August 01, 2023

66. Unlock Your Identity: Free Yourself of People Pleasing

66. Unlock Your Identity: Free Yourself of People Pleasing

If you’re anything like me, it can be difficult to open up about what we are struggling with.

It’s a lot easier to act like we have it all together, but how does that  really  benefit us? It leaves us alone in our struggles!

I believe being vulnerable with someone you trust is one of the best ways to heal. We can sympathize together and collaborate to find solutions that will point us back to Jesus. 

We wanted to create a safe space for YOU today if you feel like the pains of your days are too much to bear alone. Whether that’s from chronic people pleasing, not feeling ‘enough’, or just overwhelming loneliness.

So in this week’s episode, I invited two of the most genuine people I know, Brittany Maher and Cassandra Speer of Her True Worth, to the podcast. 

I started following @HerTrueWorth on Instagram a few years ago because I felt like everything they posted spoke to my exact situation at the time. It gave me comfort to know I was not alone - and neither are you, friend.  

Her True Worth was started by Britt and her husband in 2015, and Cass was added to the team after Britt scrolled past one of her posts on Insta and DM’d her. 

Now, Britt and Cass are authors of not only Instagram posts, but a book and devotional. And trust me - after the episode, you’ll be dying to get your hands on a copy. They’re full of rawness, wisdom, and deep-rooted encouragement that serves as a guide in navigating the painful seasons.

Their writing is inspired by the prompting of the Holy Spirit on their hearts, which makes it all the more meaningful when you scroll across a post that resonates with YOU and your story. 

What I loved most about this episode was the way that Britt and Cass totally let down their walls and got vulnerable with their current and past pain points, and how the hurt (and redemption from it) has led them to where they are today.

Their vulnerability helped me open up about my own difficulties (like how ‘people-pleasing’ has been a constant battle for me), and I hope it does the same for you.

And if you take one thing away from this episode, let it be that you are not alone!

There are tangible ways we can help ourselves combat the need to please others. 

Here are some tips if you feel like you can’t get out of the vicious cycle:

  • Start small - say no to situations / social events that have lower stakes if you feel overwhelmed
  • Be honest, but loving
  • Practice inner awareness
  • Use a delay strategy - “Can I get back to you on that?”

Because once you start pouring into your own cup, it will overflow, so you can serve others from a place of joyfulness - not obligation. 

Although Cass, Britt, and I all have stories that are unique to us - there was a common theme that we can all take away from the hardships:

  • There is purpose in our pain. Beauty in our brokenness. 
  • Our identity is found in Christ - no one or nothing else. 
  • You don’t have to earn your worth. Jesus paid for you on the cross… and He doesn’t have buyer’s remorse.

I definitely left our conversation feeling inspired, and I hope this serves as a reminder to all of you of what truly matters. 

Let this nourish your soul, provide some encouragement, and rest in the fact that JESUS LOVES YOU! We’ll see you next week, friends. 


I would love to hear some of your stories and how this may have inspired you too. Get in touch with me:  @lifewithloverly

Follow Her True Worth on Instagram for encouraging posts:  @hertrueworth

Snag a copy of their book and devotional: 

  • Her True Worth: Breaking Free From a Culture of Selfies, Side Hustles, and People Pleasing to Embrace Your True Identity in Christ
  • There’s Beauty In Your Brokenness - 90 Day Devotion 

    What I’m wearing in the episode:


    Watch the rest of the episode:



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