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November 22, 2022

48. Get Inside The Mind of A Man! Gift Giving Do’s and Don’ts for the MEN in Your Life, plus Your Relationship Questions Answered with Chris Sjogren

48. Get Inside The Mind of A Man! Gift Giving Do’s and Don’ts for the MEN in Your Life, plus Your Relationship Questions Answered with Chris Sjogren

Hey, friends!

 

We have a fun episode in store for you today! If you’ve ever wanted to know what your man is thinking when it comes togift giving, navigating in laws, and date nights –  this conversation is for you.

 

I’m on the mic today with my husband that we endearingly call, Loverly Chris, and we are answering YOUR questions you submitted via Instagram.

 

The first topic we dive into are the DO’s and DONT’s of gift buying for your man. I mean, it’s not easy, ladies! Especially when they aren’t forthright with what they want - because they probably don’t even know themselves. So Chris is here breaking down what his favorite gifts to receive are – and which are less than ideal.

 

We also chat about:

 

  • How we split the holidays between the in laws
  • A bit about our IVF journey, and
  • What it’s *really* like working together

 

One of my favorite pro tips for gift giving? Keep a shared note throughout the year!! That way, if he brings something up in conversation randomly, or wants to drop something in there himself, you can refer back to that around the holidays if you don’t already have an idea of what to get!

 

And Chris’s biggest advice for gift giving for your man is NOT to get something that reminds them of work! Go more for the hobby, the personal interest, and specifically - an EXPERIENCE.


Tune in to hear his gift suggestions, his biggest piece of advice for new runners (since he’s a big runner himself!), and if he liked taking all of those pics of me when I first started the blog! ha!

 

 

  • Here are the links to the items we chatted about in the episode:

 

 

 

  • More in depth chat about IVF: https://podcasts.apple.com/id/podcast/ivf-journey/id1585706259?i=1000539709099

 

 

Use code LWLFREESHIP at the Life with Loverly Shop for free shipping on all orders within the Continental US!

Transcript

This podcast was transcribed using Descript. Please forgive any typos or errors.

 

Brittany: Hi friends. Welcome to the Life of Loverly Podcast. I'm Brittany, a wife, mom, and lifestyle entrepreneur here to help you discover your best daily style and encourage you to try new things when getting dressed each day, I took a tiny following on social media and turned it into a community of over 1 million amazing women, and I am so glad you're here.

I'll be sharing my heart with you beyond the 15 seconds on Instagram. So we'll be diving into things like personal growth. Friendships, motherhood, marriage, and of course the business of blogging. Really, this space is here to serve as your go-to resource, to building a life you adore while sprinkling some kindness to others along the way.

Grab an iced coffee and let's do life together. I'm Brittany, and this is The Life with Loverly podcast.

Hi friends. Welcome back to the Life with Loverly podcast. We have a special guest in the studio today. 

Chris: Hi friends. I'm back again. 

Brittany: So Chris is joining us. For those of you who don't know, Chris is my husband, AKA

Loverly Chris. The best girl dad ever. We thought it would be fun to do a Q and A episode where we answer. Just all sorts of questions from all sorts of categories. I think a main thing people have been wanting to know is what to buy the guys in their lives. Like what they truly really want. So we brought in the expert and he's going to help us. 

Chris: Yeah, we had questions about what to get. We had questions about how to spend time on the holidays. Some dating questions, some IVF questions. A lot of in-law questions. So yeah, let's just start and see where it takes. 

Brittany: All right, so we're going to start with the holidays. How do we split time between our families and the holidays? 

Chris: So I think I answered this in two parts. Pre-kids. Post kids. Pre-kids, we were alternating holidays between my family back in Boston and your family down here . We were in Atlanta at the time, but we would always do Thanksgiving with your parents because we would go somewhere for it. And then Christmas we would alternate, but we went back a few times. 

Brittany: Yeah. We would rotate. If we did Thanksgiving with my family, we would do Christmas with yours and then like vice versa the next year.

And then now with kids, I feel like everybody can just come to us. 

Chris: Yeah. If you want to see us, unfortunately. For the next couple years, you're going to come see us.because it's the holidays, it's hard to travel and my kids are going to wake up on Christmas morning and they're going to open presents at their house because Santa came to see them and we're not going to explain to them that Santa came to Grammy's this year and then next year went to Nana's.

No, it's Santa came here, we're going to do Christmas and we're going to build our own family traditions at our house. 

Brittany: And we always go to the beach for a week over Thanksgiving. Usually my family comes, but Chris's family has come down before, and so that's like an open invitation to whoever wants to join us.

That's where we'll be. And then at Christmas, my parents live in the same town, like a mile from us.I

Chris: It makes it easy when your parents are a mile and a half away.

Brittany: So they come over after Christmas. 

Chris: And we had my parents down last year after Christmas. 

Brittany: Yeah. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do it, but I think what we've learned is like we have to do what's best for our immediate family, and sometimes that's not going to always be what the extended family wants to hear, but as the parent, I think you just have to do what's best for little group of people. 

So let's hop into gifting.because I think a lot of people want to know from a guy's perspective about gifts for the holidays. Chris always does a big roundup of gifts for him. He's had several past blog posts on Cyber Monday that are all about what to get guys for the holidays.

So we try to always share some Black Friday gift guides. 

I've done 

Chris: Cyber Monday stuff. I've done, gifts for the runner, gifts for the golfer, gifts for the everyday man. Just a variety of things because not everyone has the same hobbies as me, so I try and help you out.

Brittany: Okay, so let's start with what do guys not want for Christmas? 

Chris: So I never wanted something that reminded me of work. So my last job before coming on full-time here, I was in a suit every single day. Even if they were really nice, like I love my Cole Hann work shoes. I didn't want those. I didn't want a tie. I didn't want, new cuff links. I didn't want anything that reminded me of going to work. So that's definitely a no-no for me. 

Brittany: Okay. Try to go in the direction of what does your guy really enjoy. Or what is he like wanting to get into? 

Chris: Yeah. Whether it's a new hobby, whether it's an old hobby, I call it his happy place, like whatever he enjoys doing when he wants to be happy. If there's something for that, find a gift around that. 

Brittany: Yeah. That's a great place to start. 

Chris: And the other thing too, don't go crazy on experimenting. If Brittany got me a bow and arrow to go hunting, I'd be like, what am I going to do with this? I've never hunted a day in my life. I know I'm living the south now, but I'm not a hunter. So while I say get them something for their hobby don't force a hobby on them that they're like, what? That'd be another thing too. 

Brittany: Good to know. Okay. So what would be some things that you would want or that you think a guy would want in some of these categories?

Chris: Yeah. So it all depends on what your category is. If you're a runner, if you're a golfer. There's certain things not to buy that are just very specific to individuals.

Brittany: It would be hard for me to go buy you a new set of golf clubs. 

Chris: Correct. Don't buy me a new driver unless I told you exactly what I wanted. Don't buy me a pair of running shoes unless you knew I like them or knew I was wearing them already. 

Brittany: Okay, so then what could I buy you? 

Chris: Yep. You could get me a new golf bag, you could get me some golf balls. You could get me new golf shoes. You could get me golf clothes. You could also get me golf experiences. 

Brittany: Yeah. One year I got you those lessons. I think you're still using them. 

Chris: I know you got me like 10. I was like, oh, this is fantastic. So I drive down to Lake Oconee and see my good friend Taylor who almost spoiled the Heather McMahan surprise for everyone. That's another story. 

Brittany: I feel like that's what you associate with Taylor now. 

Chris: Could have killed him. But yeah, experiences are the number one thing I say for gifts. Whether that's, if you're a golfer, get him, a new fitting. There's tour experience golf, there's all these True Spec Golfs all over the country.

Say he wants to get new clubs, don't buy him the clubs. Send him somewhere that'll get properly fit. If he's a runner, maybe get an entry into a race that he's looking to try to get into or book a hotel and take him on a trip somewhere for a race weekend that he wants to go to.

There's a variety of different things in terms of experiences that I think I like more than just a material gift. Because I don't need a lot, I have a lot already. There's not a ton of things that I'm like, Ooh, that would be great to have. Little knickknacks here and there are fine, but I think the best gifts are, a weekend away with my wife. 

Going to the lessons with Taylor were great because we went down, we stayed at the hotel, we had a weekend down there for our first one. I think we only went for 36 hours. It was just one night. But we woke up, we went to the spa, we had a day together.

Especially with young kids if you can swing it and get babysitters and get, childcare, I say experiences. 

Brittany: Yeah. Another one of the questions is what to buy for the man who has everything. 

Chris: Experiences. I mean if he's into cars, there's like Atlanta Motor Speedway, you can get him, an hour on the track to drive a Porsche. 

Brittany: But then you could turn it into a day date. Or, I don't know, let's say you have a teenage son and dad and you could get that for them to go do together. I think of like experiences that my brother and dad have done together, or concerts or something like that.

Chris: Concerts, sporting events, comedy shows. Experiences I think is the best gift going right now. 

Brittany: Yeah. Just to go off of some of what Chris has already said, he loves Florida State and he loves any Boston sports memorabilia. So I feel like if I'm wanting to get something, I know I can at least start there and be like that has the Florida State logo on it. And he really likes the brand, Peter Marlar. What if I got him a new shirt that was for golf, but it had the Florida State logo. So if you put a few, two and two together and he would wear like a new polo on the golf course, but it's got his school emblem.

Just shows you put some extra thought into that. 

Chris: A hundred percent. 

Brittany: Chris recently, put together some gift guides. So we'll link those in the show notes as well so you guys can go back and check out what some of his picks are for men and runners and golfers and what he's wanting and different things like that. So we've got a big roundup. 

Okay. Another gifting related question though is what kind of gift giver is Chris? 

Chris: I'm a phenomenal gift giver. 

Brittany: I was just going to say that. You've always been such a good gift giver, even when we were dating. You always really listened.

Chris: Subtle hints throughout year. 

Brittany: We have a shared note that's just titled gifts and if there's ever anything that we come across. If there was ever an opportunity or for a birthday or anniversary or Christmas, and I either put the link or say what it is and he goes he does that as well.

If an opportunity comes up and I'm like, when am I going to get him for XYZ event? I can go check the note and it's got some ideas in there and maybe it's something he put in there in May and I'm checking it in October, but I'm like, oh yeah, he never got that. Maybe that would be like a cool thing to do.

So that's a subtle way, especially if your spouse is not a really good gift giver. If you're just constantly disappointed by the gifts and it feels like, okay, how come he's not picking up on any of these clues? That is something that you could be like, Hey,here's just a bank of items. This would be a great place to pull from.

Chris: A hundred percent. I would much rather you tell me what you want than you not say anything throughout the year, and I get you, a ring that I think is exactly what you'd want or a necklace or whatever, and it's you're like, it's not really my style. And I'm like, Ooh, I thought it was, but I guess not. I'd rather you just come out and say it. The one time I went rogue. I got you the mama bracelet and I was like, that's a safe bet because we had just had Collins. 

Brittany: It was actually this like really pretty David Yerman bracelet. An in cursive, you almost couldn't even see that it said mom. But I remember being like, this is so thoughtful. And he was like, for sure we're returning this. I don't know if she's going to like it. Like I think it's really cool, but I don't know. And I really liked it. And I think like you were still surprised, but I'm so glad and I wore it every day for Oh wow, like years. 

But I also think communication is key in so many areas of life. Either sitting down and being like, Hey, what would you like? Let's discuss this. And then it can be a surprise from there. You don't have to continue the conversation once you get a few ideas.

Chris: It is fun to have surprises. But it's also okay to not have surprises too. Like it's okay to be like, Hey, I would like this. And if your partner's always ah, I don't need anything. Then you you put it back on 'em. Say I'm going to buy you something.

I'm going to get you something, so you need to tell me. At least point me in a direction. And that just goes back to marriage 1 0 1 is communication.

Brittany: I think it's funny because early on in our marriage, I remember thinking to myself like, why can't he just read my mind? He should know that I want X or he should know I'm feeling like this, or he should know I'm thinking this. No, he doesn't he does not know that. So as soon as I realized that early on, that the communication aspect of it is so important. That makes a big difference. 

All right, so this kind of smoothly transitions into our next category, which is dating and relationships. There were some questions that came through about this and even continuing to date your spouse and things like that. So best date night? 

Chris: My ideal date night would be an early dinner, so like a six o'clock dinner, probably sushi, maybe secondary spot for a light dessert and then a concert.

Brittany: Oh, we haven't done that in a while. 

Chris: I know. Unfortunately, Athens doesn't have a ton of good concerts. Relatively speakingbecause just when we were in Atlanta, I mean everybody comes to Atlanta. That's the difference. Goes back to my thing earlier about experiences. Like I love going to concerts.

I love live music. Was the last one we did Carrie? Like just me and you? 

Brittany: I think so. Yeah. We do dinner or go like on double dates with friends a lot and I think that's always really important. We usually try to do that at least once a week.

Like we didn't last week, I don't think. 

Chris: our kids were sick. 

Brittany: Yeah, I know. But I feel like towards the end of the week I was like, could really use a date night. Yes. So I also really love day dates. I remember there were a few times you would take off work when I was like doing Loverly Grey and you were still working a corporate job.

You would take off like a day and we would go do lunch or do treat your feet. Or go shopping or had a full day experience. And it was just like things that. Our daughter at the time, Collins, she was in daycare, so we had childcare and it was like, let's go do this all throughout the day.

So that type of stuff I think is really fun. 

Chris: Yeah. What was that movie that Bash Day dates? I think it was Ryan Reynolds. I think it was that, but they were talking like, oh, day date can't have a day date. I personally like day dates. 

Brittany: Yeah, I think a day date is great, so we should definitely do more of that.

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Who do you think is more romantic between the two of us? 

Chris: Me.

Brittany: Yeah. I would say that's probably true. I guess he does more. I feel like you do more little things for me. He would send flowers or buy my favorite wine at the store. He does a lot of little things. I feel like I'm always like, what is the equivalent of sending flowers to a guy?

There's times that I want to be like, this was awesome, like congratulations or Amazing job. Or, I'm proud of you, or thinking about you, but I'm like, and then what? 

Chris: Yeah, you could send flowers, edible arrangements. Insomnia. Cookies.

Brittany: Let's be real, guys are just like, or you could just have sex and it's fine. 

Chris: Yeah, exactly. The romantic one. Yeah, I just going back to the if I had to give one marriage advice or even relationship advice, read the book, the Five Love Languages, because your love language is, Gifts and acts of service.

Brittany: Although I feel like it's changing a little bit.

Chris: I don't know if I believe that.

Brittany: Chris and I, when we were early into our dating relationship, we both read five love languages and my mom suggested it because I guess she had just read it and she was like, I feel like this would be really good for y'all to read because we were getting a little bit more serious.

Yeah, I remember we were flying up to hang out with your parents and we were both reading it on the plane. You had a copy. I had a copy. It was like a race to see who could finish it first. But it was so good and we still think back and talk about this and. Then we just put that into practice from the beginning. 

If you've never read it, highly recommend, definitely do it. 

Chris: It's a good way to make sure that even though you might think you're showing love to your spouse by doing it this way and knowing what their love language is and how they receive love it really makes a difference. 

Brittany: So that I feel like we've carried throughout. Yours is physical touch. 

Chris: Hence why I'm the more romantic one and she isn't . 

Brittany: Yeah. I want to reread it or retake the quiz again. I really liked the book though because it gave examples in the book of actual stories of people who were sitting in like a marriage counseling session, and they were like saying, but I'm doing all this.

I'm doing all this. And the wife is like that doesn't matter to me. I wish you would just spend time with me. And it's it's super applicable. But yeah. Anyway. 

What would you say was the hardest year of being married? 

Chris: The IVF year without a doubt.

Brittany: So we got married in 2015. We started not preventing in 2016 because I had surgery and they removed some polyps and they were just like, you might have issues, but I don't know. We were okay, we're married, if we get pregnant and. .Then I feel like it wasn't until the next year that we were like, okay, let's actually start trying to get pregnant, and then we didn't all that year, and so then at the end of that year saw a fertility specialist. I feel like the year before we saw a fertility specialist was the difficult year. Not the actual year of going through the treatments and doing IUI and doing ivf. I felt like that was at least like a plan. But the year before that was like crazy for you for work.

Chris: I was traveling like every other week. 

Brittany: I was doing Loverly Grey full time. We were two ships in the night. Obviously you can't get pregnant if you're not together. There was a lot of tension, a lot of what are we doing?

That was a hard year, but I think even through that, we still maintained the Going on date nights, like getting back to basics.

Chris: You have to. Know one of the topics we're going to talk about later is ivf, but when you're going through it, you have to prioritize the marriage and dating your spouse through it because it is extremely stressful on both of you.

I know obviously it's very hard for the wife or the mother, she's the one getting, the shots and the treatments and everything else. And just the rage of hormones. It's hard on the dad too.because you're trying not to feel like a failure. I don't think that gets talked about enough like sport for guys going through it, but continue to date your spouse through that because you have to remember that you guys are a team. It was hard for us at the beginning because like you said, we were two ships in the night passing.

But when we really got focused and got the plan in place, prioritizing that we like we ran it together, really made a difference. 

Brittany: Yeah. Elaborating on that for a husband and wife going through it, this question is from the wife's perspective. She wants to know how she can help her husband through the IVF process.

Chris: Yeah, I think the biggest thing is,I didn't want to talk about it at, with anybody. I'm Irish Catholic and we don't express our feelings. We bury everything deep down in our soul, and that's just how we live. 

Brittany: We're working through that with him. 

Chris: It's been years and we're still, we're getting there.

We're getting better. But like I said, I think the biggest thing is just prioritize the dating of the spouse and the marriage itself. And making sure the spouse and you together are still happy together. Control the controllables. If, today we're doing shots and we're doing xyz, but you know what? Tonight we're going to go have a nice dinner and we're going to go on a date and we're going to go do something fun. We're going to take our mind off of it. 

Brittany: It also goes back to making sure that you're loving them in the way that they feel loved. Like going back to the book like, That's probably the best way, once you figure that out. Yeah, just continuing to show them love and support. I think we became such a good team at that point because it was like, we have each other in this and like that is it. Yeah, of course we had family and friends who like wanted to support us through this, but like nobody else knows the feelings you are feeling in the season that you're walking through except for you and the person you are walking through it with.

So you have to lean into each other and make sure that you guys put each other firstbecause that's what's most important. 

Chris: Yeah. I've heard this told from other people as well that they had the same feeling and this is, you're almost like a cow going out to stud. You lose all intimacy because you're putting so much stress on the act. You're putting so much stress on every time and it takes the joy out of it. So finding joy in the actual relationship itself, whether it's, find things that made you guys happy prior to this, whether it was going to concerts, going to dinners, going to movies, going to shows, whatever it is, continue doing that and prioritizing that.

You know what, you might have a stressful day at work and you might have to work tomorrow, but hey, you know what? Maybe go out on that Wednesday night. It's okay to, find time for each other and understand that it's just a seasonal life and you're going to get through it.

Brittany: How would you say like giving advice to the husbands supporting and consoling their wives through infertility?

Is there anything in addition to those type of things that you would do or that you remember doing for me? because sometimes I feel like I was feeling different emotions because I was the one not getting pregnant, even though it was us. It was like something like my body wasn't accepting or whatever the case was. But any like additional thing that you remember just that kind of helped? 

Chris: Yeah. think the biggest thing was just realizing that it's extremely difficult to go through and realizing that you have to remember that it hurts both of you. And to be their understanding and be their rock and know that it's okay to talk about it.

It's okay to be upset. It's okay to, ask why, but remember, You are doing it together. And just be there for them. 

Brittany: If anything, it honestly strengthens your marriage. Like it could really go one of two ways. There were dark times. If you choose to be there for each other and put each other first. That was probably one of the like hardest years, but the most strengthening years. Once we were on the other side, it was like, okay, if we could go through that together, we could go through anything together. 

 Chris actually has an entire podcast on here that we'll link back to as well. That just talks more about the guy's perspective of going through IVF and just gives you guys a little bit more about our story and things like that. So if you haven't heard it before, that would be one worth checking out.

Chris: Yeah, I think the biggest thing. We obviously went through it a few years ago, but even in the years since we went through it, I feel like it's becoming, I don't want to say mainstreambecause that's not the right word, but more and more people are at least talking about it. , more and more famous people are going through it.

 For the guys out there pat McAfee's, one of the biggest. The entertainment, I don't even know what you'd call him, entertainment mogul on the planet right now. Him and his wife were just going through it. They just got pregnant. And Jenny Dell, who's the sideline reporter for cbs, her and her ex major league baseball player, husband went through it and seeing more and more people share their stories again, when we went through it, I didn't want to share.

I'm glad we did because the amount of messages we've gotten about, just people saying, I'm going through it right now and just hearing you guys success, gives us hope. So know that there is hope. Know that there are people thinking about you even if they don't know you. because I still hearken back to the idea of.

I wouldn't wish that going through it on anybody, but know that if you are going through it, shoot me a dm. I'll answer any questions I can. I'll be there to support you if I can. because it is difficult. 

Brittany: And it's also interesting to hear like those few examples that you just gave of what resonated with you was, is people in the sports world who you know. Maybe if your husband is, think of what their hobby. I'm sure there's somebody who's publicly talking about it that's in that, especially now. 

Chris: 10 years ago they weren't talking about it. 

Brittany: But it makes it relatable. So then if you needed to share like that story. Wow, we're not alone and here's this person who is one of my favorite sports sideline reporters and they're going through so it. Sometimes it helps to just know you're in the company of other people who are walking in the same path, but you might have to figure out, who that is for your husband or for your significant other, so they can relate to it too. 

All right, let's get into some more of these questions. This is going to be a fun one. In-laws. So there's a few questions just about I guess the first one would be like strengthening the relationship with your in-laws.

What is your advice? If it's not bad, but it could be better. 

Chris: Find common hobbies with your, whether mother-in-law, father-in-law, whatever it is. Find common ground and find things that you guys can enjoy. 

Brittany: So a little bit of backstory. Chris's family lives in Massachusetts. My family lives in Athens. We literally live like a mile down the street from my parents.

We do not live, obviously close to his parents. So we are with my family a lot more, which I would say, we didn't ever really want to move back to Massachusetts. 

Chris: I don't do snow anymore. 

Brittany: Yeah. And so we always knew we were going to be in the South. We talked about when we were dating that we would eventually want to be back in Athens.

And so I think you've known that going into this, that it was, you're going to be around my side of the family for the long haul. But another question is this person's having a hard time setting boundaries with their in-laws. Advice or experience. And I feel like we definitely had to set some boundaries with my parents.

Like I would have them over all day, every day. And there are times where Chris is okay, like we need to have some rules around this. And I feel like everybody just respects each other's. If we say, Hey, can you call us before you walk over, give us a heads up, we'll do the same for you.

That sounds great. So I think it's like figuring out. Set what those boundaries can be and just communicating them. 

Chris: Yeah. And the other thing too is like you and your spouse have to be on the same page with us, right? I have a great relationship with with your parents. , I know not a lot of people do.

But it all goes back to, like we talked about earlier, it's prioritizing the family, the immediate family If you and I and the girls are coming first and I didn't like your parents, or not that I didn't like them, if you know we had a good relationship, a could be better relationship I would go to you and say, Hey I don't want them stopping by unannounced.

I don't want them doing this. Like when you talk about setting boundaries, like you have to set the boundaries with your spouse first because. You don't need to come off as the bad guy in that situation like this has to. 

Brittany: That's probably going to make it worse. 

Chris: Correct. You have to, tell them, look like I just, I need space, I need this, I need whatever it is.

But you and the spouse have to be on the same page in order for this to work. 

Brittany: Yeah. So there's a few questions about us working together and Loverly Grey. So the first question is, what do you think of the evolution of Loverly Grey as a spouse and as an employee? 

Chris: Let's answer that, but let's back up and say, how long have I been working here and what.

Doing here. So how long would you say I've been working here? 

Brittany: Officially since 2020. Unofficially. Since 2018. 

Chris: Yeah. Brittany, I love her. Loverly Grey. She is great at content. She is great at Instagram. She is great at providing. All the things you guys need for shopping.

Brit's not great at business in terms of taxes, legal it's not her passion. It's not what she wants to do, and she would rather spend her time, with you guys, like creating content, which is fine. So while I had my corporate job, my nights were spent, not every night. A lot of nights, a lot of nights were spent, running the books, running payroll, running, legal, running, basically anything that has to get done for a business to work.

That doesn't involve being on social media platforms. So in 2019, pre pandemic the business was growing, doing very well. We were pregnant with Hazel and it got to the point where we needed to hire, we needed someone to be full-time. I couldn't keep doing the work just at night because my job was very busy.

 It was just the situation with having Collins and another one on the way, I would never get to see the kidsbecause I'd always be either working my corporate job or working for the business. So it got to the point where we needed to hire a business manager and the opportunity was we either hire somebody or we hire me.

Brittany: This job is so personal to me. It is my life. It is so much more personal than if I like owned like a clothing store that was separate from my personal life. If I would've hired somebody on the outside to come in and manage everything, that would be letting somebody into a lot of our life.

And so it just naturally made sense. And I think this is why a lot of people end up hiring their husbands on is because 

Chris: it's a family business as much as it is. 

Brittany: You have vested interests. 

Chris: Correct. I'm going to look at the books a lot tighter than somebody that I just hired.

I'm going to look at the finances because it's not just the business, it's our family, it's our livelihood, it's all of us. So in my previous job I was a project manager, so I had done a lot of this type of work, the organizational work, this type of management in the past. So it was a natural fit and the other positive was, It would open up the opportunity to eventually move to Athens, which is what Brittany really wanted to do prior to Hazel being born.

So I put my notice in January 3rd, we made the decision around the holidays we're like, you know what? Let's do it. The holidays of 2019, I got back from Christmas break. I put my notice in the first day. I gave a month's notice. Just life advice, don't burn bridges with companies that you spend a lot of time with. So I gave a month's notice, helped train and hired my back fill, and started with Brittany February 1st, 2020.

The first three weeks were going great. We went to Seattle to do a Gibson launch. We had some Nordstrom work out there. It went very well. While we were out there, the nursing home had the first COVID cases in the U.S. We thought, oh my goodness, are we not going to be able to get home?

We managed to get home. We left Seattle, Brittany went to New York Fashion Week the next week. That's when New York got their first cases. Neither of us got it at that time. Eventually Brittany came home and then Covid kinda shut everything down and that's when with her being pregnant, we pulled Collins outta school.

So it was serendipitous that I didn't have my corporate job anymore, so I wasn't working with them, but I was working with Brittany. But I could also help with the childcare. 

Brittany: There was so much do and flexibility. 

Chris: Our first week of February, like our first week together with me working Loverly Grey, we went to the beach.

You're just like, you know what, let's get away for a week. 

Brittany: Yeah. So I guess, like what would you say back to the first question is the evolution of Loverly Grey? 

Chris: So Loverly Grey started for you as a hobby, while I was traveling a lot for work. I had just found out I was going to be going to Seattle.

It started as, you'll go every couple months. And then it was, you'll go once a quarter. And then it was,you're going to go every other week. So my travel schedule picked up and you're like, yeah, I want to start this hobby Fashion blog. I'm like, all right, cool. Sweet, like I'm going to be gone a lot.

So this. A good hobby for you? Little did I know I was going to get a new hobby of being a photographer, . So I took a lot of photos. I hated it. 

Brittany: The bribing that had to happen, you guys, I would be like, it was bad. It was, we're going to go shoot five outfits. 

Chris: I'd be gone all week and then I'd come home. The only thing I want to do is sit on the couch and we're driving around Roswell taking photos and I'm like, what are we even doing? And then it continued to grow. Continued to grow. And then it got to the point where you were getting ready to leave your corporate job.because we had worked for the same company at the time and you were getting ready to leave.

Some people were very supportive, others weren't, and I won't forget that. And then it continued to grow. We had a couple different, full-time employees helping you. And then I joined and it became the evolution of Loverly Grey. We went from taking pictures and posting on Instagram to now recording a podcast when I get a camera in front of me and we have, I'm drinking out of a high friend's coffee mug and it's just, we're building a commercial real estate space and it's grown and it's continued to grow and it's just been, it's a lot of fun to see the growth.

It's a lot of fun to meet the people. And then it's also fun to see the positives come out of it. When we talked about the IVF stuff and people reaching out to us, just being like, thank you for sharing that. Or when I talked about the sobriety stuff and people were like, asking questions about that.

And people tell me, I've been sober X amount of years. And it is fun to see the community that Brittany has built is pretty awesome. Yeah. Proud proud hubby moment. 

Brittany: You're sweet. It's crazy. We didn't think that this is where we would be. 

Chris: No. And it, the humble brag for them is, Brittany and some of these other, I don't like the term influencers, but these other influencers created a entire new career path for women, which I think is awesome.

Brittany: Yeah. It's really cool, everything that's happened since starting out and even like prior to recording this podcast today, we've been sitting with like our heads down, trying to figure out there's some new ways that we can get products, into your hands faster and we've been doing research on it. It's always changing and it's just really cool to see. It's been interesting for the two of us to work together and to run a business together, but also to be married to each other and, where is the separation and like the fine lines sometimes.

Chris: That is the thing I struggle with the most is the separation.

Especially with my job being running the back office and it's tough to have a financial conversation with your business partner. Who is also your spouse. So those can be difficult from time to time. But we're, 

Brittany: that's always fun.

Chris: Treading the water and figuring it out. 

Brittany: Yeah, and I think it's great because there, it's allowed for Chris to spend so much more time like with our girls and I feel like has some like roles within our family that you probably wouldn't have thought you would have.

Like when we had our more like standard corporate jobs and it was like, yeah, you left for work early and came home late and I was cooking dinner and now it's all role reversal. There's so many things that are just different, but we're doing what works best for our family.And we've paved a way and it looks different than all of our other friends, but it's what works best for us and I think it's been really cool to see how you've taken on the parenting role.

Just everything that you do within our house is amazing and I know our girls look up to you and know that like you're always going to be there for them. I think that is something I'm so excited you have the opportunity to do. Okay, we've got a few more questions. We're going to gotta wrap this up a little bit.

Okay. A few fun questions. Dream golf destination. I'm going to do some like spitfire here. 

Chris: If we're going in the United States, let's go to Pebble Beach in that area out there. If we're going abroad, let's go to Scotland. And Augusta, but that's not a destination, that's just an hour away.

Brittany: Favorite Patriot's memory? 

Chris: I was at the 28-3 Super Bowl. I remember calling Brittany during the Lady Gaga show saying, oh my God, I spent so much money to see a Lady Gaga, concert . I will never forget that. 

Brittany: Love it. Okay. What about, what is your favorite thing about going to Florida State?

Chris: School was fun, obviously. The four years there was great. But it's the relationships that I still have to this day. I think four of my groomsmen were my fraternity brothers. I talk to a couple of the guys from the lacrosse team pretty regularly, and I'm still very close with my core group fraternity guys.

We're still in a group text that every Saturday when the nols play, we are chatting it up. Basketball's not great right now, but football, we're back, so I like it. 

Brittany: What would be some advice or tips or tricks for anybody who is a beginner runner?

Chris: Start slow when you first start running. If you're running by yourself, think of it the pace you run, you should be able to have a conversation with someone running next to you.

Biggest issues guys run into is they start too fast, they run too fast and they run too many miles and they get hurt. And then you end up sideline with, knee issues, ankle issues, foot issues. I've dealt with all of them because I didn't know any of this going into it, but yeah. Take it slow, ease into it and just appreciate your ability to be able to do it. 

Brittany: All right. Final question. What do you think about the mattress that you just had to have? 

Chris: Good, not great still to be determined.

Brittany: I feel like our review right now is that if we could return it, we would. Unfortunately we can't 

Chris: Correct. It's like the one brand that like doesn't have a return policy.

It is good, it's fine. But I remember sleeping in Nashville in that hotel bed and it being so much better than it is every night. 

Brittany: Yeah. So we went to Nashville and we stayed at this hotel, and the mattress is, I think Sealy Black. 

Chris: Yeah, it's like the hotel collection. 

Brittany: And Chris took the bed apart to figure out what this mattress was. And then we did some research and read all these like great reviews. I polled the audience and they were the like, Most of the people who had it were like, this is amazing. Absolutely love it. But for whatever reason, I just feel like it's not as firm as I remember being. Yeah. So I'm like, did we get the right one?

And it also feels like it caves in the middle. Which for a brand new mattress, I feel like that shouldn't be the case, especially to be more firm. Prior to this, we had the Helix mattress, which was like customized for my side and his side, which I think we would definitely get again.

Chris: I could see us going back to that.

Brittany: Yeah.because when we made that, you weren't running, you weren't like in shape the way that you are and so now you just need a different support. 

Chris: I was 40 pounds heavier when I was sleeping on that thing for a couple of years. So I think the support went a lot faster than it would now.

Again, it's good. It's not great. It's like I said, I just remembered Nashville sleeping like a baby and being like, that was awesome. And it could have just been because we were on our feet all day and we went to the honky tonks and we were out all night and I just had a great night's sleepbecause we were just really tired 

Brittany: or an impulse buying a mattress.

But we waited like a month before we pulled the trigger and really did some research. 

Chris: But we probably should have slept on it for more than one night prior to buying. 

Brittany: I know. Anyway. This was really fun. I hope you guys got to know Chris a little bit more. If you're new to listening to the podcast or if you've never heard him talk before, answering some of these questions were really fun.

I hope that they were helpful, especially in the gift giving area.because I know everybody's in that mode right now where it's like, what am I going to get? So and so we've got lots of great resources on. Loverly Grey we'll continue to give you guys some awesome. Options for the holidays, but we appreciate y'all and we love you.

And thanks for listening. Thanks everybody.

Hi, friend. If you're loving the show, will you go find that follow button on your podcast app? This will ensure that you won't miss a single episode. I love having you in this community. Until next time.

This season of Life with Loverly is produced by Elizabeth Evans Media Productions.

 

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