Can only imagine where that’s going.

Oh my gosh. But then you’ll cry because it’s so human. This book is just, it’s about the core of humanity and how we want to all interact with one another and believe about each other. And I think it brings us back to our childhood selves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that. I think it’s going to touch so many more lives than we even know or can dream of right now.

I hope so. And I’m excited you’re in the journey with me.

And I mean, there’s kind of some big news coming. You guys are taking the book on the road and the Joy Parade is parading around the country.

No, we don’t do anything typical at ESP, but also what we’ve been talking about, people need to experience it for themselves.

Totally.

I don’t want to sit behind a table and sign a bunch of books. I’m bringing Nikki. Totally. Liz. Lily was coming. So yeah, the Joy Parade, we’re going to bring JavaJoy to multiple cities throughout the United States. Let them sign books, serve coffee, give all the hugs, bring all the joy delight in one another. So we’re really excited to spread the joy, talk about the Joy Exchange, give people a new experience with ESP and JavaJoy and take the joy on the road.

I think it’s going to be so much fun.

Yes.

Also, just the traveling with the Joy Arestas, with JavaJoy, the opportunity I think that that’s going to open up for people who didn’t know what JavaJoy is to come to one of the book meetups and signings and be like, wow, I can get this at my company to have the Joy Arestas come in for a day and serve coffee and give hugs. It’s just going to be really cool for people to see it in action and then learn about the book, learn about ESP. I think it’s just going to be so fun.

Yes, yes. And so I think if anyone’s listening and they want the experience that you and Chris have had and your team, the Joy Parade is the way to do it.

Totally.

Come visit us or come tell us that we need to come to your city or book Job A Joy. Jabajoy can come to any city even outside of the book through our journeys of joy. We would love to come to your company or to your community, but it’s going to be a lot of fun. So I’m excited to take the show on the road. Exhausting, but totally worth it. 2026 is going to be amazing.

It will be so exciting. Okay, so when is the book launching? Can we pre-order now? Tell us all about how to follow along, how to go ahead and secure our copy of this book.

Yeah. So pre-order is happening now between now and February 17th. So I think if you purchase it on Amazon, it says it’s coming to your house February 17th. And what’s important about pre-sale is the more we sell in pre-sale, the more funds go to ESP to keep costs super low for our families. We never turn a family away due to their inability to pay. But also pre-sale is where all the numbers happen. So things like a bestseller list or things like the algorithms and all of that that you know a whole lot about. All of that happens in pre-sale. And then after February 17th, everything is just icing on the cake at that point.

Absolutely.

So we want people to pre-order now. We want them to be a part of it. You can get some fun things. The chapter that I talked about that I didn’t publish, you’ll get that if you pre-sale. We’re going to send some fun artwork and things like that for people that pre-sale. So all of that is on laurahopewhitaker.com.

Perfect.

And I’m sure you’ll add that to the show notes as well.

All of this where you can buy it on Amazon, the details. There’s some really great videos that talk a little bit about the book that we can add in the show notes as well, just so you guys can watch what this whole thing is about. All of that will be available. And I’m just so excited. I think it’s so funny just with ordering the book now, I’ve interviewed several authors over this last season and all of them are like, “The presale is so important. Please pre-order if you can.” And it really does make a huge difference. So absolutely just click out.

And you can bulk by too. If you want to do that, there’s discounts if you bulk buy and some other benefits alongside it as well. So definitely check out laurahopewhitaker.com.

Perfect.

But we’d love to give you guys some pre-stuff along the way.

I love it. Well, thank you so much for talking to our listeners about The Joy Exchange. I cannot wait to get my hard copy in the mail. I’m such a read in your hands book type of girl.

Yes.

But I also know that there’s some really exciting things coming over the next few months with this book that I’ll be able to share with you guys a little bit later. Amazing. So definitely stay tuned. I’m also going to leave Laura’s Instagram handle in the show notes as well because you do a really good job of sharing the behind the scenes of what’s going on at ESP, what’s going on in your life. If you want to just get to know the author a little bit more and get to know the mission, I’ve just enjoy following along. And I’m like, “Ooh, where is she? What’s happening now?” What city is she in? How is Miami with the Joy Ristas? Let me talk to the guys. What’s going on? So you guys can follow along too. And we will also leave the link to donate to ESP if you feel led. Again, all of the proceeds and everything goes straight to helping families with disabilities just be loved and loved on. And it’s just an amazing mission. So very happy to be a part of it.

Thank you for being a part. And I do have to say your family and your business is so amazing. The last part of the book is like, what does it look like to love God and love your neighbor? And I think you guys do that so well. You take what you’ve been given and you give and you figure out a way to love your neighbor. So it’s been really fun to do this life with you. This feels like what we do anyway. I know. Just sit here and have a conversation. This is recording. We’re just recording it now. Yes, exactly. We’re just recording it. But it’s an honor to do life with you and with your girls, and just really excited for you to bring another girl into the world.

I know. So crazy.

And let her grow up as a beautifully inclusive little human.

Yes.

So love you a lot.

Can’t wait. Love you too. Thanks for joining me today. All right, friends, until next time. Hi friend. If you’re loving the show, will you go find that follow button on your podcast app? This will ensure that you won’t miss a single episode. I love having you in this community. Until next time. This season of Life with Loverly is produced by Elizabeth Evans Media Productions.