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October 31, 2023

75. “Without Accepting the Crazy”: If Your Year Hasn’t Gone According to Plan, You’re in Good Company

75. “Without Accepting the Crazy”: If Your Year Hasn’t Gone According to Plan, You’re in Good Company



Hi, friends!


Not to sound cliche, but can you believe we are already nearing the end of 2023?! It feels like just yesterday Nichelle and I were planning out our words of the year in January - and now here we are, on the cusp of November with fall candles burning and Christmas presents already being purchased.


It’s hard to believe the year has gone by so quickly, but boy does it feel like so much has happened. 

 

And I’m going to be really honest with you guys – this has been one of my hardest years to date.

 

At the beginning of January, I set the word ‘calm’ as my intentional word for the year. It was a word that I wanted to live out in my personal and professional life. And one I wanted to embody for my family and my own presence of mind.

 

Well, I can very honestly say that this year has been anything but since the jump.

 

And I figured if I was feeling this way, I couldn’t be the only one. So I wanted to hop on the mic with Nichelle so we can all, collectively, take a deep breath in, and know we have each other’s backs. So if things haven’t quite gone your way this year, you’re in good company friends.

 

In this episode we are chatting:

  • Closet Sale update and how much we donated to St. Jude! Thank you!
  • Why our year has NOT gone according to plan
  • How we are resetting for the rest of year

 

If you remember, I experienced a miscarriage at the beginning of this year – and it was more emotionally overwhelming than I even knew. I still tear up whenever I think or talk about it, and it's something I’m still healing from if I’m honest. After experiencing a trauma like that, it really is hard to correct course and get things back on track in other areas of your life.

 

And for Nichelle, she ended up going off of birth control and had some spiral-y hormonal symptoms from that. It’s just so hard being a woman sometimes, isn’t it? Between battling that and not making her community around her a priority, things got pretty difficult for Nichelle there for awhile, too.

 

We don’t bring any of this up for you to feel badly for us, but we do want to normalize when disappointments carry us off track for long enough, and it’s hard to get back even to baseline. We want to be here to carry that alongside you, and remind you that you ARE capable and worthy of living out the rest of the year with intention.

 

So tune in for my girlie updates at the beginning of this episode – and then come alongside us as we journey through some setbacks during the second half of the episode. 

 

Thank you so much for being here, friends. We really couldn’t (and wouldn’t!) do this without you. 

 

And just remember, if you’re going through a difficult time, lean on your community, you are not a burden, and always know you are worth fighting for.

 

Chat soon!

Xx,

Brittany

 

Watch this week's episode here! 

 

Transcript

This podcast was transcribed using Rev.com. Please forgive any typos or errors.

 

 

Brittany: Hi friends. Welcome to the Life with Loverly podcast. I'm Brittany, a wife, mom, and lifestyle entrepreneur here to help you discover your best daily style and encourage you to try new things when getting dressed each day, I took a tiny following on social media and turned it into a community of over 1 million amazing women, and I am so glad you're here. I'll be sharing my heart with you beyond the 15 seconds on Instagram. So we'll be diving into things like personal growth, friendships, motherhood, marriage, and of course the business of blogging. Really, this space is here to serve as your go-to resource to building a life you adore while sprinkling some kindness to others along the way. Grab a nice coffee and let's do life together. I'm Brittany, and this is The Life with Loverly podcast.

Hi friends. Welcome back to today's episode of the Life with Loverly podcast. It's been a minute!

Nichelle: It has been a minute! We were just talking about this, I was like, yeah, we were in here a couple weeks ago talking and she's like, no, Nichelle, we've had so many guests in between you and I sitting here, and I was like, that must've been a dream.

Brittany: Literally. Yeah, it feels weird. It does. I'm like, do we need a practice round or,

Nichelle: I mean, we probably could have...

Brittany: Give us some grace on this. We've got lots of great things to talk about today. This is a very real episode. I mean all of the episodes are real, but this is kind of like we have some problems that we're like, you know what? I think other people probably are,

Nichelle: They're going to respect a little bit of behind the scenes and truth.

Brittany: Yes, lots of great things coming. Seriously. Also, speaking of truth, I left my house this morning and I would say that my household is failure to thrive right now. We've got lots of sickness going on all week. It's like they're just trading off fevers and stomach things and

Nichelle: Tis the season.

Brittany: I know I looked at Chris, I was like, I think they need to stay home and our nanny doesn't work on Fridays, which means Chris had to stay home.

Nichelle: Nanny Chris is there. Yeah,

Brittany: We are trading off. I am going home, but I'm like, gosh, it just is that change of weather. I mean they're in daycare, so they're little bodies, they're just.

Nichelle: Yeah, I can't imagine how they're feeling right now. I know a few adults that are kind of going through the virus, whatever it is that's going around. It could be multiple things. Who knows?

Brittany: We had some girls in our office, strep throat in her family.

Nichelle: Yes. I dunno. Stay away.

Brittany: Seriously. Well, and that's me. I'm like, do I feel okay? Is my stomach hurting? Y

Nichelle: ou're like, yeah, am I fine?

Brittany: Chris is like, are you good? I'm good. I think I'm good, But I don't know it is weird.

Nichelle: You're downing charcoal. Yeah,

Brittany: No kidding.

Literally Jenn Boughey told me this trick when we had a stomach bug at our house maybe six months ago or something, and she was like, you've got to get some activated charcoal little capsules and split it up, give it to the kids, you guys take it. And it really helped.

Nichelle: It's supposed to even help it prevent almost. Right? Or she told you to take it before you got it from them, right?

Brittany: Yes.

Nichelle: Yeah.

Brittany: So I definitely did that this week as well. I was like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes, and maybe this is probably not a good idea, but sometimes I feel like when sickness is coming I'm like, let me just go ahead and take all these extra vitamins. Surely it can't hurt.

I mean I'm sure somebody's listening that's like, no, this actually isn't a good idea.

Nichelle: And you're wondering about your stomach ache early or later,

Brittany: So that's on me.

Nichelle: It's fine.

Brittany: So hopefully the kids will get it together. We're supposed to go to the beach next week and I'm like, we'll just move this sick house to the beach house.

Nichelle: At least y'all be together. So true. Same people, different house. Yeah. This week's been a little crazy. I think just again, weather change has all of us kind of in a panic at the house. Like wait, they don't have a coat. Wait, do we need jeans? Do we have long sleeve shirts that fit now? And it happens every year, but it's like it surprises me every year too. It's like I'm not prepared for it.

Brittany: Well, because we get fake fall

Nichelle: Yes

Brittany: Then all of a sudden it's like freezing starting now and you're like, wait, I don't have pants for the kids.

Nichelle: Or you get fake fall and then you go back to summer, which in Georgia happens a lot and then it's like winter.

Brittany: Yeah, Collins and Hazel, I was cleaning out some of their clothes because they're long little legging pants are really from last year. And I was like, oh yeah, I'll fix that or I'll clean that out. And now I'm like, none of this fits us and it's freezing outside and Collins wears a uniform. All of the little outfits are not pants, and so I need to call the school and be like, what's acceptable pants

Nichelle:

Brittany: For them to wear so they're not freezing all winter. I mean, I guess obviously tights or leggings under the dresses. But Chris sent her yesterday in her top and then he put on a pair of red leggings, which is the school colors, but I picked her up and I was like, what are you wearing?

Nichelle: And daycare always knows when dad got the kids ready, they're like, oh, dad did that this morning.

Brittany: I know. And I always try to leave the clothes out and he gets 'em dressed and takes 'em to school and there's some days where I'm like, what?

Nichelle: Yeah, Robert's still traumatized from a situation because I was like, What happened today? Did she have a blowout?

Brittany: Yeah. Are these someone else's kids? Someone else's clothes?

Nichelle: These clothes somewhere else in here? And I take her home and she's wearing white dress up Mary Jane's, She's wearing olive green cargo, capris and a turquoise tank top.

Brittany: What?

Nichelle: Yeah, and I was like, she looks homeless. Literally. This is not, I would never put her in this. He still to this day is like, "well, I'm not going to get them dressed because I can't dress anybody. Those are the same colors". I was like, no, they're not.

Brittany: They're like, we have a bigger issues. Are you colorblind?

Nichelle: Literally somebody who works in retail. Seriously. He worked in retail for Years.

Brittany: Oh my gosh.

Nichelle: Clothing retail!

Brittany: Dressing Mannequins and they're all like...

Nichelle: Bless you. Bless you.

Brittany: I feel like I have to be cautious of what combination could these pants potentially get put in that I'm not going to approve of? Do we need to buy them? That's what I have to go through in my head and I always tell Chris, I'm like, this is a reflection of me, especially being in the fashion industry. It's like that meme of I can't be dressed, my house can't be clean and my kids can't be looking good all at the same time. We got pick one, but sometimes I'm like, I am literally a fashion influencer obviously for women and occasionally for children, but not, I am still just like...

He's like, no one cares about that. Let them be kids. Let them mismatch. And I'm like, that gives me hives.

Nichelle: We don't do that here. I just don't.

Brittany: I want to set them up for success.

Nichelle: Agree. Agree. Yeah. I was the same. Now I have a 12 year old that's stealing from her 18 year old sister. They wear about the same size. She can fit in most of her clothes. So that's been the battle this week that Maddie's like, where's my Spanx skirt? Where's my Abercrombie jacket? My, it literally is all in her room.

Brittany: Oh my gosh. I feel like we're going to really have some problems with that when the kids get older of how close in age they are

Nichelle: Yes!

Brittany: And I'm just already like, oh no, the sister, I didn't say you could borrow that. I mean they do that now with the dress up clothes and I'm like, okay, this is not yours. It's not yours, it's mine. I'm sharing it with you. So why are we getting upset?

Nichelle: I know my kids are anomaly because they are the same size and they're six years apart, but yours are definitely going to end up being the same sizes.

Brittany: I know. I always go back and forth at our new house if I should have kept the Jack and Jill bathroom or if they should have their own bathrooms.

Nichelle: No,

Brittany: And I'll have these moments where I'm like, I think it's probably best to be separated.

Nichelle: Yeah,

Brittany: You're like, it's so cute right now. I know they have, but

Nichelle: Then they're going to be pulling each other's hair one day or

Brittany: Get out of the way or I need the bathroom or whatever.

Nichelle: Exactly.

Brittany: I'm like, let's just avoid that.

Nichelle: Yes, it was smart move.

Brittany: Yeah. Okay. So we had a closet sale last weekend. We

Nichelle: Did. It was so good

Brittany: Fun. I know I feel like this year now that we have this option to host them in the photo studio, there's only so much room in there, so I feel like they're a little bit smaller.

Nichelle: We're also doing them more often than we started off doing. It was once a year and we needed a really big space. There was so much. This has been perfect for the amount of stuff that we've had. But again, fire code, all that, there's only so many people that can come in the building.

Brittany: I know things that we didn't have to think about before.

That we're now like, oh wait, we can only let 15 people in here at a time. But it was really great. We raised $9,000 for St. Jude, so all of the proceeds are getting donated. Chris is running the New York City marathon in two weeks, which is crazy to the point now where he's like, yeah, so I can't get sick. And I'm like, oh, you're in the wrong house right now. But he's like, that could really take him out. And thankfully he's kind of come to terms that this marathon isn't going to be a best time. He's just not like he wants to do more than just finish the race. But some of the past ones have been to qualify for other marathons, whereas this is just for a

Nichelle: His kind of fun

Brittany: His run, which I'm like, no one's making you do this, remember? And so he's running with St. Jude, which is amazing. He did this with London a few years ago. So when we always raise money and this was a way that we're giving back. So that was really exciting. And then everything that we had left over from the closet sale we've put on Poshmark, which wow has been the bane of our existence this week. I'm not going to lie.

Nichelle: Poshmark, I have tossed and turned this week only so much that you can do. We didn't know this, but Poshmark does not have the best customer support.

Brittany: No. So we've listed on Poshmark for years and again, all of the proceeds that we make go get donated to charity and usually every month we pick a different charity. A lot of times we've repeatedly given to breast cancer research, St. Jude, local charities here. And so for us we're like, this is a great way for people to get these items that were maybe sold out before they could get their hands on it or whatever. We kind of had some things going on in the photo studio, so we needed to move. Stay organized.

Nichelle: It had to be moved, we had some extra hands, were really helping us. It was awesome. I'm so proud of the girls for nailing the assignment.

Brittany: And then the sales started coming through from Poshmark. We went to print the label and it's like update settings, can't print until you update all these settings, which had changed since the time we had been on Poshmark. And it had been probably a few months because we were saving stuff for the closet sale. Well, there's no customer support. It's like email and we will get back to you in 24 to 48 hours. But then they weren't getting back to us but not solving the problem. It was just, it

Nichelle: Was copy and paste your generic facts, which I was able to find on the website and they weren't helping. So they were like copy, paste, send.

Brittany: And so there was an issue with the address and I don't have my personal address listed on the return labels for obvious reasons to goes to our PO box, but that wasn't matching up with my driver's license that you had to upload a picture of. And so we were like, we have over 140 orders that are trying to get sent out. And we,

Nichelle: We had no idea that these settings had changed it. We were like, how have we gone this long? And it's been fine, and now all of a sudden you're telling us that we have to verify who we are. Everything is in there correctly. So it's been literally a week of just back and forth. What are we going to do? Purchases keep coming in. It's not stopping.

Brittany: And the problem too is after it's been seven days, you get the buyer, you kind of get docked and I'm sure all these people who have bought are like, why hasn't this shipped yet? And we're like, we can't ship anything. And I've been like, should I get on my Instagram and say, Hey, if you've ordered something, hang tight. We're trying to work through this. Thank goodness it came through this morning. You got on and just tried it one more time. And they had resolved the problem

Nichelle: Like Jesus and I had a talk this morning. I was like, something's got to give. I was like, let me go in here and just see if there's anything that has updated. And it popped up and I changed the information around and poof, we were good to go.

Brittany: Yeah, it was just wild.

Nichelle: Ultimately we got locked out of the account. That's what happened. So that's why none of those options were coming available for the last two and a half days.

Brittany: And I'm just like, okay, what is Britney mode? Turns on and I'm like, okay, do we take everything down and then try to relist it once this gets fixed? But nobody could find a way to, I mean, I was on LinkedIn looking up Poshmark employees. I don't understand why it's so difficult, but anyway, it's fixed. If you ordered from Poshmark, by the time you hear this, that was the drama of us not getting it out ASAP, but it's going out today.

Nichelle: We promise we want it to come to you. We want you to enjoy it.

Brittany: Right.

Oh my goodness.

Nichelle: Anyway, yeah, this week I started therapy back.

Brittany: Okay, so because you stopped.

Nichelle: Yeah. This summer, what was it, July-ish.

Something like that. My therapist was like, Nichelle, you're healed. You're graduating,

Brittany: You're healed,

Nichelle: Healed. I'm like, no, I'm not. Actually, I'm scared to be in the world without my therapist. Let's not do that. And she's like, no, you're great. You have great coping skills. You know exactly how to process these situations. I feel very confident that you're going to do great, but if you need anything, call me. I'm like, okay, I need something. And I'm like, maybe I'm in my own head, maybe I'm fine. And I was not fine.

I turns out, yeah, I wasn't ready. I was not ready to graduate. So I have been going through, I feel like some changes over the last couple of months that have not helped this situation. So I came to the realization, I'm like, yeah, you got to ask for help even though you think that you don't need it. Anybody should have a therapist. I feel like anybody should have a therapist. I

Brittany: Literally think everyone should literally, I try to tell Chris all the time, I'm like, you really should hire a therapist. Truly life changing.

I just want you to experience this freedom I have after a conversation that I'm like, oh

Nichelle: Yes,

Brittany: That makes so much sense.

Nichelle: Yes. And not somebody who's going to be like, oh no, you're fine. You're good. No, you're right. This person, my therapist will be like, what the hell are you thinking?

Brittany: She literally will look at me and be like, what?

And you're like,

Nichelle: And I need that in my life. I don't want anybody candy coating anything. Tell me if I'm right or wrong and how to move forward. So yeah, it was nice. I talked to her last night and I said, I bamboozled you apparently.

Brittany: Yeah.

Nichelle: I made you think I was good and I was not. So here we are, we're back.

Brittany: You're like, get excited!

Nichelle: Yes. But yeah, I went through this whole spell of not being able to sleep and I was taking medicine for it, and the last thing I wanted to do was take medicine for it. I was trying to get off birth control because I was trying to get off medicine and anyway, long story short, we're off the medicine, we're able to sleep on our own.

Brittany: Well, it's crazy though. I mean, I just think back this year has not been, I think if on January one this is not what I was expecting this year to be,

Nichelle: We were totally different people on

Brittany: That day. And I just think too, it's interesting because thinking back to our words of the year, mine was calm,

Was, which is like a giant LOL,

Nichelle: Right?

It was kind of a joke back and forth. I was like, yeah, this is calm.

Brittany: Literally we would be not calm. This is not calm. And I think I knew I was pregnant when I came up with that word. I was like,

Nichelle: You, I need to manifest this. Yeah,

Brittany: I'm going to in September have a baby. I really need to just channel the calm vibes, not have these crazy expectations and not calm, not calm.

March and April seemed like fun. I don't even really remember what we did in those months, but I just feel like insanity has happened since May.

Nichelle: I don't remember what happened, but we had fun.

Brittany: I just know it wasn't crazy May true, and then it just has trickled.

Nichelle: Yeah. Yeah. Life has happened guys. I think that's just the ultimate thing. It's not people on the outside. I think that you always have it together because you're able to put on a face and go on your day. And I think that's the great thing is for the most part, we have a positive attitude when it comes to it, but it doesn't mean that some things haven't sucked along the way.

Brittany: Totally. Well also this is my job. I mean the same way you have to check whatever's happening in your personal life at the door. I kind of have to do that at some level or I just don't necessarily want to share what today's really sucks or these are all these hard things that are happening behind the scenes or this is the stuff I'm having to deal with running a business and being the CEO, but that's not necessarily what they need to see. And so it does look like there's this level of put togetherness the same way if you're listening and you go to your job and you check yourself at the door and it's like, let me go in and get my job done and come back and we'll pick on that, pick up that hat and wear at home, or whatever. But there's just been definitely a lot of stuff that's been like, okay, I feel challenged. I keep looking, thinking back, I'm like, what is all this teaching us, me? This is happening for a reason. What is this? How am I going to use this experience for some future time And am I going to do it better next time?

Nichelle: I'm still working through that part. I think,

Yeah, it's been hard. This has been a hard, I would even say just last several months, not the whole year, but the last several months for me personally. And then of course I put everything into my work. I put my worth into my work and I'm working on not doing that. It can be in it, but it can be the only thing. And so I think just evaluating, okay, these are the lessons that I learned and they're tough, but how can I make the most of those situations? We're not all perfect as much as we want to be. I know I want to be, we're not perfect, so how can I take this and learn from it and have a better year next year?

Brittany: Yeah.

Nichelle: My word was joy and I think that I was pretty far from that this year.

Brittany: You're like, cool, cool. I know mean we could probably go back and listen to the podcast episode. We talked about our words of the year and just our intentions.

Nichelle: Yes.

Brittany: But I, I remember us even talking about where you were wanting to find joy and

Nichelle: That was not found. I don't think joy.

Brittany: I mean I feel like

Nichelle: I had moments.

Brittany: There's just stuff that's happened. I think back to, there was a year, maybe it was 2021 or 2022 that I just got three quarters of the way through the year and I was like, man, this year's really rocked. I feel like nothing has really gone wrong. Everything's kind of been in my favor. We've done some amazing things. And I sort of remember feeling like, when's this going to stop and when is the hard stuff going to happen? Because surely I can't just go through life forever being like, this was great. That was great accolade here. And I definitely feel like this year has been, remember that time

Nichelle: You

Brittany: Were like, when's the hard stuff coming? Here we go

Nichelle: And we're trying to be calm. It was supposed to be in business and in life. And I'm like, things are going rampant in my life. So I'm like, let me put all my energy into work. And I was not allowing either. I don't think either of us were allowing for the calm. We were like, go and let's keep our minds off of it.

Brittany: And it was just sort of like, let's just work through it. We know if we work hard and we set all these things up, we'll just work past it. It was sort of like, that's not really how it works. You can do that for so long.

Nichelle: You crash and burn.

Brittany: Yeah. I think even, I know for me, I so often get caught up in the just what is happening around me. I literally need to just live with permanent blinders because I can get so derailed or I can feel like I'm being calm. I've made a decision. We're going to go light on the posting. We're just going to share what's really intentional. That's a big word that we've continued from year after year and wanted to still do. And then it's like little blinder opens a little bit and it's like We need to go down this road and do all these things because that's all happening. And holiday is right around the corner, which is always a crazy time.

 

Always a time that I'm like, I can take on that project, I can do that. And it's like, no.

Nichelle: Yeah, we're going to have to have boundaries.

Brittany: I know

Nichelle: Between the house building getting so close to the end,

Brittany: And that's starting to take a lot more time, which is fine, and it's a season, but I'm like, we also can't operate at this pace. There's just not enough hours in the day. And I've found myself lately being like, I really need one more full day to do all of this. And I take off Wednesdays and we take off Sundays, and I've even found myself being like, well, maybe I need to just come in on Wednesday. And then I'm immediately like, Nope, that is your boundary. Do not if you get, you know what I mean? I think there's just,

Nichelle: Yeah, it just opens a door for more craziness to happen. It really does. So yeah, literally anytime you're like, I'm going to work Wednesday, and I'm like, no, you're not. No, you're not.

For everyone's sake. No.

Brittany: Please.

Nichelle: Yeah. But yeah, no,

Brittany: There's just been disappointment that we've experienced on just personal things. I'm speaking for myself, but I know just in our conversations and just there's been disappointment on your end too, and this has just been a trying year.

Nichelle: Yeah. But I feel like, I mean, that's the cool thing about this though too, is that we are in this business that is so new we can still pave the way even from this. I feel like it's just literally this year is going to make us so much stronger coming forward. I think it's just reminding ourselves, again, this is a season. I know that whenever You and I were talking about some of the things that had happened this year, it was like, okay, they say they come, it comes in threes, and then it was like, okay, well there's three. Okay, now there's a fourth. Now there's this. I'm like, okay, what are we just saying? It comes in sevens now. What is the magic number where it stops? I'm trying to be positive and I just can't right now.

Brittany: I know. And so many times I'm like, why is this happening? I think the problem solver in me is so just like, okay, why is the devil so at work?

I think for me, one thing this year I've really tried to, I started a Bible reading plan. We've been really involved with our small group, so I know the fact that I'm trying to be in the word and read the Bible and just learn more. The devil is like, I don't think so. Here's all these ways I'm going to tear you down. It's just so crazy how you're then having to be like, no, no.

Nichelle: It's like you're fighting for it.

Brittany: Yeah. I mean they always talk about wearing the armor of God, and I'm like, I literally feel like I have to be armored up every day, like pinging ping, pinging, pinging. Don't come at me, don't come at me. But it's just crazy. But I'm like, I know all of this will make me stronger and better for the future. I'll at least know how to handle things when also life is always hard.

Nichelle: It is. I feel like you kind got hit hard at the very beginning of the year and it kind of set the tone.

Brittany: I was like, oh, awesome.

It's Only February and I really don't want this miscarriage to set us up for the year, but,

Nichelle: And we were moving into the office. There's just so much change happening at that time too.

Brittany: So much change. And it's so interesting. Even just, I remember it was probably maybe a few months ago we were talking and I was like, I feel like there's some level of trauma that comes with coming to the office.

Nichelle: Yeah, it was all right there

Brittany: At once. And I don't want to walk into this place every day and be like, oh yeah, dinging, ding, dinging. Remember what happened when we moved here? And so that was something we kind had to work through and was like, okay, well how do we make this place? Not that. it's just wild

Nichelle: And it's not something that goes away overnight. It's a process.

Brittany: One thing that really helped me, it's just talking with people, Hearing from other friends. I know I mentioned this on the miscarriage episode, but hearing from other people that I didn't even know went through that. But the same thing goes for other hard things that have happened in the year. Just being able to have somebody to talk to. I think that's so important and can be so healing to be like, we're going through this hard time too, or it's not just all, I feel like the vulnerability. I've had a few friends that I've sort of just opened up to a little bit more and I've felt this like, wow, I didn't know I needed to have that conversation today. But I feel so much lighter.

Nichelle: Yes! Yes.

Brittany: Sometimes you do have to put yourself out there and just be like, I feel like you're somebody I can trust. Can I just leave some things on the table right now? And that really helped me in a few different times throughout this year. Just hard stuff that was going on.

Nichelle: That was definitely something that I wanted to be there for you in that situation. I didn't talk about mine whenever it happened because it was very taboo at the time, and I also didn't realize how much it had affected me still throughout the years. I was like, I'm fine. And when I finally started talking about it, it then felt like I had a weight lifted off my shoulder, even though it was years later, years. So much can be said about that, finding that a person, a few people to just share your heart with. Totally. It lightens it a lot.

Brittany: Yeah. Well, and I feel like you've, even in the past few weeks, I feel like have really started doing a lot more stuff with some of your friends, and y'all have been super intentional about spending time together. And I think I've just noticed a big change even in you just, I don't know, sometimes I feel like friends and people are so important in your life.

Nichelle: Especially the ones that lift you up.

Brittany: Totally.

Nichelle: I went through this when I go through hard times, sometimes I find myself, I hermit myself off and I focus on the one thing, and then I kind of feel like a gray cloud kind of covers shadows me a little bit. This is kind of what I was explaining to my therapist last night that it's like, it feels like a cloud of depression, but I know mentally how to battle it off

Brittany: You're aware of it,

Nichelle: But I find myself, I just hermit

It is not a good place to be when you're feeling down. It's not. And I think that's the rollercoaster that I was on, the deep dive that I took, that I closed myself off and didn't allow for those conversations to happen. And then therapy stopped and then it was just literally a whirlwind of just sad and ugh.

Brittany: I know.

Nichelle: So that was the one thing that a few weeks ago I stepped back and I was like, I need to be a better version of me. What are those steps? What do I need to do to be a better version of me? And one of 'em was have people, you need people. So therapy people, fun, reminding yourself that you have a life to live. Go have fun.

Brittany: I really hate seeing when people just let the disappointment just take over their lives and then they lose sight of everything and then it's just this downward spiral, which I think can happen to people without them even knowing sometimes.

Nichelle: For sure,

Brittany: For sure.

Nichelle: Yes.

Brittany: I mean, and it's like you really have to be aware or wanting to get into a place where it's like, this doesn't feel like the life I should be living. And I mean, I guess I'm kind of here to say, if you are feeling that way, you have to stay that way.

Nichelle: No,

Brittany: There are always going to be hard things that happen. And yes, I think I have a more positive outlook on life in general, but life is meant to be lived, even if it's really hard. There's ways to kind of get out of that. I dunno. I mean, I think we kind wanted to talk about just the reality of this year and just some stuff that's been recently going on just to kind of say we don't have to end the year on a bad note just because It's kind of been a tough year.

Nichelle: We don't want the year to end the way that we felt like it's been going. So that was a lot of the conversation before. We wanted to sit down and just say, let's come up with a plan to make this actually the best year. There's still time, so don't lose hope in that.

Brittany: I know, it's crazy because I mean, yes, it's almost November, which is wild, and it's basically Christmas.

Nichelle: Seriously, I just bought my first Christmas present. It was so weird. Really? So weird.

Brittany: So the kids have been looking through those Amazon and Target books And they're circling literally everything on every page. And I'm like, Okay, I need those. Set some expectations. We're not getting all of this.

But it's wild to me that the end of the year is so close, but it feels like there's so many things we have going on and we have a lot of travel coming up and it's like I'm really trying to be intentional with those times away and intentional when I'm here in the office. So I mean, even today before we got on this recording, I was just, I feel like this is an opportunity. There were some things that were going to be shifting and some posts that were going to be moving around. I am not going to be able to record some things. And I was like, I feel like this is kind of an opportunity for us to just be okay with it. And you were like, no, no, no. You need to just, yes. Maybe this is our sign to I think be calm.

Nichelle: Take a seat.

Brittany: She did. I was like, thank you. I actually needed, sometimes you just need somebody to be like, it's going to be okay. Yes, I know your brain's going 30 miles an hour, but let's just not.

Nichelle: Another great thing about having somebody that you are close with and knowing their thought process. I was like, you don't need to be more stressed right now. Sit down.

Brittany: It's so funny because sometimes Michelle, I'll just start talking and dah dah, and I know she'll just be sitting there listening and looking and she's like, I know you're working through whatever this is. Let me know when you need me to interject.

Nichelle: I'm going to take it all in and try to feel out what the root cause is right now.

Brittany: Right. I'm like, welcome to reading my mind lesson 732.

Nichelle: Yeah,

Brittany: It works. Oh man. We do have some fun things coming up though. While the year has been hard, personally, I think we've had an amazing podcast season we

Nichelle: Have this year. We've met some amazing people, guys. I actually am seeing Brooks Vaughn right now. She's local here and she's helping me through some hormonal health stuff that I've got going on after coming off birth control and being old. And so I'm very excited about that. Yeah,

Brittany: We've also had Rachel Cruz on.

Nichelle: We have.

Brittany: I love her. She's great. And also I love that she's just such a supporter of Loverly Grey and a lot of her videos that she's doing for the Ramsey University and all of that are pieces of clothing that I recommended. I love watching a video and I'm like, that's that loft blazer Or those are those anthro pants.

Nichelle: She randomly is like, got this from my favorite influencer.

Brittany: I love her. She messaged me the other day and was like, okay, I need some faux leather pants. What should I get? And so it was like, okay, here's some pictures of me in it. Which do you like better?

Nichelle: Yes.

Brittany: But she's amazing. And some of these episodes go back and listen to them.

Another one of my absolute favorites was the last episode with Bridged just entire conversation. What I love about her is she's so knowledgeable as a dietician, but she doesn't make you feel bad. It's like, okay, maybe you made a bad choice in what you're eating today, but there's always tomorrow. You have the choice. And it feels very encouraging. Instead of the people that are like, oh, I can't believe you're eating that. This Is what you just did to yourself. Yeah,

Nichelle: Right.

Brittany: She gives you these, this is what an optimal meal looks like. How can we get towards eating that? Or Let's get you on these supplements that are going to help your body be its best vessel, which I think was also something that was really important for me in this year, was to really focus on my own health. When I get stressed, I get overworked and I'm like, don't take care of myself. So she's putting some things into practice where it's like, this is not an option. This is what happens in stress, and we're just going to knock that out right away. So she was another amazing episode. I also really loved the conversation with Ali Reeves. I feel like she gave some excellent motivation, just like Boss kind of like, let's level it up.

Nichelle: Jen Buoy, of course,

Brittany: Always Jenn Boughey.

She's like a lifesaver.

Nichelle: Yes.

Brittany: Truly yes.

Nichelle: For so many reasons.

Brittany: So there were just so many great episodes on life with Loverly. I mean, I think a few times have even been like, gosh, these interviews were some of our very favorites. So shout out to Elizabeth for just always coming through with amazing ideas and helping us bring this vision to life, which makes

Nichelle: Me think I can't wait until next year. Think of all this was a great season in the podcast. I cannot wait for the next one

Brittany: I know, which we do have some fun holiday episodes that we're going to be launching in a few weeks. We're going to do just kind of a mini series over the holidays that we'll have just some tips and tricks and ways that you can have a seamless holiday. One of my friends, Theresa's going to be on the podcast and giving us some hosting ideas,

Nichelle: Which I'm really

Brittany: Excited about. Guys,

Nichelle: I'm excited for you to hear from her. She is the funniest human being.

Brittany: It's going to be so great. And we've got a few other things coming up. And then one thing I know I don't try it not to mix a ton of loverly grace stuff over here, but this is called Life with. So that does track and make sense. Nichelle and I are going to be doing a loft live together, and we're going to be releasing some of their holiday collection and talking through what that looks like on both of us since we're different sizes and how to style these pieces. And I'm already so ready to start wearing these clothes.

Nichelle: Me too, guys. They're gorgeous.

Brittany: We did a photo shoot yesterday just to kind of prep and get some assets over to the Loft team so we can start promoting it. And I was like, I want to wear this right now. I know I want to wear, get ready to see me in sequence every day at the office

Nichelle: In

Brittany: This holiday, like Velvet. So that is going to be on November 9th.

Nichelle: Yep. November 9th, 6:00 PM Eastern,

Brittany: 6:00 PM And so that's going to be a great little after work, kind of hang out with you guys. So there's some really fun, exciting things coming.

Nichelle: There are.

Brittany: And we're just going to choose to find the joy.

Nichelle: Yes.

Brittany: Find the calm,

Nichelle: Yes.

Brittany: And really live it up the rest of this year without accepting the crazy. We're going to work through that.

Nichelle: I love that. We're not going to accept the crazy.

Brittany: Yeah,

Nichelle: I'm going to remember to say that

Brittany: When I just said the joy, it reminded me of something I need to go back and listen to. I don't want you to listen to. So we will come back and do that later.

But anyway, this has been a great episode. We just wanted to share a little bit of our heart. I know sometimes things just look like perfect and just wanted to, if you all are in a tough season, just know you're not alone and hopefully you maybe got encouraged to, or there was a few things that encouraged you to kind of turn things around.

Nichelle: Surround yourself with some great people.

Brittany: Yeah, absolutely.

We love you guys and we will talk to you on the next episode of Life with Loverly.

Hi friend! I hope you enjoyed this episode on the Life with Loverly podcast. Be sure to snap a screenshot on your phone during your favorite part of the episode. Post it to your Instagram stories and tag us at life with Loverly. I love seeing what's resonating with you and reposting the spread more kindness along the way. See you next week, friend!

This season of Life with Loverly is produced by Elizabeth Evans Media Productions.


 

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