Brittany: Hi friends. Welcome to the Life with Loverly podcast. I’m Brittany, a wife, mom, and lifestyle entrepreneur here to help you discover your best daily style and encourage you to try new things when getting dressed each day, I took a tiny following on social media and turned it into a community of over 1 million amazing women, and I am so glad you’re here. I’ll be sharing my heart with you beyond the 15 seconds on Instagram. So we’ll be diving into things like personal growth, friendships, motherhood, marriage, and of course the business of blogging. Really, this space is here to serve as your go-to resource to building a life you adore while sprinkling some kindness to others along the way. Grab an iced coffee and let’s do life together. I’m Brittany, and this is The Life with Loverly podcast.

Brittany: Hi friends. Welcome back to the Life with Loverly podcast. I’m so excited for today’s episode because I got to sit down with the brilliant women that started Moms on call. Laura Hunter and Jennifer Walker. Moms on call offers books, online courses, products, and personalized consulting for parents. For the first four years of their children’s life, I have personally implemented a lot of their suggestions and systems with both of my girls, so I wanted to sit down and bring their knowledge to you today As pediatric nurses, the women were taking after hour patient calls for a busy Atlanta pediatric practice. Then one day it clicked to proactively give parents a simple, easy to follow guide to address their most common questions and concerns. Today, moms on-Call Resources have helped over 1 million moms and dads across the world parent with confidence as they discover the joys of the first four years. This conversation is fun, insightful, and full of laughter. Here’s my conversation with Laura and Jennifer. Hi friends. Welcome back to today’s episode of The Life with Loverly podcast. I have an amazing episode for you guys. Today we are interviewing Laura and Jennifer from Moms On Call. Hi, how are y’all? We are great.

Jennifer: We’re so excited to be here because we’re equally as excited. I think

Laura: We’re, we’ve been in this relationship through social media realms for years now.

Brittany: I know Collin Is six. So how does that, six years ago is when this started for me and it is wild.

Laura: It is crazy. Look that you’re right here. I know. In our backyard.

Brittany: I know. So you guys are from Atlanta. For those of you guys who didn’t know Mom’s on Call was started in Atlanta. Okay. Y’all were pediatric nurses. Tell me a little bit about your background and how you guys met.

Jennifer: Oh, wow. Laura tells this story so beautifully every time we met at a busy pediatric practice and we were both pediatric nurses and I had a set of twins that were about a year old, and Laura found out, I think on the day you found out you were going to have twins. They were three and four in the lineup. You had two girls, this is going to be three and four. It was a surprise. You came back to work as a sheet.

Laura: Still a surprise. Yes. Still.

Jennifer: And you’ve looked at me. I don’t even think you remember much day.

Laura: I have no idea what happened that day.

Jennifer: Yeah. You looked at me and you said, can you help me? And we have talked every single day since. But one of the pediatricians that we worked for, because we took call for really busy pediatric practice, and I’m talking hundreds of phone calls every week. Laura worked 90 hours. I worked the rest of those weekends, nights. We knew what parents were worrying about at every hour and when the doctors said, why don’t you go into the home in your free time with all these kids and help these parents know what to worry about, what not to worry about, because we cut the same questions over and over again. It was about fussiness, it was about feeding. And so Laura bravely went first and we made a little notebook, her little purple notebook that we started out with and we’re just going to help people at our practice.

Laura: And on a note, I had, I don’t know, maybe three years ago, I get this package in the mail and it is the purple folder that was the pre font. And this long note, her daughter was 16 years old. And so on her 16th birthday, she wrote me this sweet, sweet note about how this folder changed her life. And I’m like, no, I got to send this back. You got to have this baby shoulda. And they do use that. It’s so Incredible

Jennifer: We never imagined in our wildest dreams. We just prayed for the strength to walk through every door that opened and they opened so miraculously so quickly because what we wanted to do was just help parents. We wanted to take that anxiety away and answer their questions and give them back what belonged to them, which was the confidence of being able to make decisions on behalf of this child or children that you had. We’ve done the second baby, the fifth baby. We keep getting called back several at once. Yeah. We thought we’d just keep it at this practice, but they have friends and they have friends, and then all of a sudden it was my cousin in North Carolina and can you do and can you go? And so we sat at a Starbucks one night with this folder knowing that we had something that was incredibly helpful. We had just gotten feedback that was unbelievable. We would call each other every day. Do you remember that?

Laura: Oh, yeah. Because we didn’t set out to be known as a sleep method. And I know that’s what we’re known for, but that was not our intention.

Brittany: There’s so much more.

Laura: Our intention was, oh, we’re going to come in and we’re going to show you what to worry about, what not to worry about, and here’s some feeding information and here’s the routine we’re doing in our house. And

Jennifer: Literally at that time, we’re literally doing this with you.

Laura: And but what we quickly found out that the sleep was a byproduct of the confidence that we were bringing into the house. And we’re like, what? Another one, wait, what babies were coming off of reflux medicine because they were getting the digestive rest that they needed. Right? All the things were coming together, but at the core of that was the confidence that parents had. And I think that was such a huge piece of the puzzle that was missing in a world that the confidence was so shaken because of all the voices. And it’s more true now than it even was back then. But yeah, that folder I went to Kenny Rogers house. I went with Kenny and Wanda and their twins, so it’s all crazy. And I guess that was 19 years ago. I think the boys are 19 now, and went out and got ready to leave and Kenny was flipping through my folder and he says, it’s not copyrighted. He says, it’ll be copyrighted tomorrow morning. And his attorneys from Nashville were calling the next morning.

Jennifer: We didn’t know, but his advice was the best. So this is a hundred percent Kenny Rogers. He said, Laura, there’s a few things in this world worth throwing a few darts, but if you don’t throw a few darts, you can’t ever hit a bullseye. And this is worth throwing a few darts for.

Laura: This is worth great throwing a few darts for.

Jennifer: So these are our darts. We threw ’em. Here we are.

Brittany: Wow. I guess I did not realize that. He was kind of like a very, yeah. The beginning there.

Laura: No doubt. No doubt.

Brittany: So when you would go into these homes, what was that process like?

Laura: It was so fun. It’s still the most fun thing that we do. So the best person that has ever described what that was like was Coach Dane Robinson. Yes. And he tells the story all the time and it’s like, no, Laura walked in and it was like this was her house and she just took over and took the baby. And the next thing we know, we’ve got a baby that’s been bathed and swaddled and put down and we don’t even know what happened. And I think that’s what it is. We really come in for the in-home consults. We come in and kind of lay that foundation. So we are starting with those basics like how to do a bath the way we like to do it. You can do it the way you like to do it, but we show you how we like to do it. So we do a bath, we clip nails, we suction noses, we show you how to put a diaper on because it’s not as easy as you think.

Jennifer: There’s a trick to it.

Laura: There is a trick to it.

Jennifer: What is that trick?

Laura: Flailing out all that elastic we have.

Jennifer: Yeah. So you can see them momsoncall.com, but there’s a trick for keeping the poop on the inside, which is all we want to do.

Brittany: Exactly.

Jennifer: That’s it. But they’re packaged so tightly together that the inner little elastic, it just glues itself down. And a very simple maneuver of releasing that inner elastic can be life-changing. So that’s just a tip to get started. Go ahead Laura.

Laura: Do the diapers and then we’re swaddling and putting them down. But then that’s where our consultant and the parents get to sit down face-to-face, pull out that book and go through that book together talking about the reality of the day-to-day. Because whether you’re a mom’s on call family or not, nothing is perfect from day to day. We have bumps in the road and things are chaotic and it’s crazy, but where are the reset points? What can we do to keep a few benchmarks in place? And so we go through what does the flow of the day look like?

Brittany: Yes.

Laura: We go through those routines. We talk about whether you’re nursing or doing bottles or both

Brittany: Right.

Laura: Or having to start one and go to another. What does that look like? And so we walk through all of those things right alongside with the family. And that’s where I think the confidence comes in because we get ahead of it before it happens to the best of our ability.

Jennifer: And then that grew. And so we originally just did zero to six months, and then all of those people grew and they wanted more. So then we did six to 15 months. And then toddlers. And so we have an incredible collection of resources for toddlers. We have the smart paradigm, which tells you how your toddlers designed to help you to understand why one kid may not respond the same way as the other one for some of your disciplinary techniques or just in general. And that’s the smart paradigm. Social movement and engineer, rule, follower and touch. Those are the primary motivators for toddlers. So we’ve been able to grow with our clients and help them to be able to really set those foundational elements, not just for sleep, not just for feeding, although those are two really big ones. But then for tantrums and potty training and really establishing a household that is sustainable throughout some of these really challenging times that can make you feel really isolated sometimes. And so that’s really satisfying to help parents ultimately recognize that their kids are strong, adaptable, and resilient. That is the best job in the world.

Brittany: Well, and it’s so interesting. I remember following the schedule to a tee and then maybe a day comes where we’re traveling, so we’re thrown off or something happens throughout the day and we can’t get to bedtime at a certain time, but I know as soon as I start bath bed bottle that is going to get them back in. Okay, this is wine down time. This is goodnight time. And even still to this day, I mean, we do bath time and then read and go to bed, and that’s just part of their life routine at this point.

Laura: I can remember my teenage boy coming in at 15 and still having some semblance of what we were doing for so many years of their life where it’s like, oh, climb up in the bed after his shower and he’s telling me about his day and the good stuff and the not so great stuff, and what do we have to work out? And he was 15.

Brittany: Right. But its was like that connection

Laura: its the connection that’s being built been, and it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t chaotic. Right. I had four of my five were under five. My husband traveled. My husband traveled a ton. I didn’t have nannies and night nurses. I was it.

Brittany: Right

Laura: I’m on the phone talking to a mom who’s got a kid who’s vomiting. While I’m trying to make sure my kids aren’t drowning in the bathtub. I mean this hands-on time of my life, but I wouldn’t trade it. I found a way to make it work, which meant bringing diapers and pajamas and toys into my master bathroom, and I’m putting all four kids in there so I don’t lose somebody. while I’m doing the bath for the other kids. It was chaotic and it was loud, but it is the best memories that I have. And there’s just something so sweet about that bedtime routine. And that is the most important thing. Often I do a ton of virtual consults now, and one of the main things I’m like, look, I don’t care if you do moms on call or you don’t. You are a great parent where you are right in the middle of the chaos, but do this. If you don’t do anything else, do this. Set that time apart from bath time until you put your kids to bed. Be intentional.

Brittany: Yup.

Laura: Set away the phones. Don’t answer another email, don’t answer another text message, but be intentional because as this little one gets older, this is where their heart is open to instruction. This is where you are going to have the opportunity to speak into who your kid is. And if you don’t do it, the world will. And that’s unacceptable. I want the voice that’s being spoken over my children to be mine.

Brittany: Totally.

Laura: And I think so often.

Jennifer: And to be filled with hope. Her voice is the first voice of hope that your child ever hears. So we want to schedule that in literally. We want to make sure that it happens.

Laura: Because life is crazy. Yes. We’ve got kids that are, I had one that was a swimmer, right? Don’t let your kids swim.

Jennifer: unless you’re a morning person.

Laura: I’m just saying, everybody is in 10 different directions. So if we’re not intentional, time has a way of getting away from us. And it’s not that every single night we’re going to be able to do this. Right. Totally. Because we have late dinners, we’re at a friend’s house or it’s a beautiful day as we’ve had this whole week. And so it doesn’t have to be that way every day, but it’s a priority to us as a family that we’re going to set this time apart

Jennifer: And it’s not always magical. So having to twin boys for sure. I remember reading them books and thinking, can we get through one night where they’re not trying to eat the books or throw the books? We could actually read the whole book from start to finish. So the tender and tender time is relative to where you are in life and what kind of kids you got. And we had help that night, right?

Laura: Yes. We had one of our consultants do this sweet, sweet, sweet video this week about her bedtime routine. So dad was taking care of the two older kids and she had time with this little sweet 10, 12 week old and was showing the bath and then the feeding and snuggle time and swaddling and putting them down.

Jennifer: And one of our favorite phrases, I love you. I believe in you, and I’ll see you when the sun comes up.

Brittany: That’s so sweet.

Laura: Oh my gosh. And then we post that make people mad, and then we get three or four people who are like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe that. That’s so funny. And just a lot of judgment that came against this video that was just her reality for that night. That doesn’t mean every night that this is what she does to try and have that reset of the chaotic day. And we’re all in this together. So I’m commenting back, guys, we’re on the same team here. Come on.

Brittany: We don’t have to get upset about this.

Laura: We do not. This is just a sweet routine.

Brittany: Well, sometimes people get frustrated that that’s they not their reality and that’s not their reality, and they might not know how to get to that reality. And so it feels like

Laura: That is true. That’s where we want to be like, call me. Reach out to, I promise I’ll help you. I’ll help you get it. And I think I personally told each of those people, come on, send me your info. If this is not your reality,

Jennifer: but you want it to be.

Brittany: Right.

Jennifer: And we are happy to help.

Jennifer: Yes. I remember when I was raising the twins, one of my twins made the homecoming court and the other one didn’t. And people would be like, oh, how’s the other one taking that? I would be like, he’s taking it great. Because in our family, a win for one of us is a win for all of us. And so if there’s any message, and typically at moms on call, we really have the most generous and the kindest people who follow us. But the overall theme for us has always been, even in motherhood, a win for one of us is a win for all of us.

Brittany: Totally.

Jennifer: And that does help. It gives you permission to do things the way that you do them in your house with the kids you have at this time, which may be different. We talk about that even with feeding. Am I going to breastfeed? Am I going to bottle feed? Am I going to do both? It might change depending on your situation where your kids are right now. For Laura number five,

Laura: He was my formula only baby because the twins were 18 months old when Brent was born, and he was six weeks early. And so I was like, there is no way I’m going to teach him how to nurse with twin 18 month old boys at home. It ain’t happening. It’s not. And I nursed all the others. It ain’t happening.

Laura: And so he went straight to, he turned out just fine.

Jennifer: Oh, he’s going to cure kids in outer space. I have said this.

Laura: He turned just fine, none of my kids probably know who was nurse, and who wasn’t. And he loves his mom.

Brittany: There’s that connection. Regardless, I am going back to just that sweet nighttime routine. I feel like Collins is kind of getting to the age where I could be like, okay, here’s how you take a shower, wash your hair on your own, start doing that. And I just haven’t pushed it yet because it’s just such a sweet special time where they love to just play in the bath together and play games and just their little sister talk 16 months apart happens. And then I’ve set my phone down and I’m like, we are doing, I’m talking back and forth with them and then bedtime, and it is just a reset for our night, even just for me to be able to just step away and spend that quality time with them, it’s so sweet. So I love y’all’s advice around just continuing that as they get older too.

Jennifer: Well, when we think about what you have to look forward to, so when Laura talks about as they get older, and it doesn’t matter if they’re boys, if they’re girls, they all desire that connection. That is a human desire. And when we provide it on purpose

Jennifer: In that way, then yes, we can let them sleep and we can let them nap. And it just helps us to be able to order our day for the things that are truly important. And so I love to hear that that is what you gleaned from it. It just thrills us Every time we hear that, every time a family sends us their nighttime routine and we hear these little toddlers going, oh, listen to mommy and daddy, don’t hurt, hurt ourselves and we don’t hurt others. Why? Because we’re McCreary and McCreary’s are good to people, whoever it is that’s sending us this video. And you think, what an incredible generation to be able to speak into their lives so clearly and positively, and what is this generation going to be able to do when they have support built into their everyday life from the beginning?

Brittany: I love it.

Jennifer: From before they can even understand English when they are babies

Brittany: Yeah, that is so true.

Jennifer: We built it in.

Brittany: Yeah. That’s so great. Okay, so how long after you guys created moms on call, did you continue with the pediatric facility before you guys both went full-time with moms on call?

Jennifer: Well, I begged Laura to sleep for so many years. Well, you just stopped what yesterday?

Laura: Pretty much. I was on call 90 hours a week taking to 300 phone calls a week for almost 20 years. So I actually just retired from that about six years ago. So no, I was still on call all those years while creating a business and consulting and helping families around the world, which is so crazy amazing.

Jennifer: And being an amazing friend.

Brittany: Yeah, a lot of hats that you have worn over the last several years. How has it been working as a career nurse but then also running a business? I mean, those are both two very full-time jobs. Not to mention another full-time job as a mom, but merging all of that, we have so many listeners who they might not be in this exact same area, but they’re doing so many different things. They’re starting a side hustle, they’re momming, they’re working, and they’re trying to mesh it all. Do you guys have any advice on what worked for y’all?

Laura: And I would say, yeah, we didn’t take business classes in nursing school, right?

Jennifer: but we were moms.

Laura: But we were moms.

Jennifer: So one of the great things was we don’t have time to pour over this decision. This is the decision we’re making. This, this, this.

Laura: We didn’t sit in the middle of the decision making very often, and we also relied heavily on the people who did know about those things. Like Kenny Rogers, I could call him and say, Hey, this business proposition came across what you think about this? And so leaning into the people that were brought to us to help us navigate a lot of those business decisions, and then we were able to come together and say, okay, well this feels right. This doesn’t feel right. Let’s do it this way. And then making the decisions and walking through that and it wasn’t always the right decision. And then we’d be like, oh yeah, nope, that was bad. I’ll take that one. That’s on me. That’s on me.

Brittany: I’ve had a few of those in this in my business too, where I’m like, Ooh, you shouldn’t have done it like that.

Laura: Nope. Shouldn’t have done it like that. Backtrack.

Jennifer: We’re talking about this just today though. One of the, I think really core things that we did was we each experienced this journey a little bit differently, and I curated it one way and Laura curated it one way, and we both knew how the other person wanted to experience that. And so we protected that for each other. And I think that that has kept us not only great business partners, but also really great friends, which is hard through all the ups and downs and digital technologies change. It’s unreal to keep up with that.

Brittany: Oh my goodness.

Jennifer: And for Laura and I to look at each other and say, what is our bandwidth and does this do what we set out to do? And what we set out to do is help each person that’s brought into our path to the best of our ability. Does it do that? Then we can go onto the other questions.

Jennifer: So the best of my ability, her ability, two different things. I think she may be a robot. I don’t know. She didn’t sleep for half of her life. She’s sleeping great. Amazing. And our team is amazing, and they just have such amazing hearts and different skills and talents and all of those come together. And I think you can get lost in feeling like you’re the only one that knows the way forward and everything depends on you.

Brittany: Totally.

Jennifer: And that’s not at all true. And we have saved each other. I don’t know how many times over. Over and over.

Brittany: Yeah. Well, I think something I hear as you’re saying that too is just how important having a vision is and being aligned with what your vision is and then having values for your company that it’s kind of like if everything else is going crazy or some things aren’t working, it’s going back to what are those core values? Let’s get back to that. I mean, just in pre-production, we were talking about sometimes you just have to get back to the basics and that can be applied in so many areas of life in your family and your business and friendships and work and just how important it is that if you have a reset, that’s okay. You can always move forward from that

Laura: When you have a good foundation, right? You’ve got to know what your foundation is built on. What is that truth? And I think when you go back to what the truth is, then you can move forward through all the crazy chaotic things and missteps and wonderful things and explosions and whatever.

Jennifer: I think about when we were saying you’re the first voice of hope that your child ever hears, but what if you could also be the voice of hope that you hear?

Brittany: True.

Jennifer: So what if you’re kind to yourself when you make those missteps and such a kind way for you to say that when you’re like, well, it’s okay to pick up. And I think when somebody sees such a beautifully curated everything, that it took so much time and so much effort and some failures to get there, they can forget. And each one of us, I think vulnerably can say, there was so much that went into this, and if I could go back and be nice to that girl that was building all this a hundred times over and raising kids and sometimes covered in vomit and get a shower, your purse spills and the dog has to go to the dog ophthalmologist. You’re like, what is happening to my life? And those moments that they strengthen you, those weren’t the bottom of the barrel. Totally. That’s when you think that you may be the least important thing to your kids or the least valuable, that’s when you’re the most they know. You show up and you’re there and they see these things and they see how life goes. So if you want to be an influence on how they may speak to themselves one day, speak to yourself kindly.

Brittany: You have to set that example to them, yeah it’s so true. It really is.

Jennifer: And it’s hard for us. I think as women, we like to go to bed and think, okay, what are the five things I did wrong? How might I have messed this up? Instead of, what are five wins that I had today? Right. Go to bed feeling good about what you did.

Brittany: Totally. I think if, yeah, there was a series at my church a few months ago and it was talking about just being grateful. And the pastor suggested every morning when you wake up, write down three things that you’re grateful for or do it before you go to bed at night. But I always love that idea of just either starting the day with a grateful heart or ending the day with a grateful heart and kind of makes you reflect back on even if the day was really crappy and it felt hard finding something in there that was like, you know. Okay, that was a really big positive, and all of that other stuff that was hard happened, but we made it through.

Jennifer: Some days we got fed.

Laura: Excellent.

Brittany: Basic needs were met.

Laura: That’s it. That’s it. We didn’t leave anybody at the grocery store. Fantastic.

Brittany: Was there ever a service or a resource that you guys created that did not work?

Laura: Let’s think through that.

Jennifer: It did not work.

Laura: No.

Jennifer: Was there a flop? Did we forget what it was because we have so many things to do?

Laura: I think the technology piece is probably the biggest thing, because when we first made the book, we were like, well, you can’t write in words how to clip nails, so how are we going to make this book like a consult and be able to demo things?

Brittany: yeah.

Jennifer: Again, before the internet we didn’t have phones yet.

Laura: Most houses still had to be videotapes.

Brittany: Yeah.

Laura: We’re like, well, we can’t put that with the book. So it was right when DVD players were starting to come out, and so the youth pastor came and videoed us doing baths and putting diapers on and clipping nails,

Jennifer: With bad haircuts.

Laura: Oh my gosh. Bad haircuts.

Brittany: You need to find some of this.

Laura: Gosh, it’s not happening.

Jennifer: oh I’ll find it.

Laura: No. And peel and stick those DVDs and put ’em in the back of our books.

Jennifer: our kids did that when they’re like eight years old.

Laura: And so we were peeling and stickin

Brittany: like lets earn some allowance.

Jennifer: One of them went into shipping just because from our basement

Laura: All those years. And so I think then transitioning from that to all the digital stuff, so we were actually one of the very first online courses that were not court mandated.

Jennifer: for parents.

Laura: We That’s so funny. We went down to the American Safety Council to tape our online courses, and it was one of the very first recent, and when I tell you primitive, I am talking blue screen.

Brittany: Yes!

Laura: Bubble letters. Do you?

Jennifer: I remember the bubble letters,

Laura: PowerPoint. You hear me? And I mean, I think we probably sold like $60 a month of those classes. It was great. By the time we gave them theirs and gave us ours, we were so proud of that. $60.

Jennifer: I want us to reach people everywhere. One of the things I think that we didn’t recognize was the reach of it. We talked at the beginning, oh, I have my cousin who lives in North Carolina. I remember getting an order from the United Arab Emirates at one point, and I’m like, are we allowed to mail things here? We don’t even know if we can do that.

Brittany: Right.

Jennifer: And now we have clients. I have clients in Thailand who have clients in Australia.

Laura: All over the world.

Jennifer: All over the world. I get to talk to people all over the world and we take all of that knowledge and we try and simplify it, and we try and put it into whatever digital technologies that we can so that there is a positive voice that is going out in every place that parents are looking for information.

Laura: So I think keeping up with technology is kind of the hard part.

Brittany: Totally.

Laura: It’s like the second you get the apps going and it works well, then it changes. And now you need to beef that up again. And so then it’s back to the drawing board and just trying to pull the people that are really well at that.

Brittany: Yeah.

Laura: I would say the technology piece is one of the harder pieces.

Jennifer: Maybe we should involve the toddlers that were helping. They’re very good with technology right?

Brittany: It’s so funny. I feel like my kids, they will swipe up on a message that comes through and I’m like, how do you even, you know that? Or they’ll always be like, mom, what’s your phone number? And I’m my phone number, but they mean my unlock screen number. And I’m always like, you don’t need to know. like, we’re not doing that. But I’m just like, it’s so funny what they, yeah, it’s wild.

Jennifer: And we think all the time, we ask each other all the time, so we don’t know what is coming next or around the bend, but how can we keep this voice afloat

Brittany: yeah

Jennifer: The next generation and the next generation? How can we put something good out into the world if we have the opportunity to do it?

Brittany: For sure.

Jennifer: And these are the talks that we have with our tiny but mighty team and with each other. And so it’s really fun to be able to do that.

Brittany: Totally.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Brittany: Well, I think you do it even just having, it’s really like the moms who it worked for who just pass it to their friends who are having kids. Word of mouth. I know people who give your book with a little something at baby showers that’s like, here is like,

Laura: This is all you need.

Brittany: They say there’s babies aren’t born with a guide, but the next best thing is mom’s on call. I like, that’s true. This is the closest thing to a guide you’ll get.

Jennifer: And we did that worked hard. Keep it very simple. They wanted us to make that first book, 365 pages so it won’t sell if it’s, Yeah. And we were like, no, we talk to parents every day. They don’t want that. They don’t get a shower. It’s a shower or reading this make it outline format as simple as possible.

Brittany: It’s so true. I mean, my first copy is just dogeared and it would go from one room to the next room. I’d be like, bring the book upstairs. What does it say in this? I love it. Yeah. It’s beautiful.

Laura: And I envision isn’t that that book would be handed down grand babies one day?

Brittany: How cool will that be?

Brittany: I know. What is the beauty of it? What are some things that your parents did when you guys were growing up that you still do with your family today?

Laura: Mine is cooking. It’s absolutely the tradition.

Jennifer: She’s such a good cook,

Brittany: Man. You are cooking. You have a lot of really good skills.

Laura: Cooking. So I would say that the mealtime and cooking and food was just such a grounding piece of my childhood for sure.

Jennifer: I would say we kept the generations together so my kids didn’t just have to answer to me. They had to answer to their grandparents and their aunts and uncles, and we met frequently. But the one thing, my mom is going to listen to this, she’s so wonderful. She kept trying to tell me every time this was her best advice and she loved us. She was like, what we would do is we get all of your toys and then we take half of them and put them away in the attic, and then six months later we just switch ’em out. And you thought you had all new toys every six months you forgot about them. And I just remember her telling me to do it that way. She’s a smart women.

Brittany: I like that idea. I might take my kids up and try that method in our playroom.

Jennifer: Right. Save you a lot of money.

Brittany: Right. Truly. Okay. So I know balance isn’t attainable, but how do you find your version of balance between motherhood and running a business?

Laura: I love that. I love that. We had listened at a conference one time and she was talking about balance and that there’s no such thing as balance because if things are balanced, then nothing has a hundred percent of you. So everybody’s just getting a little piece, a little piece. It’s all spread out amongst everything.

Jennifer: and there’s no pieces left for you

Laura: and there’s no pieces left. And so one of the big things was shifting from balancing to prioritizing. So as a business owner, there are absolutely times of the day that the business has to be a priority. It doesn’t mean in case of an emergency, but for the most part, for these hours, my business is a priority. And then when I get home, now my family becomes the priority and I can be a hundred percent in for them. And having that perspective was huge in my parenting world.

Jennifer: yes, and I would have to say, your kids don’t know the difference. So we often compare ourselves to an imaginary perfect parent that they should have. And they’ll only turn out good if they have this imaginary version of me that does everything. And just to consistently say no, when you’re there and you are there, you’re theirs, can you be a working mom and still be a great parent? Yes. Shout out to my sister. She’s an amazing parent. And she also worked for the Florida legislature as a lawyer for so many years doing very important things both at home and her son knew she’s mine. So they don’t have that picture of someone else or something else. What they know is you and they love that. And so I think that’s a good part. And then also we could lean into each other. So we built it together. And I think that being able to share those responsibilities as well. Laura was sick. I could pick up if I’m sick, she can pick up. And so I think as moms oftentimes we need a little village support.

Brittany: Oh my goodness.

Jennifer: Like-minded, amazing people that’ll celebrate.

Brittany: So true. My best friend and her husband and family live next door to us, which is the best thing ever.

Laura: Love that.

Brittany: And oftentimes on the weekends we will just pretty much from start to finish, we’re hanging out, we’re cooking meals together, our kids are doing something, somebody’s running two of the kids somewhere. And we often say, this is how parenting was meant to be, to be. And if you think about back when villages and the saying of it takes a village, everybody is supporting in certain ways. And they recently, I guess almost a year and a half ago had a baby. And so we kind of stepped in and helped pick up some slack with their other kids. And there’s been so many times that it’s like that has been so important to be able to have somebody you can lean on that you trust, that you love. And I just think it’s so important to find that and so important.

Laura: I love that.

Jennifer: And sometimes that exists. If you don’t have that, sometimes that exists in your own family. Yeah, absolutely. So that was making me think of when a lot of our clients will bring that new baby home and they’re so afraid now, I cannot make the world revolve around my toddler. Is that going to ruin them? Are they going to get resentful? And no, you brought home the best thing that ever happened to them, an entire other human being to love them.

Jennifer: And so they get to see what a family looks like when they work together to meet the needs of the youngest and the weakest member. And it’s such a beautiful thing to offer them, but it’s all about in that perspective. Oftentimes when we bring that baby home, we act like we’re bringing home a disease. Like, oh, you’re going to hate this.

Brittany: It’s scary.

Jennifer: Regardless of how you brought that child home, they adjust. It’s so wonderful. So I love that you have people that can do that with you. So not only did that family get to pay attention to the baby, but their toddler got to play with your kids and with other adults.

Brittany: It’s so true.

Laura: See how this works. How does community works? And that’s where it starts.

Brittany: Totally.

Laura: With our next door neighbor.

Brittany: Yeah, so true. Well, we asked some of our listeners and our followers on our Instagram account if they have questions for you. And I will say one of the most submitted response was just people saying, can you please give them a hug and tell them thank you. They saved my life. They changed my life.

Laura: That’s the best.

Brittany: So many people

Laura: it’s still mind boggling.

Jennifer: I love that much.

Laura: We’re just mom.

Brittany: Yeah.

Laura: With a folder.

Brittany: Well, it’s funny, one of the girls in our office, which she has submitted a story question that I’ll read at the end before y’all walked in. She’s like, I feel like Taylor Swift and Travis Kel are about, that’s the level of celebrity that she puts you guys at.

Jennifer: I’m definitely Taylor Swift.

Brittany: She was like, they’re about to be here. And I’m kind nervous sweating.

Jennifer: no, it’s because I have the oufits with the sequence.

Laura: That’s true.

Brittany: I know. But she was just so excited that you were coming into the building today, which, but we have a few questions from some of our readers and our listeners that are asking for some advice. So let me get into this. The first question I have are, what are your top five favorite items for newborns?

Laura: The mom’s on calls, bottle blanket and practice. Practice, practice. And a lot of times s swaddling is such a huge piece of the puzzle and it matters more for some kids than others. So definitely, definitely get a really good swaddle and technique for that. Swaddle. I think that is absolutely one of the best top five. Of course, the zero to six month book. So that’s two.

Jennifer: We would recommend that. That’s our favorite of the books.

Laura: If you’re going to nurse, you want to make sure that you have a really good nursing pillow that will actually lift up so that you’re not hunching over.

Jennifer: And the bottles,

Laura: if you’re doing bottles. Bottles, yeah, we’ll keep that with three. So three a good nursing pillow. And if you’re doing bottles, make sure you have old fashioned bottles. Just regular shape nipples. Nothing fancy. We find those work the best number.

Jennifer: Oh, they us look like magic when someone has feeding problems. Yeah, we switch ’em over. Number four would be this white noise machine.

Brittany: Oh man. Yes. that is, yes.

Laura: a good quality white noise machine

Brittany: I agree.

Jennifer: Yes. And you can get the one on the go. I love the one that you can take with you too.

Brittany: We have that. Yep. I take it with me when I travel.

Jennifer: Yeah, it’s Great. It gives them something familiar in all of their sleep environments. Oh, you know what else that we love though, that was created because they were a moms on call client and they traveled a lot was the

Laura: Slumber pod.

Jennifer: Slumber pod.

Brittany: Oh my goodness. yes!

Jennifer: Have them play with the top so that they could make it dark.

Laura: Yeah. I’d say those five things, six things would be great to start with.

Brittany: Perfect.

Laura: You don’t need a whole lot.

Brittany: You really don’t. And I mean, you guys say that in the book. There’s like, here are the few things that are going to,

Laura: You don’t need a whole lot.

Brittany: Well, and people have baby showers and people want to bring gifts, and you just all of a sudden fill a nursery with stuff that you don’t end up even using.

Laura: Yes. Yep.

Laura: Keep it simple.

Brittany: Exactly.

Laura: Keep it simple.

Brittany: Okay, this question says, how do I modify for a preemie? She is seven weeks early.

Laura: Love, love, love that question. So my twins were eight weeks early, so we actually came up with a preemie progression cheat sheet. So it’s down five times fast, can barely say it once. And it’s a free download on the website.

Brittany: it’ll put a link that.

Laura: so it help you map up, map out how you can transition through those routines. But even with a preemie, they need to rest and they need to eat.

Laura: Those are the two big, big, big things. So getting on a routine right from the get-go is great, and they’ll be eating about every three hours. Typically the NICU gets ’em on that routine for you, and you’ll just continue to feed them at the same time every single day. Now, which routine you’re on, the preemie progression cheat sheet will help you with that. But typically just as a general rule, in the absence of severe medical issues, about a 50% grace period of how early they are is sufficient. So with this little one, instead of treating them as if they’re seven weeks early, so let’s just say this baby is seven weeks old and she was seven weeks early, she’s probably not acting like a brand new baby. She’s probably acting more like three or four weeks old. And so having that grace period allows you to be able to transition a little slower if you need to.

Jennifer: And that’s really true for all babies. And I think one of the misconceptions of mom’s on call is you have to do everything when the clock strikes two. You are doing this and there’s this great grace period, 15 minutes on either side.

Jennifer: We have crazy days written into each schedule. So if the day just completely goes off the rails, like you mentioned, we live in Atlanta, can I drive my car out to go 10 minutes away and it take an hour and a half? Absolutely. Can I predict that? No, I cannot. So we have that built in. We recognize that everything’s not always going to go according to schedule. So we build it in so we can maintain the things that are really helpful to all night sleep. So we’re getting that. We’re still kind of hitting that little 24 hour clock that even preemies have, and we’re utilizing that to help keep things pretty consistent for them as reality allows. yeah.

Brittany: Love that. Okay. This question says, can I follow the schedule on the go on baby number three and I can’t stay home?

Laura: Yes, yes. Because I had five and I had a teenager and a newborn and she played soccer and all the things that came with that. So my general rule of thumb is yes, go be out and about. Do the things that life requires of us. Shoot for at least one nap at home if you can. If can not. If you’re out and about and you get home and there’s more than half the nap left, attempt to put them down. And I say that lightly attempt.

Jennifer: one fall asleep in them and they did it in the car.

Laura: So attempt to put them down. If it’s less than half the nap left, then just hang out with them and reset with that next feed time. And always using those feed times as your reset points I think helps so much to kind of weed through a lot of the craziness that happens. And along that line is the question of being out late at night because it’s night date night or they want to go to grandma’s and eat dinner and what do we do with the bedtime routine? And really the best thing is feed the bedtime bottle wherever you are, let that little one hang out. And when you get home at 10 o’clock at night, wash their face, change their diaper, put their pajamas on, top ’em off and put ’em to bed. They’re going to be fine. Yep. Yeah, I think that’s beautiful. They’ll be fine. They’ll be fine.

Brittany: I remember I felt like I was a little bit more of like, we are going to follow the schedule. We will leave early to make sure,

Laura: accommodate.

Brittany: that we’re set up for success. And then there would be times where we’d be like, you know what? Let’s just see how they do. And they would be fine.

Laura: They do fine.

Brittany: And so you kind surprise yourself.

Laura: You have the foundation. You have the foundation built that. And I think that makes such a huge, huge difference when you already have the foundation built.

Brittany: Totally. Okay, new grandma, how can I best support my son and my daughter-in-law?

Jennifer: How much do I love that question? Well, first of all, we say this all the time, grandmas love this. But there’s a relationship to be built between a grandparent and a grandchild that has to be built in the absence of the parents. So grandparents who are on board, who follow it and who kind of take those guidelines and instructions. I think that they’re really welcomed and I think the grandparents love the routine of it just because they know when they can play and they get those breaks when they’re sleeping, but by virtue of having asked the question, she’s already helped them.

Brittany: Totally. The fact that she even cares is a huge help. I also feel like just respecting them this time

Laura: And having the conversation, have the conversation, what does this look like for you? I did things a certain way. I was a different parent. I was a different person when I was a parent of my children.

Jennifer: It’s a different culture and time.

Laura: Time. And so I want to respect you in the decisions that you’re making. Can you talk to me a little bit about that? What’s important to you? And also I think for the kids to be able to recognize that that relationship that grandparents have with their grandchildren are so much more valuable than whether or not they stick to the routine or whether or not they give ice cream at breakfast. It’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll fix it when they get back home.

Brittany: My parents love ice cream, giving the kids ice cream. That’s their thing.

Laura: And I think that’s a time period. My in-laws, absolutely. Every night after dinner at seven 30, everybody’s getting a bowl of ice cream. That’s just the way things were done.

Jennifer: Can we reinstitute that?

Brittany: I get down with that.

Jennifer: Let’s do that.

Laura: Let’s do it

Brittany: Okay. My 16 month old is waking up in the middle of the night. He will put himself to sleep just fine at bedtime. Help

Jennifer: Right around the time that we have that we’re meeting different developmental goals, their brains are just lighting up in different areas. The biggest of these is the language explosion. And you will notice our mom’s on call, babies, mom’s on call from the day they were born, sleeping fantastic.

Laura: All of a sudden

Jennifer: That language explosion hits and now they’re waking up two and three times in the middle of the night just because their brain doesn’t want to let them go to sleep. It’s learning. And so what we want to do is we want to keep consistent when their little brains are figuring out how to live life. Sometimes it’s when they walked for the first time when they’re putting more than two words together for the first time. So we like to stay out of their way. We actually want to minimize any additional stimulation at night. And oftentimes the first time it happens, we’re like, are you sick? And we’ll go, turn the lights on. And make sure you go get some ice cream. whats happening? They’re like, I don’t know why we’re not stopping this. But all the additional stimulation, their habit forming tendencies are so strong,

Laura: Takes three times.

Laura: So the first night you go in and okay, well they’re not sick, and you can rule that out the second night it happens, well, let me just go in and make sure that something wasn’t brewing and then maybe you have a good night and then the next night it happens again. So you go back in because now are they sick? And so now we’ve gone in

Jennifer: and they might be.

Laura: True. And then the next thing you know you’re running around the house with them and trying to make them go back to sleep. And that’s not our job. So if they’re not sick, we need to make sure all the things are in place. Is the routine intact? Did it shift somewhere? Or maybe we need to make a shift somewhere. What is his design? I would love to know with this, I think you said 16 month old, right around that 16 to 18 months, you can start to see what their motivators are. So her taking the toddler by design quiz, it’s free on the website, take it. It’ll kind of give her a little insight. Is this a movement kid? Well, are we getting enough exercise during the day or is this a little engineer who just needs to know how things work

Laura: And then they need to work that way? And so if one of those little boundaries have gotten out of whack, it really makes them kind out of whack. And so we want to make sure that those things, if we know how they’re motivated, then we can continue to work through the night.

Jennifer: And I think the short answer is because their habit forming tendencies are so strong, we can harness that, as long as they’re healthy, those three days of just letting them sort it out, and it’ll go on and off for a long time. And if you can go just like five more minutes and you think you can always say five minutes longer, five minutes longer, and they’re safe and you have ’em in a safe environment and

Laura: They’re loved beyond measure, in their home. With wonderful parents who are asking this question

Jennifer: in an air conditioned crew full of toys just for them,

Jennifer: That’s typically the type of client that reaches out. So yeah, just give them three days of staying out of their way. And that helps. Even if the developmental milestones that they’re meeting are kind of hijacking their little nervous system for a few days, then keeping the stimulation out of that helps that process to happen seamlessly.

Laura: And I’ll say, and also getting in the morning, kind of going back and being super intentional

Laura: When you start the day with your kids because that directly impacts when nighttime hormones come into play. So we want to make sure that at 7, 7 30 in the morning we are opening the blinds and singing a song and doing stretches and making sure that this little 16 month old knows that we’re starting the day, whether you were up all night or not, we’re starting the day with intention at 7, 7 30 in the morning.

Jennifer: Yeah. They’re not going to make up for lost sleep.

Brittany: Right.

Jennifer: We’ll transfer that to the next night.

Brittany: Right. Exactly. Okay. This one says help. My baby doesn’t want to eat anything except for purees and milk.

Laura: Well, this is usually due to in exposure.

Brittany: Okay.

Laura: Maybe. So we want to make sure that even though he only wants purees, that he’s being exposed to different textures.

Brittany: Yes.

Laura: So variety, variety, variety. We don’t know how old this one is. So I would one, make sure that she downloads the solid food introduction calendar with the extra bonus material from our website. Free resource. Free resource.

Brittany: Perfect.

Laura: It will walk out through day to day on how to increase that texture because you can’t go by what it says on stages. So if you’re buying baby food, there is no universal guideline on stages. So a stage three in one, maybe a stage one in another. It’s just the consistency. So we want to go purees a week or two later, we’re doing less puree. A week or two later we’re doing fork mushed. A week or two later we’re doing anything that mushes in your fingers or your hands. And we’re starting to throw it on the tray and let ’em play with it and touch it and see it and squish it and drop it and smell it.

Jennifer: It’s like an activity. You always say it’s like an activity.

Laura: And so let them get, whether they eat a bite or not, I want him or her to be exposed to those different textures. And I think it’s super, super important that we continue to expose them. And so it doesn’t matter if they eat one bite or 20, just want the exposure. So continue to do that and download that solid food introduction calendar. It is so great. And you don’t have to follow it. Exactly. It’s a guideline. It’s not just because we say start with cereal. You don’t have to start with cereal. I like to do cereal at first because it’s just easy for me to change consistencies easily. So that cereal I can do pretty watery and then within a few days I can get it a little thicker and a little thicker. It’s just easier to do. But yeah, just get that. It’ll help walk you walk with you through that. I think we even have four to six months pick one from these three categories and for six to eight months, pick two to three. These three.

Jennifer: We have a grocery list. For six months.

Laura: It’s a lot of fun.

Laura: To 18 months. Yeah.

Jennifer: It’s so much fun.

Laura: And it’s your job to provide the food. It’s their job to eat it

Jennifer: or not.

Brittany: That’s great advice. I know. I think sometimes people are just like, okay, well it’s there. You need to eat this. This is the time.

Laura: One more bite, one more bite, one more bite.

Brittany: And it’s like my youngest is just, she is a very, we call her a lala eater, she’s a grazer eat and she just wants to talk

Laura: and twirl.

Brittany: It takes forever. And so we try to let her eat enough so that in 15 minutes she’s not going to be like, I need a snack.

Laura: snacks are so much

Laura: So much fun. And I think the other thing, that you talk about that is I think that a lot of times, and I think this kid’s a little bit younger, but as they get older into that toddler, we’re putting humongous mounds of food on their plate and we wonder why they’re overwhelmed. Just put two or three pieces of two to three food groups and we can just keep adding more. I think that’s huge.

Brittany: I realized we were giving, so we would do some grilled chicken and cut it up, but it was still bigger pieces than what she could really handle. And so then once we cut them up even smaller, we found she was eating everything on her plate because they were just smaller. For her to manage,

Laura: it’s not as overwhelming.

Brittany: Totally.

Laura: So two or three pieces of two to three food groups, you’ll be fine. Yeah, you’ll be fine. And you can add more the older they get.

Jennifer: like how you were talking about before with the toddler by design.

Jennifer: So I’ll never forget going on a consult for a toddler and he was just not eating so wonderful parents, healthiest people you’ve ever met in your life. They’re like curating these incredible foods and their child wants nothing to do with, but it’s just the two of them. And this one child, I think he was about 16 months old, so I said, okay, I came over to observe what was happening. I’m like, just show me kind of what it looks like when you do it. And they’re both giving him all their attention, trying to get him to eat all the time. I observed, no. Oh, he’s more of an engineer, so he’s going to want to figure this out on his own. So let’s try something. Let’s the three of us just sit and eat, put him in his highchair facing the table, just all the rest of us and do not say a word to him. We will talk to each other and we will eat our food, put food on his tray, but pretend almost like he’s not with us right now. And it was hard for him at first and it was like, okay, this is awkward. Hi Jennifer. Hi.

Brittany: What do you want to talk about?

Jennifer: This is delicious and thank you for having me. But you would see the lilt of our conversation as we would go. This 16 month old started to eat independently and also started to mimic, he didn’t have the words, but he started to mimic the tone of our voices. So he was eating, he’d go mmhmmh and he would eat in between and I was like, he just wanted to be able to figure it out for himself. He just felt all that pressure, overwhelmed probably. And from that point on, great eaters loved their mealtime, but understood him also a little bit better. And that was why I remember too, his grandparents would come over, he wouldn’t run into their arms and I was like, Nope, he’s an engineer and he just needs time to warm up. So don’t try and force him into anybody’s arms. This guy’s going to need just a little more time to warm up to things without all the attention being on him all the time. And that’s amazing information to have as a parent. All the things we were worried about and they’re just the way he’s designed, which is okay, we can give them permission to be that way. So sometimes recognizing what they’re looking for in the world really helps you as you’ve noticed with yours. They’re different. One’s a grazer

Brittany: and one is like, I’m done and I want more. literally sometimes she’s like, I don’t think Hazel’s eating that. Can I have that? I’m like, okay, go ahead. So funny.

Brittany: Okay, tips on getting rid of the pacifier?

Jennifer: There’s only two times to do it when you’re ready or when you have too because they turn two and it’s going to start to, yea

Brittany: Yup make their teeth, Hazel had the little arched teeth for a little while. We ended up taking it away on our third birthday and we prepped her going into it. We were like, and thankfully it was perfect timing because my best friend Shay, who lives next door, she was about to have her third son a few months later. And so we were like, well, Shey Shey has a baby in her belly and that baby is going to need the pacis and you have all these pacis that we need to share with the new baby. So when you turn three, you’re going to be such a big girl and you don’t need your paci anymore, so let’s put ’em in this special bag and we’re going to give them to Shay and that’s what the baby can have. And so she took the little bag and she went all around and collected all the pacis and then of course we kept a two pacis just in case

Laura: Emergency

Brittany: Something for a little while, but we kind of just tried to cut it, cold turkey.

Laura: Cold turkey is the best way and I wouldn’t drag it out at that point, so I always say, take it away. When you take the swaddle away, that’s a great time. They can’t really talk to you about it, so much easier. And so being able to take it away at that point is really easy. But once they’re a toddler culture, cold turkey. We don’t have to drag it out. You can make it as fun and as an event as you want to.

Jennifer: I love the fun ideas. Tying it on balloons.

Laura: Oh, yea

Jennifer: Gifting it to the lady at Publix

Laura: she can tell you all the times

Laura: How would I do it? You don’t need the paci anymore. Let’s go to the park. throw ’em in the garbage. Let’s go. They do fine and use distraction, but either way, either way is great, but we just need to make the decision when you’re ready because it’s not going to be fun for about two or three days. However, it’ll be hard. They can do it. And distraction is your best friend. Distraction. Distraction and then speaking over them and believing in them. Right. You don’t need the pass and you’re going to be great at this.

Jennifer: You’ll figure it out.

Laura: I’m not worried.

Brittany: Perfect.

Laura: And your confidence

Brittany: Yes.

Brittany: Will translate. Yes, so true. That’s a great, we need to make that a quote somewhere. Your confidence is contagious. It’s contagious.

Brittany: Okay, last question from our followers. This one is a little bit of a story.

Brittany: Okay. I have followed moms on call religiously and my 13 month old son was sleeping and napping like a champ. That was until he was gifted COVID for Christmas from a relative.

Laura: I love those gifts.

Brittany: Ever since then it has been a struggle to say the least. We tried to go directly back to the schedule as soon as he was better and breathing normally, but he has been off ever since. I’m talking, waking up every two to three hours for months on end. When he wakes up, we rock him and sometimes take him 45 minutes to fall, for him to get back to sleep. At some point we were all zombies, him, my husband and myself. Then one fateful night when he was 17 months old, he cried and in my sleep deprived haze, I zombie walked into his room and made the rather large mistake of bringing him into our bed just so we could all get some rest. Well now he’s 19 months old and while we are finally getting sleep, he’s still in our bed. Our current routine is bath at seven 30, quiet time until around eight to eight 30, then rocking him to sleep, which takes about 15 minutes max. We put him in his crib where he sleeps until around nine 30 to 10 30. After that first wake up, I bring him into our bed where we all sleep for the rest of the night while we are getting much more sleep. I’d love my nights back and I really want him to sleep in his crib. Can we course correct or am I destined to forever co-sleep with hair pulling 360 degree sleep spinning, face kicking little mini me. Side note. I realize this is my fault. Please help.

Jennifer: This is normal parenting.

Laura: Yeah. First off, this is not your fault. We are not going to put blame on a situation that happens because it is kind of like a train wreck.

Laura: We’re watching it and we can’t stop it.

Jennifer: We’re exhausted

Laura: And we get stuck in survival mode. And I think at some point when you’re ready, and I think that’s really the bottom line, it’s not about judgment or fault or laying blame or a right way or a wrong way. If at some point you’re like, okay, this is no longer working for us as a family. There is another, is it magic? No. Does it take some work? Absolutely. But are our kids capable of doing what they are perfectly naturally able to do, which is sleep in their crib, in their room all night long? That’s a resounding yes. Yes they are.

Jennifer: Yes.

Jennifer: We’ve done it thousands of times over. Yes.

Laura: But this sweet mama doesn’t believe it.

Brittany: Okay, so we need a little bit of a mindset shift.

Laura: We need a mindset shift.

Jennifer: Sometimes we need her to say it

Laura: and somebody to tell us

Jennifer: Yeah.

Laura: We need somebody to tell our team we need a cheerleader.

Jennifer: Yes!

Jennifer: Exactly. Because you’ll go to the doctor and like, oh, just let ’em cry themselves back to sleep. You’re like, oh, that’s great. Until it’s 10:30 at night and they’re crying and you’re worrying that yeah, that they’re going to develop deep seated psychological problems for the rest of their life. Let’s just be honest, that’s where we all go, As moms. And so somebody has to tell you the truth, that they’re safe, they’re loved, and they can learn to do this. We’re going to parent out of truth and not out of fear. And the truth is they are not abandoned. You are not flying off to Timbuktu tomorrow. You’re showing up every morning. Not only that, you’re so worried about how this might affect them when they grow up.

Jennifer: That you’ve made these habits around them. So we’re going to put the household in the center so that all of us get the good sleep that we need. And I would say that the best thing is we have consultants that will partner with you so you can get the support that you need because at 10:30 at night, the pediatrician’s not there and going to talk you off the ledge and tell you and reassure you. And because we’ve seen this in all cultures across the board, that thing that all toddlers do is they all have those habit forming tendencies. And in these loving, wonderful families where they’re safe, if you have a voice telling you how to go through it and helping you through each day, it can take about at that age,

Laura: three to five, maybe

Jennifer: three to five days

Laura: To get nights

Jennifer: Somewhere between night seven and 10 you’ll have a little setback and then you’re through it. But the best thing is to have somebody’s voice of experience and grace speaking to your heart as the parent, I’m not worried about this child. He’s going to be fine. In a number of places, given the circumstances, but it’s the heart of the parents and somebody has to pay attention to that. And it’s really a beautiful thing to actually help them to get their child to do something that maybe they thought they couldn’t. You’ll do that for the rest of their lives.

Laura: And I would say for her to one know the design. So go ahead and take that toddler by design quiz, know how he’s made. He is absolutely touch. Yeah, he’s absolutely touch. Go ahead and take that toddler by design quiz, get that foundation done, have some phrases in your pocket so that when we do bath and we do our snuggles and our prayers and our snuggle time and we put him in that crib, we say, I love you and I’ll see you when the sun comes up. Or I love you and I believe in you and I’ll see you when the sun comes up and you’re going to be great at sleeping all night in your big boy bed. I love you. I’m not worried about it. And you walk out confidently and shut that door and then give him the time to figure out, oh yeah, I can go back to sleep because she’s probably like three minutes away from him going right back to sleep.

Jennifer: A couple nights. Yeah, three to five minutes away. And the support I think is really helpful.

Brittany: So in a situation like this, let’s just say that maybe they weren’t in a position to have the consultant come in is the cry it out method the best at this point after of course giving them those loving words of wisdom stuff.

Laura: You have to have all the things in the place. So cry it out alone is typically not enough

Brittany: okay

Laura: Not all cry it out is the same. So we want to make sure that they’re healthy, that we have that routine in place, that we know they’re designed so that we’re speaking into that specific motivator for that child that we have a safe sleep environment and then those phrases, and then yes, staying out of their way. We always say about five minutes longer than you can stand. So begin there. Begin there.

Jennifer: And with the book. But all of our consultants don’t come in.

Brittany: Yeah

Jennifer: You can have a week of email,

Jennifer: You can have a phone call,

Laura: 30 minute phone call

Jennifer: You can have. So we try and make it accessible to every parent so that they can get whatever level of support they feel like they need. And sometimes when we’ve had the COVID to our bed, what I would love about having a consultant is we can, depending on the age, how old? 17? No. Now 19 months. 19 months, we can actually go straight to a toddler bed right here. We can do a number of adjustments all at once.

Brittany: yeah

Jennifer: A lot of people say, oh, I’m going to take the paci away and then that’ll take three or five days or a week and then I’m going to get in their bed. And that’ll take, no, we do everything at once because it’ll take ’em three to five nights regardless, regardless of change it all, make it all the best that you can make it for the household and then give them three days. When they cry, we always have this perspective that the crying is so horrible and crying is actually a way that they make it from point A to point B. It’s a way that they achieve what I call it is the sound of achievement. That we’re perpetrating this on them. They just are saying, Hey, this isn’t what happened yesterday. I need to let everyone in the world know this is not what happened yesterday. Did you hear that? Did you hear that? Still isn’t what happened yesterday, but I can make it what happened yesterday. And I think it’s loving to do that and to let them actually make it through all those little stages

Laura: And frustration is painful to some degree. Frustration is a place that none of us like to be. We don’t like that uneasy feeling. Right?

Jennifer: But it’s a great motivator.

Laura: Oh, it’s a great motivator. And once they get through on the other side and this 19 month old is waking up in the morning and talking and ready to start the day and then you’re rested and so that now you can be a better mom or a better dad or a better sister or a better friend or a better coworker or whatever those things are, sleep is such a key to the foundation of that.

Jennifer: Well sleep that’s healthy for the household.

Brittany: yea

Jennifer: We’re sleeping. We’re just sleeping all in the middle. That’s not sustainable for this family, in this season. So can we change it? a hundred percent yes. You want to do that alone. You can. We have resources at every level that you can tap into so we make sure it’s safe and we’re doing everything that we can.

Laura: And we can walk it out with you if you need to.

Jennifer: Yes, we talked about food. I can’t eat for you and I can’t sleep for you, but I can do what I can do and I can be trustworthy and I can believe in what you’re capable of. If somebody will just regularly tell me what that is, it doesn’t look like it by virtue of the fact that you’re kicking me in the ribblets all night in my own bed. So to recognize that they’re capable of it and to recognize you can’t sleep for them, but you can set up guidelines that serve them and your household and allow everybody the time it takes to adjust and let that sound of achievement come and go. And when it goes, everybody is in this really ideal place

Brittany: Right.

Jennifer: Like Laura was talking about. Is that fun? No. Who’s at hardest on the parents?

Jennifer: Usually the mom. And if it’s a mom and dad situation, I always say, dad, look, if you would just roll over, put your arms around this woman and say, Hey, we’re going to get through this together. That helps in that situation when our minds are going. And sometimes it has to be the other way around where the mom is like honey, especially with dad,

Laura: Honey, we got it.

Jennifer: Yeah. Dad’s with girls that are not on the same level of the house. So if you have a master on Maine and your daughter is upstairs, it’s the dads that have the hardest time. It’s so funny. So you may have to do that the other way around. Mom may have to be like, honey, we got this. We will get threw this together.

Brittany: That’s too funny. Well, that’s perfect. Thank you. Okay, let’s wrap up. First of all, this has just been truly so amazing. I think our listeners are going to find much value from this podcast episode. One question that I end all of my episodes on is with our kindness question. And so to you both, what is the most meaningful act of kindness that someone has extended to you that has made a lasting impact on your life?

Laura: I would probably have to say there was a story I had helped. We had a little mommy who had a little micro preemie, right? 29 weeks. Her husband was deployed. She’s in Hawaii with this new micro preemie, no family. And so of course I stepped in the gap, right? Stepped in, what do you need? We got you. We will take care of whatever you need. And thought, oh, this is great. Because man, there’s nothing that makes me feel happier than knowing that I’m walking through this situation with another family and I don’t know, several, it may have even been a year or two later, and I get a box in the mail and it’s a flag that was folded and a handwritten note from that dad saying, thank you for stepping in when I was gone and I carried this flag to this place and that place and this place, and I’ve always held onto it, waiting for the perfect place for it to go. And he wrote this note and it was just so incredibly kind because he wanted to make sure that I knew that I stepped in a place that he couldn’t be at that moment and thinking, oh my gosh, this is the craziest thing ever. So that kindness kind of set every single thing that I do, is because of that.

Laura: Because there are families around the world that are walking this out by themselves. And whether it’s a single mom or a single dad who lost his wife during delivery or so, in the big scheme of things, yes, we’re a company and yes, we sell books and blankets and online courses and all the things, but at the end of the day, we want to be helpful. And so getting that message filled like, yes, I can do it. That was actually in 2023. So that little baby now is over 10 years of age. But that’s what kept us going. And I think that kindness, the kindness of somebody to write a handwritten note to let me know, man, changed my life. It changed my perspective. It changed everything that we were doing. It changed the why. We knew what the why was, but that just solidified the why. Nothing else really matters.

Brittany: It’s so special.

Jennifer: I would have to say probably the Kindness Act was from my children. So after my grandfather died and they wanted me to sing, I sing, which also why I’m Taylor Swift.

Brittany: Exactly.

Laura: I forgot, I do not sing,

Jennifer: But a lot about football so. I’ll see how it works. And my grandfather had passed away and they asked me to sing at his funeral. Now he was the love of my life and my three boys gathered around me to pray for me before I went out to do that. Now, it was the sweetest thing in the words that they said to me, were so kind and so gracious. And I think when you see and hear your kids treat you that way when you’ve always looked out for them.

Jennifer: So that did not help me not cry. So we’re clear. I went out and sang a song that made you wonder, is this, do we need to call an ambulance or is she going to recover from this? I was trying so hard to control my face and whatnot, but I would have to say that moment where they just like of their own accord, nobody said, oh, why don’t you go do this? They’re all like Mom. And they were young. I think Grayson was about 10 and the boys were about seven. And so that was their decision and it just touched me. Yeah.

Brittany: Well those are both such beautiful stories. Thank you so much for sharing. And again, this episode I think is just going to help so many moms and dads and people looking for direction and wanting a guide and wanting to figure out how to create a household like we’ve been chatting about for the last hour. So thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. We talked about some really amazing resources, which we will leave for our listeners in the show notes. So direct links to some of the specific guides and places to download the different items that we talked about. So make sure you check out there. But will you tell us where we can find you on Instagram?

Laura: Yep. Mom’s on Call. Perfect. That’s the best place to find us on Instagram and Facebook and I think TikTok now, I don’t know, YouTube. I don’t know.

Jennifer: There’s the website Moms on call.com

Laura: and then the app

Jennifer: And the app as well. Yes, there’s an ebook, there’s iBooks, there’s Audible. We have the podcast, the Mom’s on Call podcast. So where can you not find us?

Brittany: Exactly right. Just mom’s on call everywhere. Mom’s on call. I love that. Well, thank you again so much. I know everybody is going to love this. Thank you for having us. What fun.

Brittany: Hi, friend. If you’re loving the show, will you go find that follow button on your podcast app? This will ensure that you won’t miss a single episode. I love having you in this community. Until next time, this season of Life with Loverly is produced by Elizabeth Evans Media Productions.